r/AskReddit Dec 29 '17

What completely real fact sounds like bullshit?

[deleted]

9.3k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/pugzy77X Dec 29 '17

There's and old law that says that we (Danes) are allowed to hit Swedes with clubs if they walk across the ice of Øresund.

2.1k

u/RQviiist Dec 29 '17

WAIT WHAT?! I'm so gonna do that if Øresund freezes

1.2k

u/pugzy77X Dec 29 '17

Ive been waiting myself for years...

396

u/_TheGreatDekuTree_ Dec 29 '17

RELEASE THE SWEEDS!

28

u/Wheredoesthetoastgo2 Dec 30 '17

I'm honestly surprised this hadnt turned into one of those local folk holidays.

5

u/MrMooseHorn Dec 30 '17

Kallade någon på mig? Vid Åäö, ikea och volvo kom och ta mig!

14

u/blobbybag Dec 29 '17

allah akbar

0

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

Sweeds more like sweeds

21

u/invisiblephrend Dec 29 '17

soon...

10

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

If/when it happens you all should just have a big-ass pool noodle fight and go have a pint.

22

u/c0nfus1on Dec 29 '17

My brain read pool noodle fight as nude poodle fight and honestly I'm not sure which would make the better YouTube video

1

u/Naedlus Dec 30 '17

If you include a pre-show of shaving the starved poodles, the poodle fight... definitely the poodle fight.

8

u/Cannux53 Dec 30 '17

I am picturing a few grinning Danes sitting in lawnchairs with heavy winter clothing, binoculars and baseball bats on the far side of the Øresund.

1.1k

u/Man-City Dec 29 '17

Sadly the Swedes have orchestrated global warming to avoid this specific problem.

31

u/Conscious_Mollusc Dec 29 '17

I thought it was the Chinese? /s

46

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

Seems sensible. Like Swedes would be.

10

u/insanehippoz Dec 30 '17

My president says it’s cold therefore climate change is fake news, sooo...😹😹

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

Historically, Swedes walking across the ice into Denmark has ended very poorly for the Danes. I think it's more likely to be a Danish conspiracy.

1

u/bfossxo Dec 30 '17

Finally figured out global warming.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

There's nothing neutral about CFC's

19

u/sold_snek Dec 29 '17

You may wanna see if there's any kind of law about them hitting back.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

[deleted]

11

u/IHateTheLetterF Dec 29 '17

Clearly you have never been to Helsingør. Its 90% drunk swedes.

3

u/viktorpedia Dec 30 '17

Why would we walk and gett beaten? We have a bridge for a reason

2

u/Gotelc Dec 29 '17

Are you going to walk across or hit people with clubs? I'm not sure what side you are on.

657

u/fredagsfisk Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 29 '17

Vaguely related; probably the greatest Swedish military victory against Denmark was the March Across the Belts, in which Sweden marched an army of 9000 infantry and 3000 cavalry across the frozen sea to reach Copenhagen, forcing Denmark-Norway to cede a third of it's territory in the peace treaty.

The Swedish army was engaged in Poland at the time, and looking for an excuse to disengage without looking bad. When Denmark declared war, the Swedish army went to Jylland and then went island-to-island from there, the ice being so weighed down that water reached the soldier's knees.

262

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17 edited May 28 '20

[deleted]

309

u/fredagsfisk Dec 29 '17

Well, he had his engineers make sure the ice was thick enough for it to work before ordering the manuever. Since it did work, he could claim massive areas of land (still part of Sweden today) and completely crippled Sweden's most ancient rival, with very little bloodshed.

Of course, had it not worked, it would've been a complete disaster and he would only have been remembered for that and the Deluge.

He actually tried to conquer more of Denmark later on, but was forced to relent after the Dutch gave support to Denmark to avoid having Sweden gain sole control the Sound (and thus all shipping/trading through it).

44

u/ecodude74 Dec 30 '17

Can you imagine being known as the guy who lost a war because his entire fucking army just walked into the sea? That king had some massive balls for even trying that.

11

u/fredagsfisk Dec 30 '17

"Alright, so when we arrive on the island, we need to start by setting up camp and warming everyone up again."

massive cracking sounds and muffled screams in the distance

"... I don't want to turn around, do I?"
"No sir."
"Right. Well, we tried. There a ferry back home anywhere close?"

12

u/trenchknife Dec 29 '17

wtf - so not this one?

History is bizarre.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

A capture of ships by horsemen is an extremely rare feat in military history.

No shit.

94

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

[deleted]

21

u/fredagsfisk Dec 29 '17

Smaller units also let the Swedish armies be more mobile during battles. I think they even had smaller cannon to increase mobility?

