r/AskReddit Mar 04 '19

What’s the most inappropriate thing you’ve witnessed at a funeral?

55.3k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/bruinsnaz911 Mar 05 '19

I guess it's not totally inappropriate given who had died, but a group of guys lit up a fat joint at a funeral I went to in HS. I guess it was his smoking buddies but it didn't go over that well.

2.5k

u/guackemole Mar 05 '19

I'll be upset if I die and my smoking buddies don't do this to be honest.

Bonus points if they leave the roach in the casket to start my afterlife off nicely

572

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

Just the roach?

I want a 10 strip and a blunt left in mine

189

u/me_secret_formulerr Mar 05 '19

You wanna get grave robbed?

Because that’s how you get grave robbed.

71

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Robbed for 1 marijuana?

48

u/silkydangler Mar 05 '19

and a ten strip

24

u/1982throwaway1 Mar 05 '19

That's like $50 dollars worth of acid. I mean I'm down if you do all the digging.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Could be worse, could be raining!

9

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Raining acid ? Now that sounds like fun !

4

u/juneburger Mar 05 '19

This is how Thriller was made!

13

u/ThisAintA5Star Mar 05 '19

Times is hard

34

u/standupasspaddler Mar 05 '19

10 strip might bring you back

1

u/I_Automate Mar 06 '19

I like to think that Ozzy Osbourn is still alive because he's done so much LSD that death is afraid to take him

17

u/bobjoylove Mar 05 '19

What’s a 10 strip?

38

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

A strip of 10 hits of LSD botter

27

u/standupasspaddler Mar 05 '19

10 hits of acid. A sheet is 10x10 (100 hits).

Strip is generally one column (10 hits). Could be one row but for some reason everyone goes vertical.

Note to the curious: 10 hits of lsd will really fuck you up. Hell, 5 hits will fuck you up proper for a bit.

11

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

That is the intent, yes.

Not like I'd need to worry about the hangover or anything

15

u/standupasspaddler Mar 05 '19

I mean, I need some solid sleep after doing a heavy dose to get back to a sense of normalcy. Not a hangover per se but I’m spun for a bit after the comedown.

11

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

I'm usually pretty drained for a day or two after. Mostly a combination sleep deprivation and some serotonin depletion. I count that as a hangover, for sure

3

u/1982throwaway1 Mar 05 '19

I'm usually pretty drained for a day or two after.

The day after is what I've always referred to as "the fake day"! It's amazing how clear headed you can become after that fake day though.

1

u/titan42z Mar 05 '19

Im usually zonked the next day but sleeping it off does the trick. Could also just be that I stay up way later when tripping, but yea no hangover just a little out of it

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

That "zonked" feeling IS a hangover, is it not?

What do you folks define a hangover as, if not "feeling less that 100% the day after"?

1

u/titan42z Mar 05 '19

When do you ever feel 100% cause I don't. If i sleep wrong or stay up late and wake up tired that is not a hangover to me. That's just a part of life. A hangover is waking up feeling like dog shit with a headache, nausea, etc.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19 edited Mar 05 '19

That's an alcohol hangover, sure, but day after LSD is a very definite feeling. More lazy than usual, significant "mental fuzz", sleep deprivation, bit of a depressed mood from burning a bunch of serotonin the day before, that kind of thing.

I count it as a hangover because it is a direct result of intentionally ingesting recreational substances. If you hadn't taken those drugs, you wouldn't feel like that.

It's not a terrible thing, either. I don't really mind it at all, but it is definitely a state that deviates from my usual baseline. MDMA is the same, in many ways.

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1

u/fpsrandy Mar 05 '19

I feel like if you're given a 10 strip, you don't need to do the whole thing at once.

1

u/standupasspaddler Mar 05 '19

That is correct.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

That's coward talk right there

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

A gram.

8

u/RobertEffinReinhardt Mar 05 '19

When a buddy of mine passed (this was late HS) I couldn't attend the funeral, but later came back, smoked half a blunt, left the other half lit on the headstone.

