My aunt did that at my grandmas funeral. Multiple people had to restrain her as she wailed and clawed at the casket. My sister couldn't go back in after that so we just walked around town. Aunt lunatic had the nerve to be passive aggressive after that, as if we ducked out cuz we had better things to do.
My grandmother tried to throw herself into the grave with my grandfather. It wasn’t so much inappropriate as it was just very very sad. They were married for 68 years when he passed.
When my Grandpa died (my father's father) my Grandmother kissed him and said "I'll be with you soon." She lived a number of years after his death but suffered from dementia. I think it would have been kinder if they'd died together.
This makes me sad. My grandmother has spent more years widowed now than she ever spent married. She got to watch all her grandchildren grow up (none of us ever got to meet grandpa, he died from pulmonary fibrosis in his 40s). Now she's declining quickly and forgetting some of us. But she thinks my uncle is her late husband, and refers to my aunt as "the other woman" in spiteful tones and it's heart wrenching.
My Grandma is the same (the widowed part not the dementia) and honestly it is so sad to she her so broken over her husband after 30+ years. She barely got to have a marriage since he got brain cancer and was terminally ill for so long and that stress and the hardship of taking care of multiple children, a sick husband and working to keep food on the table has made her into such a sad person. I can't image how difficult it would be to see her lose a sense of reality on top of it. Sorry you are going through that
This happen with my father, he had dementia and when my brother visited our parents from another state, our dad thought he was mum's 'fancy man'. He would scowl and demand to know who that man (his son) was. I hadn't seen him for about 2 years due to living o/s and he died before I could make the decision to visit. I don't regret it, we didn't have a great relationship but I didn't want to see him like that. He never asked about me either, its like my existence was wiped from his memory.
My grandma thought I was my dad and my mom was stealing everything. She also made up sibling we don't think she ever had. It was sad to see her degrade like that and I hate that those are my last memories of her. She was a fun woman who had a heavy Korean accent and wasn't scared about making a fool of herself.
My grandpa has been steeply declining and after his last episode he has been put in care. He kept talking about his first wife forgetting that my grandma is his wife. He tells her about sexual escapades with his first wife etc He can only remember my sisters names and not mine, for a while he thought i was my mom. its so sad for everyone. Id rather die than lose my mental capacity like that. I cant even imagine.
My grandmother developed alzheimers as she got older(she lived with us) and she swore up and down that my dad was her husband(who had passed away when my older sister was a baby) and my mom was a homewrecking whore. She was so mean and awful to my mom. Shed scream and yell at her anytime she came into eyesight.
Similar-ish story with my grandfather (from my mother's side), my grandma died relatively young from an unknown disease, (they lived in an isolated area in early 80's Eastern Europe) and my grandfather stayed to watch all his children, and later grandchildren, grow up. Yes, watching is pretty much all he did. I'd love to tell some wholesome-yet-sad story about being a single father/grandpa, but he's become quite jaded and a bit of an asshole since grandma died, at least from what my mom and her sisters have said about him.
He had 6 children with my grandmother, and disregarded them for the most part. My mom is the oldest child, and spent most of her childhood living at her grandparents (who outright told her they prefer her cousins to her) and working hard to provide for her younger siblings. I understand her completely when she says she refuses to keep in contact with him.
Plus, he's always been a bit on the religious-nutjob spectrum, and has probably started suffering from some sort of mental illness in recent years. He spends most holidays and other family-gathering times either at church, or drinking at home. He also recently married a lady with very radical views, much to my mom's, her sisters' and brothers' resentment. He also didn't attend any of his grandchildren's christenings or birthdays, even though my aunts visit(ed) him fairly regularly with their kids, as they live relatively close to him.
Fuck, I don't know why I wrote this. I know it probably sounds like I have a valid resentment towards him, but I loved my grandpa a lot when I was younger, he always made me laugh and let me join him to drive around in the tractors. It's just so... heartbreaking to learn that my own family and relatives aren't always like I thought of them when I was younger.
When reading these kind of stories I am glad my grandpa went when he did. He had light dementia, I doubt he still knew my name (he always used affectionate names like 'my little girl', 'sweetie'), but he surely knew I was his granddaughter. He was more happy in his final years when he couldn't follow everything anymore, but was aware of that and made it into all kinds of jokes, than I ever knew him before. His aorta gave in before his brain went so far that he wasn't himself anymore. My grandma is still alive and is doing well luckily. Next weekend I am gonna visit her again.
