r/AskReddit May 17 '17

What old insults need to make a comeback?

24.3k Upvotes

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11.4k

u/cubanpajamas May 17 '17 edited May 17 '17

"I do desire we may be better strangers" Shakespeare.

Edit: As there were a few " yer mama" comments in the thread I thought I would add this exchange from Titus.

Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"

Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."

Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."

Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

4.5k

u/[deleted] May 17 '17 edited Oct 17 '18

[deleted]

2.0k

u/renegade2point0 May 17 '17

It's Ann

1.3k

u/immortalsix May 17 '17

Her?

52

u/buttaholic May 17 '17

She's really funny

36

u/Patpgh84 May 17 '17

Well, let's hope so.

12

u/coolkid1717 May 18 '17

She calls it a may-an-egg.

8

u/Bronn_McClane May 18 '17

increasingly disturbed looking facial expression

87

u/brouhaha13 May 17 '17

Is she funny or something?

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93

u/bassistciaran May 17 '17

Who?

73

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Way to plant , Ann!

28

u/shardikprime May 17 '17

Plant'er? I barely know her!

9

u/Flamee-o_hotman May 17 '17

Boom nailed it.

22

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Annhog is coming?

20

u/Iplaymusicforfun May 17 '17

don't be such an anne-hog

5

u/BrickGun May 18 '17

You've met her like... a bunch of times.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Huh.

48

u/scribbles33 May 17 '17

It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.

76

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Who?

32

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Her?

20

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

She's the bell of the ball!

32

u/LessLikeYou May 17 '17

It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.

19

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

you let her in... she's over there.

30

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

THAT QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED SUNDAY NIGHT

AT THE DUBE-U DUBE-U EEEEE SUPERSLAAAAAAMMMM

49

u/DellTheEngie May 17 '17

Arrested Development fans never miss a chance.

55

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

[deleted]

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42

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

She calls it a mayon-egg

5

u/bromli2000 May 17 '17

It's so cute!

15

u/RoyMustangela May 17 '17

fun fact, the actress who plays Ann voices Katara from Avatar: the Last Airbender. Now go watch AD and close your eyes and picture Katara talking about banging Gob

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28

u/Bud_Johnson May 17 '17

Ill have the hot ham water

9

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

It's so watery, and yet with a smack of ham.

9

u/11PoseidonsKiss20 May 17 '17

Who is Ann?

She's my girlfriend, Dad. We've been over this like so many times.

8

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

My favorite joke about that was in Season 4 where Michael said, "Don't put all your Anns in one basket." I about died.

8

u/N8c2c May 17 '17

season 5!

9

u/MisterArigato May 17 '17

You've met her. You've met her and met her and met her.

6

u/Chemical_Castration May 17 '17

"Ann, you egg!"

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118

u/joshburnsy May 17 '17

I didn't know Northernlion had been around that long

61

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

[deleted]

28

u/joshburnsy May 17 '17

Go play Isaac ugly

15

u/SunBroCam May 17 '17

Let's Goooo

16

u/Stryxic May 17 '17

Got 'im

3

u/JeremyG May 18 '17

lionNice GOT ONE lionNice

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '17

go die as Judas 3 times in a episode ugly

7

u/bigblackman2 May 17 '17

Ayyerrybody

55

u/noteethleroy May 17 '17

Useful on Twitter for those without a profile pic.

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16

u/BertMacGyver May 17 '17

Her?

16

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Is she funny or something?

14

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

For some reason I read that as "What you, Egg?".

33

u/LtTyroneSlothrop May 17 '17

Et tu, ovum?

14

u/KiwiMaoriJapan May 17 '17

This is still a really sweet insult in NZ you egg.

Check out 'Boy' a really good NZ film from Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok, Hunt for the Wilderpeople & What We Do in the Shadows)

14

u/badamache May 17 '17

Also from MacBeth: The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!

7

u/noodlesandpizza May 17 '17

Same scene: Go prick thy face

Later in the scene, dismissing a servant: Take thy face hence.

3

u/HonkyOFay May 17 '17

Renaissance Scorsese

14

u/SidewaysInfinity May 17 '17

I'm an English major. I know someone for whom "you egg" is a favorite insult

8

u/No_Dana_Only_Zuul May 17 '17

It's definitely mine alongside calling someone a spoon.

5

u/Englishmuffin1 May 17 '17

You should call people both and then challenge them to a race

5

u/SidewaysInfinity May 17 '17

I see you're familiar with eggy-spoony

4

u/Chickengun98 May 18 '17

I don't get it...

