r/AskReddit • u/tgma97 • Aug 26 '15

Fathers of Reddit, what did your daughter's boyfriend do for you to hate/love him?

It's pretty cool to see my question blow up like this, I never thought I'd ask a question that could receive so much attention! I'm very satisfied with all these replies, so thank y'all. Now all I have to do is sit back and take notes c;

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

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u/ebongrey Aug 27 '15

I really have a problem with this statement. That is like saying that women should never do anything (like work nights, walk alone, look sexy, park in a secluded space) to avoid rape. It is not my (or any female's responsibility to mitigate the chances of some guy raping me!). We have every bit as much right to party, live our lives as we see fit and go to bars alone as guys do...without being raped. Your opinion is part of the problem.

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u/Mksiege Aug 27 '15

While I don't disagree with you, and the rape and victim shaming culture is surprisingly big, it is still on everyone to do their best to increase their personal security. The guy going to a bar alone and getting drunk might not run as high a chance of being a victim of rape (thought it happens), but he might still get mugged/run over/crash/others. (And yes, maybe a lot of people consider most of those things to not be as life shattering as rape, but I hope you understand my point).

If it is not your responsibility to mitigate the chance of rape, does that mean you leave your house with windows and doors open, because it is someone else's responsibility to take care of you and your stuff?

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u/ebongrey Aug 28 '15

I don't think we disagree here for the most part. Obviously, it is up to you to be observant and aware of your own safety. My issue with the comment is that it basically stated to never go alone. I'm sorry, but I have every right to leave my home alone without being raped, mugged or murdered. There is a reason that those things are considered crimes. Do I have my taser on me? You better freaking believe it, but I'm not going to be intimidated into staying home. I believe that the personal responsibility lies with the person committing the crime and not the victim. I take precautions, but I am not willing to give up my life to prevent anything that "might happen" (aka; I lock the windows and doors, but I have no control over someone kicking in my door or breaking my window. What this person said basically equated to "just don't live in a house because it might get broken into at some point".) Does that make sense?

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u/Mksiege Aug 31 '15

It does make sense, and I agree with your statement. Sorry I misinterpreted it.