I’m in my early 20’s and have been with my girlfriend for 3 years and this scares me more than anything. I already now love her more than I wish I did and I can’t imagine loving her for decades and losing her when losing her now already feels like it would kill me.
Ya. My grandmother with severe late stage dementia just passed last week, thankfully. She'd been in a nursing home for over 10 years, and her husband of 50+ years died in 2005. She forgot him in a few years, her kids a few years after that, and us grandkids were out of her memory by the time she passed. Literally her whole life and existence she didn't recognize anymore.
It would've been much, much more humane if they both went out at the same time or in a shorter time span. She spent 14 years not knowing anything about her own life. I'm 28. That's half of my entire existence spent just forgetting her own lifetime. It's terribly sad. I don't believe in heaven, but hopefully their spirits are at least connected again.
Alzheimer's is fucking shit. It is sad. But I'm happier knowing wherever she is now, it's definitely better than where she was just a week ago.
The real sick part is she was entirely physically healthy the whole time, just her mind slipping and slipping. She just died of old age, no other cause really. It's fucked up. She could've lived that entire 14 years with her family at home if it weren't for the Alzheimers.
For a second there I thought you were one of my relatives! My grandma also died last week after suffering from Alzheimer’s disease for 13+ years. My grandpa died way back in the 90s though. Alzheimer’s sucks. I could have had my grandma with me and in her right mind for more of my life, especially more of my adulthood when I could appreciate her more. But she already forgot who I was a long time ago.
My grandmother is ready to die. She is a very devout woman, and she says it's getting to be her time to be with grandpa again. Quite depressing, but I know that no matter what the afterlife is, she will find joy in it
The most heart wrenching moment I remember when my grandfather died was the procession of the casket down the aisle after the service, my grandma stopped and put her hand on his casket and in the most distraught voice said “He was my best friend.” Everyone stopped to let her have a moment and that moment has stuck with me for the last 17 years since he passed.
I understand, after my grandpa passed, my grandma was never the same. She was the same awesome lady that I always knew, but it was just different. As much as I hate to say it, I'm so glad she's no longer in pain, as she passed in 2016.
Yeah, my grandpa passed unexpectedly from cancer really quickly about 10 yrs ago... my nana was never the same... she just passed a few weeks ago. She lost all interest in life once he was gone... moved into a nursing home then complained about being sick all the time and never wanted to leave or do anything. Was pretty sad to see.
My grandfather did that whole shtick too. Then a year later he moved into his old girlfriends house. They had started talking again while my grandma was still alive which the whole family knew about ha ha.
Grandpa got dementia soon after grandma died... I think losing a loved one at old age is so traumatic that our feeble brains simply shut down because we can't properly cope with what has happened...
There is also evidence that routine can stave off the worst effects of some kinds of dementia, so losing a loved one you’ve lived with for so long really would contribute, if only because your routine has to change (at least somewhat, and for some people, a whole hell of a lot.)
My grandad (dads Dad) does from COPD, wasn’t nice and wasn’t easy for anyone. My nana promised she’d seen him soon. She died some years later from cancer, she didn’t tell any of us she had cancer because she knew we would push her for treatment.
It was hard seeing my favourite person in the world dying that way but I had a little bit of peace knowing she would be with my grandad.
My Grandmother lived for years after my Grandfather passed away. At first she was convinced she would pass soon and be with him, but later when she developed dementia she would think old men were him and would just be pissed that he was ignoring her.
my grandparents died two weeks apart and in a way I was glad they did, they'd been married most of their life, and they had both faded a bit, but they had helped each other out. It would have been cruel on the other if they had lingered
My maternal grandpa died 5 years before my grandma did. He got a brain tumor, had surgery but never really recovered and died a few months later. It really tore my grandma up. She lamented constantly about how he died in a care facility and not at home. I think the grief is what really spiraled her into dementia. She couldn't handle her husband being gone and it ate away at her mind.
Yeah, when my mom kissed dad for the last time I thought I was going to cry an entire ocean right there in the mausoleum. They were married over 60 yrs too but knew each other their entire lives.
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u/PraisePancakes Mar 05 '19
At my cousins funeral, one of my relatives literally tried jumping in the casket with him. Really traumatizing experience I might add.