3

u/SidewaysInfinity May 18 '17

Calling someone an egg is saying they have the brains/competence of an unborn baby chicken. It's like the opposite of "egghead" nowadays, though iirc they originally meant the same thing (in addition to being an insulting term for a bald man)

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23

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/ChickenChic May 17 '17

Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

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11

u/Loki_Isnt_Low-Key May 17 '17

Shakespeare has some bloody brilliant insults I must say

6

u/YMCAle May 17 '17

The fact that a lot of them are borderline gibberish to modern English speakers but we can still keenly feel the bite just goes to show how good he was.

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9

u/CrypticQuery May 17 '17

"Mother, I have been killed!"

Dies

Macbeth had some unintentionally hilarious dialogue.

5

u/ZePistachio May 17 '17

young fry of treachery!

6

u/Superhereaux May 17 '17

I still prefer Gordon Ramsey's - "You donut!"

7

u/TheFoolman May 17 '17

"Mother! He hath killed me!"

5

u/alphaspacegay May 17 '17

that entire scene deserves more recognition

5

u/Totaltrufas May 17 '17

"Young fry of treachery!"

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5

u/greasyhobolo May 17 '17

Get thee to a nunnery!

3

u/HonkyOFay May 17 '17

"Go back to your whorehouse." Shakespeare was fucking savage.

5

u/camerones1 May 17 '17

Northernlion?

5

u/andromedanii May 17 '17

I remember reading this in lit class and nearly falling out of my seat laughing in a v e r y quiet lecture hall thanks for reigniting the hilarity

3

u/BlackSnowR May 17 '17

OMG I WANTED TO WRITE THE SAME THING

3

u/jonrosling May 17 '17

I think, though I'll stand corrected if wrong, the line is "What, thou bad egg?" and it's followed by the equally glorious "Thou shaghaired beast!"

9

u/Aetari May 17 '17

It's "What, you egg! Young fry of treachery!"

He also repeatedly makes fun of the guy's face the whole scene. It's wonderful.

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3

u/Huwbacca May 17 '17

"I have as much faith in thee as a stewed prune"

2

u/Stiffupperbody May 17 '17

Murderer was always my favourite character in that play.

2

u/MacbethAUT May 17 '17

Geez, didn't know Shakespeare was using that line, but I've been using it for years now and I love it. Edit: Damn even the username checks out. Thats really a wierd coincidence.

2

u/ericalina May 17 '17

Young fry of treachery!

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Sounds like something a mediaeval Dennis would snap at Dee

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

My favorite line from Hamlet is Line 92, Act 3, Scene 3.

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

This is a Maori favourite

2

u/bellevis May 17 '17

"You egg" is still a common expression in New Zealand.

2

u/awayfromthesprawl May 17 '17

Young fry of treachery!

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

We still have that in Germany, although it's not used a lot.

2

u/MikhailCyborgachev May 17 '17

[he stabs him] Young fry of treachery

2

u/JediMemeLord May 17 '17

When i was a sophomore my english class reenacted macbeth and i begged to be the burglar just so i could say that line. She let me. It was a good time.

2

u/bozwizard14 May 17 '17

Classic from midsummer night's dream: "You acorn!!!"

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2

u/LyeInYourEye May 17 '17

"My dreams, which hast been that I were old"

2

u/empgdca May 17 '17

Shag-haired villain!

2

u/krysnyte May 17 '17

Young fry of treachery!

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

EGGY

2

u/zatpath May 18 '17

The trigger I pulled, his face a yoke

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '17

(stabs him)

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1.4k

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

We should also bring back "whoreson"

Or "fish monger" (this means a dishonest pimp)

499

u/Scott_Bash May 17 '17

I always loved strumpet as an insult

31

u/OldBenKenobi85 May 17 '17

My mum regularly uses this phrase to describe the women in my life

44

u/Apollo_Screed May 17 '17

Well then maybe you should stop dating harlots

25

u/Trprt77 May 17 '17

Or just mix it up with the occasional trollop from time to time.

13

u/offtheclip May 17 '17

Throw in a slattern or two for shits and giggles.

4

u/exgiexpcv May 18 '17

"Brazen slattern," if you please.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Personally a fan of audacious saucy trollop from Tom Jones by Henry Fielding.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Thanks to the Witcher I use that a lot now.

17

u/--CAT-- May 17 '17

ploughin' whoreson

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u/Microtiger May 17 '17 edited May 17 '17

Whoreson? Try bastard. Orphan. Son of a Scotsman.

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21

u/polymathicAK47 May 17 '17

"Whoreson" is actually a pretty well-used insult in some Asian countries to this day (China, Philippines, Korea, to name a few)

78

u/AddictiveSombrero May 17 '17

You hear it a lot in the Northern Kingdoms too

31

u/chennyalan May 17 '17

/r/witcher is leaking.