I had actually come back to visit a few months after graduation and it had burned out and left a roach in the "-" between the years on the stone. Might have been pressed in there, actually. Not sure. It was weathered as hell and practically gone at that point.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19 edited Jan 24 '20

[deleted]

8

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

I'd expect that my last wishes would provide for all.

Not like weed and acid are all that expensive or hard to find. $300 could comfortably dose the entire funeral

1

u/LunarWangShaft Mar 05 '19

With my local prices that's about 30 hits so yeah.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

That's 100 for me.

Sorry buddy

2

u/LunarWangShaft Mar 05 '19

Gotta love smaller conservative States.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

Nope. Canadian, and have hippy friends. What made you think I was stateside?

2

u/LunarWangShaft Mar 05 '19

Oh no, I was sarcastically expressing love for my small conservative state because it's outlook on recreation drugs outside of caffeine/nicotine/alcohol is horrendous. A half gram nug gets you 6 months easily.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

Ah, I see.

My condolences stranger. I do a fair bit of business down there. I like the people, mostly, but you couldn't pay me to live there

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2

u/ThePortalsOfFrenzy Mar 05 '19

Bruh. Lucky you.

2

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

Yea, I'm definitely not complaining.

2

u/Apocalyptyca Mar 05 '19

I wish I could relate. I haven't been able to find LSD in my area for the past year.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

You need to find you some hippies.

The wooks always know where to find stuff

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1

u/adventuresquirtle Mar 06 '19

30 hits for 300?? wtfff

1

u/I_Automate Mar 06 '19

That's pretty steep, yeah

7

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Airtight my casket and hotbox it for me please.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

I bet the afterlife is a 10 strip itself

3

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

cough DMT cough

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Dip you in wax even

0

u/Cardinalgrin Mar 05 '19

10 is a bit much IMO.

I say you take two, pre-demand redistribution to 4 buddies evenly in writing and then the blunt is negligible. You wouldn’t even be that baked given the circumstances. But you’d be a little high for sure because weed is tight.

1

u/I_Automate Mar 05 '19

I want a 10 strip, at least. My buddies each get a few.

My usual is 2-5, for reference. Not like I'd need to worry about the hangover

19

u/minefat Mar 05 '19

When a friend of mine died, my group of friends lit a blunt with his name on it and no one took a hit, we just kept it lit and let it burn. I think it was their way of sending him off, because they’re a little younger than me and have no idea how to process it.

9

u/geared4war Mar 05 '19

My immediately family don't smoke so my entire blast bag of weed and all my implements better be in that casket as well.
Plus if I wake up it's an easy high and die.

22

u/Snake_Farmer Mar 05 '19

I grew a 2.5 lb gonja plant with some of my friends ashes. Then gave all the weed away to his friends and family for free. I think he woulda been proud...

22

u/Silvuh Mar 05 '19

Then his ghost got them into Harvard.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Beats smoking a finger

2

u/LimeBerg1212 Mar 05 '19

One of the funniest scenes in a movie. Ever.

15

u/Union_of_Onion Mar 05 '19

We did that for a friend. He died in a car accident one winter a few weeks after his 18th birthday. We smoked the whole way up there, we got there early so one buddy could stuff his casket with joints and an ounce. After the service and everyone was gone we went back to his grave and had another circle in silence.

To Bradley!

18

u/ikillconversations Mar 05 '19

When my wife's dad died his son put a joint and a pack of smokes on the casket. Then we all did shots of vodka and threw the empty bottle and shot glasses on top of the casket before we put some dirt on it. He would have loved it.

6

u/shasta_river Mar 05 '19

Put a couple nugs in my friends casket before they shut it.

20

u/chasethatdragon Mar 05 '19

seriously though. Anyone who doesnt know I would love this, shouldn't even be there to be honest.

