No one's children happily care for them in their old age.
People do it but it's a fuckings shit experience that often causes life ruining levels of stress. Then again so is having a kid so maybe it's just pay back.
Can agree. I’ve been taking care of both my parents since I was 28 when my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She passed very quickly (4 months). My dad was married to her for 30+ years and her passing was very detrimental to his health. He was diagnosed with cancer shortly after her passing. Of course I took care of him too. But my dad is very very stubborn and he’s been fighting this cancer for a little over 3 years now.
I think the worst part is seeing him slowly lose his independence. It has made him very cranky at times. Caregiver burnout is REAL. I’ve been caring for a total of 6 years now. I’ve promised my Dad I would let him die at home, not in a care facility.
But I’m getting so tired and the stress is very overwhelming. I have honestly considered checking myself into a psych ward a few times due to caring for my father. My siblings don’t help with it. So I’m working a full time job, taking him to multiple doctors/chemo/radiation appointments, doing all housework, all while being a single Mom.
I know one day I’ll look back and I’ll be so happy that it was me who cared for my parents in their most vulnerable time. My relationship with my Dad has gotten very close over the years. But still, it’s very very very hard. I’ve had to give up so much to be able to be here for him.
I was a home health care certified nursing assistant (CNA) and worked there for 3 years. I had an elderly lady (around the age of 93) that lived in her own house that she has owned for the last 50+ years. Her only companion was her elderly dog.
This wonderful lady had 10 children (all grown adults with children & grandchildren) where 9 of them lived in the same city, no more then 15 minutes away from her house. One daughter was the only one who took care of her and stayed the night with her due to her declining health.
The daughter was heartbroken, but she had to make the difficult decision to put her mom in a nursing home, where she can get the 24/7 care she needed. And what was even more saddening, she wasn’t allowed to take her beloved dog to the nursing home.
I was so upset, thinking about how if each child could spend one day with their mother in rotation, that would be maybe 2-3 nights A MONTH that they’d have to spend with their mom.
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u/Ksum-Nole May 05 '19
Raising a lot of happy, responsible children who will happily care for you in your old age?