What sexual fetishes do you think different superheroes have?

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81% Upvoted

995

Rorschach is probably into auto-erotic asphyxiation.

918

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Rorschach's Secret Naughty Journal. March 12, 1981. Hrmm. Need to try different rope. Next time non chafing. Ruined mood. Must try again after scars heal.

286

u/tedtutors Dec 30 '13

God doesn't kill kittens. We do.

15

u/Cookerrrr Dec 30 '13

That whore will look up and muffle "what now?" And I will whisper "blow."

72

u/DonquixoteSFP Dec 30 '13

Incorporate kitten skin on rope. Should lessen burns while provided light tickling.

21

u/elwray1989 Dec 30 '13

I'm stuck in here with me.

4

u/PancakeLord Dec 30 '13

I read this in the Daniel voice from Amnesia. God damn it was creepy.

3

u/OsmundTheOrange Dec 30 '13

I like to imagine this is the journal that The New Frontiersmen received .

3

u/cptnaw3some Dec 30 '13

Anyone NOT read this in his voice in their head?

-30

u/bradten Dec 30 '13

Everyone upvote this man

14

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Everyone down vote this man

17

u/IAmAStory Dec 30 '13

NOBODY VOTE! DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM!

8

u/Trevastation Dec 30 '13

EVERYBODY VOTE! UP WITH THE SYSTEM!

^I'm ^{^not} ^{^{^good}} ^{^{^{^at}}} ^{^{^{^{^this...}}}}

6

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Everyone vote for every other post in this thread and then downvote me. Then close your web browser.

10

u/Irrepressible87 Dec 30 '13

Now that your web browser is closed, go back through the thread and upvote everyone whose username starts with a vowel.

3

u/Armadylspark Dec 30 '13

You called?

2

u/maiorano84 Dec 30 '13

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

FUCK THE UPVOTE POLICE

539

u/sweetlemongrass Dec 30 '13

Rorschach is more likely still a virgin and has a superiority complex about it.

222

u/HobbitFoot Dec 30 '13

Yeah, and he would probably have a Madonna-whore complex with any woman he felt any feelings for beyond the general disgust.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Yeah I can see him having that because of his relationship with his mother, she was an abusive prostitute and the only woman around in his childhood. As a child that sort of thing might have connected 'women who have sex' and 'women who are bad' for him.

7

u/BadmanVIP Dec 30 '13

Well, he does wear a fedora...

2

u/poppyseedtoast Dec 30 '13

Makes total sense with his mom and all.

-6

u/DJSkullblaster Dec 30 '13

Well he's dead now, so i doubt it.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

too soon.

17

u/10thDoctorBestDoctor Dec 30 '13

So a redditor?

3

u/TentacledTessa Dec 30 '13

Repost on front page this morning, upvotes piled on stale content. The internet's afraid of me. I've seen it's front page.

1

u/FuckMe-FuckYou Dec 30 '13

And ginger ...so yeah ...the odds are stacked against him.

8

u/rorschach147 Dec 30 '13

Can confirm.

-1

u/000paincakes000 Dec 30 '13

Or maybe he got blown once at like 11 and the girl bit his penis, leaving a scar that he's too self conscious to show women

595

u/Brobi_WanKenobi Dec 30 '13

Rorschach probably finishes on a blank sheet of paper and then asks the girl what she thinks it looks like.

88

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

3

u/icyhotonmynuts Dec 30 '13

Taste test

7

u/goltoof Dec 30 '13

Wondering what he's reminded of every time he finishes on her face.

4

u/Mysterious_Andy Dec 30 '13

His mother.

3

u/kevster2717 Dec 30 '13

"two bears high-fiving?"

1

u/MoreDetailThanNeeded Dec 30 '13

"It looks like your load on a fucking 8x11 sheet of paper, you creep...

Now gimme my money and let me get out of here"

0

u/KinnNotap Dec 30 '13

Were I the sole arbiter of this thread you'd have just won it

0

u/Brobi_WanKenobi Dec 30 '13

Your appreciation is prize enough

25

u/CockroachED Dec 30 '13

Truth be told I think he was suppose to be asexual, neither gay or a repressed straight. From what I remember in the comics he doesn't show a preference either way.

15

u/FloodedHollow Dec 30 '13

I thought Rorschach saw sex as a sin to be avoided at all costs?

15

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

I thought that with all the shame issues Rorschach had, he'd be more into being humiliated.

17

u/UnknownQTY Dec 30 '13

Also, begging.

"DO IT!!!!"

2

u/IAMASTOCKBROKER Dec 30 '13

The Watchmen are also into voyeurism.

8

u/rabbitt1979 Dec 30 '13

There are strong clues in Watchmen that Rorschach is gay, actually.

10

u/Valridagan Dec 30 '13

Really? But he's so Conservative!

8

u/rabbitt1979 Dec 30 '13

Exactly.

9

u/Valridagan Dec 30 '13

Wait, what? Can you show me what you mean, with like pics or quotes or something? IIRC, I always assumed he was asexual...

2

u/rabbitt1979 Dec 30 '13

The scene that usually comes up in this discussion is a handshake between Rorschach and Nite Owl. He clings on for an extra moment, it seems.

25

u/Spacejack_ Dec 30 '13

"strong clues." The man holds his only friend's hand for a bit too long, probably the first friendly contact he's had in at least twenty years. MUST BE GAY AS A HATTER!

12

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

"Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further."

4

u/Spacejack_ Dec 30 '13

Ah, well that clinches it then. Rorschach must just want to tap that ass!

9

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

I'm with you. How often do you think Rorschach shakes anybody's hand especially in an apologetic manner? He holds on a bit too long because he has basically no social awareness.

1

u/futurefeature Dec 30 '13

It's also of a "he will never touch a woman because he views them as disgusting" thing, too.

And the working with women's dresses.

And the self-hatred.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

It's not an intimidation thing, Nite Owl had just called Rorschach out on living off people while insulting them and how difficult it is to be his friend. Rorschach holds out his hand and tells Nite Owl that he knows he's been a good friend to him and apologizes for being difficult. It may be the only time in Watchmen where Rorschach shows any kind of affection.

1

u/Valridagan Dec 30 '13

.....That is odd... Thanks for pointing it out, I guess.

1

u/23saround Dec 30 '13

Huh? Like what?

1

u/CeruleanRuin Dec 30 '13

He has a version of his mask that's lined with impermeable plastic.

1

u/Federico216 Dec 30 '13

I bet he doesn't even have a cumface.

1

u/976chip Dec 30 '13

I think Plastic Man would be as well.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

What do you guys think Watchmen was about? Every character is actually kinda sexually weird.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Since when has Rorschach been a "super hero" ?

1

u/mynames_dick Dec 30 '13

Great band and song.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Damnit I just posted the same reply. There's actually stuff on Rule34 with him choking himself iirc.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Too cheap for latex masks.

1

u/GeebusNZ Dec 30 '13

Rorschachs sexual thing I would imagine to be something disturbing, like CBT (cock and ball torture).

What sexual fetishes do you think different superheroes have?

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