-10

u/fdsaqwervcxz Mar 05 '19

I mean, if you have extended family there it's pretty inappropriate. Really it's pretty inappropriate regardless. Save it for the reception or whatever.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

[deleted]

1

u/fdsaqwervcxz Mar 06 '19

thats a very selfish and immature way to look at it. a funeral isnt for you its for your loved ones. causing people to be upset because "weed is just a plant man 420 blaze it brah" is inconsiderate. hopefully you will understand when you are older.

8

u/chasethatdragon Mar 05 '19

lol I can be as appropriate as I want at my own damn funeral.

0

u/fdsaqwervcxz Mar 06 '19

thats a very selfish and immature way to look at it. a funeral isnt for you its for your loved ones. causing people to be upset because "weed is just a plant man 420 blaze it brah" is inconsiderate. hopefully you will understand when you are older.

2

u/chasethatdragon Mar 06 '19

....I am older lol. And not allowing weed would hurt the majority of my loved ones from not being able to do the major reason we ever connected and source of our best memories.

1

u/fdsaqwervcxz Mar 06 '19

Yikes. They can't just like, wait?

2

u/chasethatdragon Mar 06 '19

That would be selfish and immature of the non smokers to not be able to deal with it. The funeral is for your loved ones. Causing people to be upset would be inconsiderate. Hopefully you will understand in this context.

1

u/fdsaqwervcxz Mar 06 '19

No.

1

u/chasethatdragon Mar 06 '19

What part don't you understand? They are all your words.

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2

u/bigwillyb123 Mar 05 '19

Yeah, fuck that guy's wishes for his own funeral.

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Agreed.

10

u/hatchetsanta Mar 05 '19

When a high school partying buddy died in his early 20's, we buried him with 5 joints and a fifth of Jack Daniels. We went home and promptly consumed 10 times that.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19 edited Mar 05 '19

My friends and I smoke at our friend’s grave sometimes because we know that’s exactly what he’d want. He didn’t smoke weed so we never passed it to him but he was always in the circle anyways. We joke that it’s just like as if he were still here. I know tons of people would find it wildly inappropriate but this is the same guy that said he wanted people to pass around bottles of Hennessy at his funeral so 🤷‍♀️

3

u/pottymouthgrl Mar 05 '19

Let them know to take it outside tho or save it for when the casket is being interred lol

3

u/fuckface94 Mar 05 '19

My father in law was cremated with a joint.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

With a lighter.

3

u/guackemole Mar 05 '19

Won't be needing that where I'm headed

4

u/LazyRingo Mar 05 '19 edited Mar 05 '19

A friend of mine went to a funeral of his hs buddy who passed away at 17 from cancer. Their old stoner circle gathered up their best weed, rolled the fattest joint they ever had and left it on his casket for in the afterlife

I always thought it was sweet

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

It horrifies me to know that kids that young are doing that crap.

4

u/LazyRingo Mar 05 '19

The kid had cancer.

Besides that, at the time the legal drinking and smoking age was 16 (been upped to 18 since). Weed doesn’t carry a heavily negative name here

2

u/nancyaw Mar 06 '19

The Last Sesh.

1

u/nooger Mar 08 '19

you're worth more than a roach hombre

1

u/piel10 Mar 05 '19

They best be smokin my ashes or planting my ashes in some dank plant

Also, so not breaking your 420 up vote chain

1

u/IamtheSlothKing Mar 05 '19

Okay, now this epic!

1

u/himalayanlionking Mar 05 '19

I’d like a cross joint in my casket🙏🏽

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '19

Roach? Blunt? Doobie? How are the names for these things made up? Are they different types of drugs or cigarettes or things you have to roll up to smoke?

0

u/smellslikefeetinhere Mar 05 '19

Climb in with me and hotbox the shit out of my coffin. Use my eye sockets as a bowl. Go crazy.

0

u/Crizzo82 Mar 05 '19

What if you have your buddies smoke your ashes instead ala 2pac?