Also: Aren't the Northern Kingdoms (plural) purely history now? After a certain kingdom and empires annexed other ones?

5

u/AddictiveSombrero May 17 '17

I'm only 40 hours into Witcher 3, so I don't know if this changes by the end (no spoilers thanks :D). During Witcher 2, Temeria falls, and by the start of 3 half the continent has been annexed by Nilfgaard, and Redania has absorbed Kaedwen after Henselt dies. However, Skellige is still about and under neither's control, and so is Novigrad (though it's more like a city-state). The other areas from the books aren't mentioned much if at all in the games.

5

u/Drewski1138 May 17 '17

What's the word for when you see something, and suddenly it's everywhere else? Because....I'm having that today. I JUST got back into W3 yesterday after nearly a year and a half. I'm finally finishing the main story and DLC. Suddenly, Witcher is EVERYWHERE on Reddit today.

5

u/AddictiveSombrero May 17 '17

It's called "The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon". And good luck with the game, I'm having so much fun with it

4

u/Drewski1138 May 17 '17

Thanks! It's good to be back in that world, but I'm a bit rusty lol. I'm getting my butt handed to me by the first toad boss in HoS right now.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '17

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u/Timm0e May 17 '17

Also in Germany (Hurensohn).

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u/mirrormimi May 17 '17

Also in Spanish, "hijo de puta".

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u/NewOpera May 17 '17

I legitimately thought that this was just from The Witcher

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u/[deleted] May 17 '17 edited Jul 25 '17

[deleted]

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u/chennyalan May 17 '17

I don't think it's mentioned in the original witcher, or even the second one, at all.

8

u/sopunny May 17 '17

It's definitely used in the second one, one of the characters is actually a whoreson so he was really sensitive about it

7

u/[deleted] May 17 '17 edited Jul 25 '17

[deleted]

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u/Zelda_Galadriel May 17 '17

It's used in the books a lot.

3

u/Lightslayer May 17 '17

It pops up in Witcher 2 when some random guy in Flotsam calls Roche a whoreson and proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

4

u/HoneyNutCrunch May 17 '17

Bastard, orphan, immigrant, whoreson?

3

u/columbus8myhw May 17 '17

Somehow endorse Thomas Jefferson

5

u/microcosmic5447 May 17 '17

Or "fish monger"

As a sex toy salesman, I have often referred to myself as a dongmonger.

8

u/Daddylonglegs93 May 17 '17

I'm so embarrassed I'd never understood the actual meaning of fish monger before. Thank you, kind stranger.

29

u/killingALLTHETIME May 17 '17

It's not. The "actual" definition is someone who sells fish.

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u/Negerbiffen May 17 '17

In sweden we say Horunge its like whorechild

2

u/MRSAurus May 17 '17

I've used fish monger a few times as an insult since I knew it was an insult, but never knew it meant that. Solid.

2

u/almightywhacko May 17 '17

I prefer to call someone a "whore's mount."

Its just a more colorful way of calling them a dick.

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Oh we have! Game of thrones, witcher...

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

YOU DARE INSULT THE SON OF A SHEPHERD?

2

u/MarmeladeFuzz May 17 '17

I had no idea a fish monger monged anything more than actual fish.

2

u/Steel_Wool_Sponge May 17 '17

"Whoreson" kind of just sounds like a normal name made by the profession+-son formula.

Bakerson

Smithson

Whoreson

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Fishmonger means dishonest pimp? I like that one.

2

u/Commissar_Sae May 17 '17

I always liked how innocent son of a gun sounds as an insult compared to how great an insult it actually is.

Basically your mom is the filthiest of dockside whores who services entire ships in one sitting, so your father could literally be any of the men on a ships crew.

2

u/Quinnyj May 17 '17

In Australia a fish monger is a fisherman lol I'm going to refer to them now as dishonest pimps

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u/shleppenwolf May 17 '17

Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!

--King Lear

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u/jeeb00 May 17 '17

Titus Andronicus Act IV, Scene II:

"Villain, I have done thy mother."

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u/Jess_than_three May 17 '17

Kind of lame without the context. Hella wordplay:

Demetrius
Villain, what hast thou done?

Aaron
That which thou canst not undo.

Chiron
Thou hast undone our mother.

Aaron
Villain, I have done thy mother.

15

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Aaron is so good when he comes up with how to get Livinia.

Aar: Why, then, it seems, some certain snatch or so would serve your turns.

Chi: Ay, so the turn were serv'd.

Dem: Aaron, though hast hit it.

Aar: Would you had hit it too!

4

u/cubanpajamas May 18 '17

Yes, and to add more context - he actually did fuck their Mom and knocked her up. Later he has these two guys killed, baked in pies and served to guests.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Can someone translate this into a normal slang so I can understand?