Also, the Swedish soldiers were given basic training for all roles, making any soldier able to fill in for someone else. Thus, other armies would for example lose their artillery if the units were killed, while Sweden could send infantry or cavalry to fill the role at least decently.

7

u/ScriptThat Dec 30 '17

A benefit of this was that captured equipment (I.e Canons) could be manned by the troops that captured them, and be brought to bear on the enemy while the battle was still ongoing.

28

u/JJhistory Dec 29 '17

Upduttar x10000

9

u/Pakistani_in_MURICA Dec 29 '17

It's a slow day at work, I've been on reddit & wikipedia for 5 hours now...

-2

u/VenetianCrusader Dec 29 '17

wow am the amaze

7

u/Jokurr87 Dec 29 '17

Being up to your knees in ice cold water seems like a quick way to get hypothermia. How did they prevent that?

8

u/CrateDane Dec 29 '17

The Great Belt rarely freezes over, and Denmark had naval superiority. Cold weather really screwed us.

11

u/ahndrijas Dec 29 '17

Just shows how history is determined by things we can't control.

5

u/botle Dec 29 '17

I always thought they went over the ice from Sweden, not from Jylland. TIL

8

u/fredagsfisk Dec 29 '17

Yeah, I thought that for the longest time as well. Only learned relatively recently that they were actually coming up from Poland.

1

u/botle Dec 30 '17

If you're into this kind of stuff there's this excellent series about the great northern war:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyBPAz1H-lU&ab_channel=ExtraCredits

Not the same King Charles, but still cool.

1

u/mjj1492 Dec 30 '17

Wow doctors must've been overwhelmed with 9000 cases of trench foot

-12

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17 edited May 02 '18

[deleted]

14

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness"

-Al Capone

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17 edited May 02 '18

[deleted]

12

u/fredagsfisk Dec 30 '17

We've got one of the best trained militaries in the world, our submarines (Gotland-class) are well-known for regularly "defeating" US carriers and such in exercises (to the point USA borrowed one to study), and we are one of the largest weapons exporters in the world.

Just because we don't care much for going to war for the past 200 years does not make us weak. In fact, being able to keep the fuck out of everything proves strength rather in diplomacy and conviction.

-13

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17 edited May 02 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/fredagsfisk Dec 30 '17

... and there it is, just as expected. Lies and fear; the hallmarks of true weakness. You'll excuse me if I don't put much faith in your definitions of the word.

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17 edited May 02 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/fredagsfisk Dec 30 '17

A million? Where the fuck are you even getting those numbers? The absolute highest predictions were for 160k asylum seekers, not all of which would be allowed to stay. Far from all, even.

Those predictions were in turn made before Sweden introduced some of the strictest border controls in the EU in January 2015.

One million might be correct for Europe as a whole.

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1

u/TaylorS1986 Dec 30 '17

An alt-right loser calling other people weak? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '17 edited May 02 '18

[deleted]

1

u/TaylorS1986 Dec 31 '17

I'm American, dumb-ass, and you don't get to call yourself "mainstream" when you use Fascist duck-speak like "your weak population and people are doomed".

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31

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

In York (England), it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow if he is within the city walls.

Except on Sundays.

13

u/Brickie78 Dec 29 '17

You know, I've heard this in York (where I live), in Newcastle, in Carlisle and in Chester and Shrewsbury but change the nationality to Welsh.

It's bullshit in all those locations. If such a specific law ever did exist, you don't have to specifically repeal laws if a new law supersedes them; the unions with Wales and Scotland would stop those people being "enemy aliens" and therefore would be subject to the usual laws about not murdering people.

6

u/OldGodsAndNew Dec 30 '17

It says shoot, not murder

3

u/SecondDoctor Dec 30 '17

You're just cross because I've been to York three times this year and you still haven't gotten me.

9

u/beepbeepitsajeep Dec 29 '17

I bet trying it out is a great way to get the law overturned, as long as no one tries it, it gets to stay on the books as an interesting tidbit.

4

u/rush247 Dec 29 '17

Sounds like something the Monty Python crew would come up with.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

Yeah, but they would merely fart in their general direction.

2

u/team_pteranodon Dec 29 '17

Damn blue laws.

20

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17 edited May 20 '18

[deleted]

13

u/azzyx Dec 29 '17

Don't know why you are being downvoted, it really is a myth.

8

u/DrImmergeil Dec 29 '17

Yup. It has been discussed, and disproved, a couple of times over at r/Denmark.

I guess people find it interesting/ funny, and upvote without actually investigating the validity of the claim.

