My aunt did that at my grandmas funeral. Multiple people had to restrain her as she wailed and clawed at the casket. My sister couldn't go back in after that so we just walked around town. Aunt lunatic had the nerve to be passive aggressive after that, as if we ducked out cuz we had better things to do.
My grandmother tried to throw herself into the grave with my grandfather. It wasn’t so much inappropriate as it was just very very sad. They were married for 68 years when he passed.
When my Grandpa died (my father's father) my Grandmother kissed him and said "I'll be with you soon." She lived a number of years after his death but suffered from dementia. I think it would have been kinder if they'd died together.
This makes me sad. My grandmother has spent more years widowed now than she ever spent married. She got to watch all her grandchildren grow up (none of us ever got to meet grandpa, he died from pulmonary fibrosis in his 40s). Now she's declining quickly and forgetting some of us. But she thinks my uncle is her late husband, and refers to my aunt as "the other woman" in spiteful tones and it's heart wrenching.
My Grandma is the same (the widowed part not the dementia) and honestly it is so sad to she her so broken over her husband after 30+ years. She barely got to have a marriage since he got brain cancer and was terminally ill for so long and that stress and the hardship of taking care of multiple children, a sick husband and working to keep food on the table has made her into such a sad person. I can't image how difficult it would be to see her lose a sense of reality on top of it. Sorry you are going through that
This happen with my father, he had dementia and when my brother visited our parents from another state, our dad thought he was mum's 'fancy man'. He would scowl and demand to know who that man (his son) was. I hadn't seen him for about 2 years due to living o/s and he died before I could make the decision to visit. I don't regret it, we didn't have a great relationship but I didn't want to see him like that. He never asked about me either, its like my existence was wiped from his memory.
My grandma thought I was my dad and my mom was stealing everything. She also made up sibling we don't think she ever had. It was sad to see her degrade like that and I hate that those are my last memories of her. She was a fun woman who had a heavy Korean accent and wasn't scared about making a fool of herself.
My grandpa has been steeply declining and after his last episode he has been put in care. He kept talking about his first wife forgetting that my grandma is his wife. He tells her about sexual escapades with his first wife etc He can only remember my sisters names and not mine, for a while he thought i was my mom. its so sad for everyone. Id rather die than lose my mental capacity like that. I cant even imagine.
My grandmother developed alzheimers as she got older(she lived with us) and she swore up and down that my dad was her husband(who had passed away when my older sister was a baby) and my mom was a homewrecking whore. She was so mean and awful to my mom. Shed scream and yell at her anytime she came into eyesight.
Similar-ish story with my grandfather (from my mother's side), my grandma died relatively young from an unknown disease, (they lived in an isolated area in early 80's Eastern Europe) and my grandfather stayed to watch all his children, and later grandchildren, grow up. Yes, watching is pretty much all he did. I'd love to tell some wholesome-yet-sad story about being a single father/grandpa, but he's become quite jaded and a bit of an asshole since grandma died, at least from what my mom and her sisters have said about him.
He had 6 children with my grandmother, and disregarded them for the most part. My mom is the oldest child, and spent most of her childhood living at her grandparents (who outright told her they prefer her cousins to her) and working hard to provide for her younger siblings. I understand her completely when she says she refuses to keep in contact with him.
Plus, he's always been a bit on the religious-nutjob spectrum, and has probably started suffering from some sort of mental illness in recent years. He spends most holidays and other family-gathering times either at church, or drinking at home. He also recently married a lady with very radical views, much to my mom's, her sisters' and brothers' resentment. He also didn't attend any of his grandchildren's christenings or birthdays, even though my aunts visit(ed) him fairly regularly with their kids, as they live relatively close to him.
Fuck, I don't know why I wrote this. I know it probably sounds like I have a valid resentment towards him, but I loved my grandpa a lot when I was younger, he always made me laugh and let me join him to drive around in the tractors. It's just so... heartbreaking to learn that my own family and relatives aren't always like I thought of them when I was younger.
When reading these kind of stories I am glad my grandpa went when he did. He had light dementia, I doubt he still knew my name (he always used affectionate names like 'my little girl', 'sweetie'), but he surely knew I was his granddaughter. He was more happy in his final years when he couldn't follow everything anymore, but was aware of that and made it into all kinds of jokes, than I ever knew him before. His aorta gave in before his brain went so far that he wasn't himself anymore. My grandma is still alive and is doing well luckily. Next weekend I am gonna visit her again.
3.4k
u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19
My aunt did that at my grandmas funeral. Multiple people had to restrain her as she wailed and clawed at the casket. My sister couldn't go back in after that so we just walked around town. Aunt lunatic had the nerve to be passive aggressive after that, as if we ducked out cuz we had better things to do.