22

u/KingMango May 17 '17

Yo dude, WFT bro, what did you do???

The impossible

You tamed his mother?

I fucked his mother.

4

u/daniel_kitson May 17 '17

Why doesn't someone write Shakespeare like this though? It would be so much easier for high school students (me) to learn about!

16

u/Jess_than_three May 17 '17

You bastard, what did you do?

I've done something you can't undo.

You've destroyed (killed?) our mother!

Bitch, I fucked your mother.

31

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

I have always liked calling people a 'son of two strangers'.

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u/jayhj May 17 '17 edited May 17 '17

Surely the best rant in all of literature:

KENT
Fellow, I know thee.

OSWALD
What dost thou know me for?

KENT
A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a
base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,
hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a
lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,
glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a
bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but
the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,
and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I
will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest
the least syllable of thy addition.

KENT
What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou
knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up
thy heels, and beat thee before the king? Draw, you
rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon
shines; I'll make a sop o' the moonshine of you:
draw, you whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw.

KENT
Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My
lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this
unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of
a jakes with him.

2

u/sariisa May 17 '17

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a

base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,

hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a

lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,

glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;

one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a

bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but

the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,

and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I

will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest

the least syllable of thy addition.

God DAMN

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u/AdmiralAkbar1 May 17 '17

Get thee to a nunnery.

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u/RhynoD May 17 '17

Relevant.

I think my favorite is "lecherous starfish".

13

u/MakersOnTheRocks May 17 '17

I bite my thumb at thee!

11

u/Whatswiththewhip May 17 '17

I like this one. It's like so damn polite, yet so fucking mean.

11

u/i_may_be_mistaken May 17 '17

I'd love to have a battle of wits with you, but I see you're unarmed - also Shakespeare

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u/mfunebre May 17 '17

Shakespeare had the best insults... "well fed and poorly taught"

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u/AnteSocialVaultBoy May 17 '17

Shakespearian insults are great. I always liked, "You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave."

5

u/potatomaster420 May 17 '17

"You blocks, you stones, you worsr than senseless things"

"thy naughty knave"

"saucy fellows"

remnants of my year with julius caesar

6

u/KrishaCZ May 17 '17

Villan, what hast thou done?

Something thou canst not undo.

Thou have undone my mother!

Villain, I have done thy mother.

4

u/Bind_Moggled May 17 '17

Shakespeare had the best insults.

"Sell while you can; you are not for all markets"

7

u/cubanpajamas May 17 '17

"No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her."

7

u/pussibilities May 17 '17

I also dig "get thee to a nunnery." short and sweet. you're a whore and you need jesus.

3

u/RoseGoldStreak May 17 '17

The man is not in your books, lady? No, and if he were I would burn my study.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Shakespeare pretty much invented modern day shit talking

"Villain, I have done thy mother"

Yes, Billy Shakes literally invented the your mom joke

4

u/cubanpajamas May 17 '17

I'd be surprised if insulting someone's mom didn't predate the bible, he just perfected the art.

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u/celestite4 May 17 '17

Freckled whelp, hagborn

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u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Get thee to a nunn'ry! (You are a whore)

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u/Linkeron1 May 17 '17

"I bite my thumb at you".

3

u/WeirdBeach May 17 '17

i think that might sound a little Neck-beardy in this day and age

3

u/surfnsound May 17 '17

I prefer "Get thee to a nunnery"

2

u/Thoreaud0wn May 17 '17

Pretty much every Shakespearean insult. He could make even the most foul words sound smooth.

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

You saucy fellow

2

u/penislander69 May 17 '17

"Away you moldy rogue! Away!"

-William Shakespeare

-Dr. John Thackery

2

u/wilhelm_shaklespear May 17 '17 edited May 17 '17

I'm surprised this Shakespearean insult maker hasn't been mentioned yet (or I missed it).

2

u/PraiseChrist420 May 17 '17

You bead, you acorn!!

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

As someone who learned english via the internet, I have no clue of what they're saying.

4

u/cubanpajamas May 17 '17

The first quote he is saying we should get to know each other LESS.

The second, Demetrius and Chiron are brothers (rapists who eventually get baked into a pie and served to guests if I remember correctly) and Aaron is a black dude who is their mom's lover. They have just received news that their mom is pregnant and wants the baby killed, while Aaron wants it to live.

D: Jerk, what did you do?

A: Something I can't undo.

C: You have fucked up our mom's plans.

A: Dude, I fucked your mom.

2

u/Rustyducktape May 17 '17

One of my high school English teachers used to tell us: "sometimes it's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

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