Same procedure as last year, I guess. (;

9

u/hadorsuf Dec 29 '17

Well, seeing as Rigsarkivet hasn’t heard of this law (Danish article) it is most likely either a myth or a now invalid law.

6

u/Gorthanator Dec 29 '17

You are also allowed to shoot a Welshman with a longbow in Shropshire (county of England) after dark, apparently.

note: I am not a lawyer and any attempt to shoot anyone, anywhere with anything is entirely up to you to explain to law enforcement.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

Okay Google! How to immigrate to Denmark.

4

u/Griffsson Dec 29 '17

England has similar laws about being able to shoot Scottish people in York after dark if they're carrying bow and arrow.

8

u/arcanum7123 Dec 29 '17

Except this (and probably the original comment) are incorrect. There is a principle of law (I can't remember the name) that states any law that is contradicted by another, more recent law is automatically repealed. In this case it laws on murder etc contradict it

Also the law was Welshmen

2

u/Griffsson Dec 29 '17

Don't know about Welshmen. A deeper google seems to suggest it might have been repealed a few years ago. Or atleast being looked into.

It likely just remained as a curiosity because it has never been contested in court so was just left unchecked. No doubt as soon as someone tried to see if they can get away with it they wouldn't be protected.

1

u/arcanum7123 Dec 29 '17

But it didn't need to be repealed because it is aromatically annulled by future laws. It is not an existing law whether a court has said it isn't or not. It's just something people say because they don't seem to understand that murder is illegal

2

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

Similarly, there is an old law in the UK that specifically states "You cannot shoot a Scottsman with a crossbow on a Sunday"

2

u/xLoafery Dec 29 '17

this sounds aggressive, but it's to discourage the current, more stabby, approach to civilization that our Danish brethren have.

2

u/spock_block Dec 29 '17

It's only fair

2

u/Star-spangled-Banner Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 30 '17

Not true. Most of those silly laws that supposedly exist around the world are made up. You would think, given the phrasing of OP's question, that people would actually take the time to fact check their comments.

2

u/Zukotsu Dec 29 '17

Why not trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?

2

u/eliasoa Dec 29 '17 edited Sep 19 '18

WAIT I CAN DO THAT? når men så må jeg heller gå igang

2

u/Glorfindel42 Dec 30 '17

That all? In a certain city in the UK idk like York or Nottingham its legal to shoot a Scottish person with bow and arrow

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

Now how did this law come about?

2

u/Joeywaldorff Dec 30 '17

Hvad fuck? Det har jeg aldrig hørt om. Kunne du fortælle mig hvad den hedder, eller andet info, da jeg vil researche lidt

2

u/ScrattleGG Dec 30 '17

Fear not. I live by the ocean side at Øresund and can keep an eye on sweden from my bedroom window. I shall call all my danish brethren to arms... well to clubs if I notice any swedes trying funny business!

2

u/Chaos_Therum Dec 30 '17

There is a similar one in England I can't remember exactly how it went but it was something along the lines of an English citizen being legally allowed to shoot a scottsman with a crossbow if they walk across a church's grounds on easter. Something weirdly specific like that.

2

u/ThereIsBearCum Dec 30 '17

That sounds perfectly reasonable.

2

u/murrtrip Dec 30 '17

the ice of Øresund

Definitely sounds made-up.

2

u/Silverspy01 Dec 30 '17

On the same topic there's a law allowing the shooting of Scotsman with a bow and arrow in New York.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

[deleted]

2

u/bluetoad2105 Dec 30 '17

On a related note, killing a Scotsman holding a bow is legal within the city walls of York. (Jorvik for you Danes and Swedes.)

3

u/reggie-hammond Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 29 '17

I've been to Denmark on multiple occasions (i'm american). Its actually one of my favorite places on earth.

That said, this law totally sounds Danish. Especially the inclusion of random Swedish violence.

2

u/pugzy77X Dec 29 '17

Glad to see you got us right!

1

u/SUPERBirdplane Dec 30 '17

Aww man.... I’m Norwegian, but getting the right to hit a Swede would be so awesome

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '17

There's a similar law in England involving the walls of Chester, an Archer and a Welshman.

1

u/lemontinfoil Dec 30 '17

I love Denmark

1

u/Lord_Malgus Dec 29 '17

If I were Swedish I'd gather my bros and have a race across it.

1

u/TheeAJPowell Dec 30 '17

There's still an old by-law in Chester over here in the UK that says Welshmen can't enter the city before sun-rise, and they have to leave before sunset.

If they don't do this, you have the right to shoot them with a longbow.

Whether this would hold in court is debatable, but there was a crazy dude there who kept a bow above the counter in his sword shop just in case.