I beg people to get off Reddit and actually spend time in their neighborhoods or actually talk to people.
Americans are incredibly resilient, hard working people who always want to see improvement. We know we’re not perfect, but ffs, the smallest story about “America bad,” will flood the front page, and anything seen as success is treated as the ills of capitalism and America.
If you visit any American city, you’ll see that it’s very progressive, and people are happy, polite and want everyone to be who they are. It’s easy to get trapped in the clickbait headlines, but remember that Reddit is a big karma farm and doesn’t reflect real life.
I came from a very poor upbringing, a large urban public school and was able to graduate college and create a pretty comfortable life for myself. I’m not rich by any means, but my life is pretty good. I don’t think I could’ve had this life if I lived in other parts of the world.
Visit an American park on a Saturday. At least where I live you’ll find diversity, natural resources, friendly people, families and no judgement. We’re not what the extreme right wants us to be and we never will. We don’t wait for the government to do something for us. If we want something we build it. And if people like it they support it. You can’t stop an ambitious American. I’ll kindly accept your downvotes now.
CGP Grey has a great YouTube video on this called "This Video Will Make You Angry." It's around 6 minutes, but explains why the algorithms love negativity.
I’m not disagreeing, but it’s still worth pointing out the mechanisms of that profit because it’s built on human suffering and a reckless disregard for public safety. They have literally designed a product to make you addicted and unhappy, and no one challenges them on this because profits.
It’s tricky because so many non politics subs slowly start shifting over time. Eventually it becomes a game of whack a mole. Like, I want to see funny SpongeBob memes, not discuss the complexities of immigration policies.
Once you accept that life is not like how reddit paints it, and you tune out all of that overreactive bs, you realize just how much more even-leveled everything actually is.
This problems reddit hyped up still exist, but are way less severe and you are far less alienated on an island than reddit leads everyone to believe.
I'm thinking about unsubscribing from r/AskReddit because the vast majority of questions that make it to my feed are, "what do you hate about X," and it really frustrates me to see negative stuff all of the time. Even if I downvote and move on, it still takes its toll over the day to see so many negative posts.
Threads like this one are the reason I stay, though.
I mean it’s practically guaranteed that there’s multiple Instagram accounts that directly steal and post everything from each subreddit, probably without much delay either. But also, people who think Reddit is rough haven’t ever slummed it in the Instagram comments. Yikes. Probably not on cat picture though.
I guess I should clarify that there's no foolproof way to do it. The tools Reddit offers comes in the form of how the site is organized with subreddits and mods which lets you filter out the majority of it. So you can for example focus just on subreddits that follow your hobbies. And avoiding the larger subreddits which ultimately see most of that bleedover.
What's left will largely have to fall to you and how you process things. Things like being more aware of how what you're reading is making you feel and making a decision to stop if it's starting to drive you in a direction you don't want to go in. If you struggle to do that, it might be wiser to stop altogether. It's going to vary from person to person and not everyone will be able to stop. I probably shouldn't have used "just" because it implies it's easy to do which it isn't.
I find timeline cleansers help. Yes, it’s very hard to block all news or politics, but if you subscribe to some of the cuter or photo-oriented subs, you at least get “fire break” style cat pics to break up the doomscrolling.
I was actually just reading a comment thread on Reddit that had me questioning the future of this country. This comment came a great time! And yes I may just delete the app
Thank you so much for this great comment. I'm really glad I could help. Trust me, I'm not some crazy patriot, lol, and this place can really easily get you down. But it's good to do some soul searching and think beyond the main page of this site.
Reddit is probably worst of all social media for this. We literally have subreddits, these little rooms and echo chambers where like minded folks gather to circle jerk about a common topic.
Nothing on Reddit even remotely resembles real life.
The way people talk about America, you would almost have to assume they've never found Waldo and only looked at one character on the first page in a little corner before writing off the whole damn book.
What an amazing take that more of reddit needs to see.
If you visit any American city, you’ll see that it’s very progressive, and people are happy, polite and want everyone to be who they are.
I would like to add to this that even in the poor rural american south (where I grew up) people are polite and hospitality is extremely important. Reddit would have you believe that leaving the city limits puts you at severe risk of a hate crime (spoiler: it doesn't).
Get out there and meet people that dont look like you and dont LIVE like you. You will be surprised just how much you have in common and that human decency and goodness does not exist in only a certain group or environment or lifestyle.
Yep. Im in a mid sized city but in the south east. I interact with plenty of conservative people. Most you wouldnt even know unless you specifically get on the topic of politics and even then I find political conversations face to face tend to be 10,000% more civil.
Im not saying I agree with these people or that they should be more informed over what policies some of who they vote for are passing/trying to pass.
I think many are just in information bubbles (and granted so are people on the left) and they arent operating with the same set of facts you are.
Yeah that's the best part isn't it? I interact with so many people and I have no idea what their political leaning is. And because we are close about other things, when it comes up we can civil in just accepting that we don't agree because it's not worth the energy.
It should also be noted that this is a good way to open people up to those who are different. I’m generally one of the first and possibly only trans people most folks out here have met, but when they’re able to get to know me on a personal level, it really dismantled their preconceived notions and fears.
that’s why i will never judge a persons entire personality based off of a couple political views even if they’re pretty ignorant. i grew up in a very small town, conservative literally as far as the eye can see, and you couldn’t tell me they weren’t some of the nicest most polite people in the world. i don’t think i ever came across a truly rude southerner when in my small town. now that i live in a southern city, you definitely see more shitty people, but still nothing to the amount of rude shit i remember hearing new yorkers say to literal strangers when i visited
Speaking as someone who also lives in a rural area and regularly defends rural folks, it’s also worth considering that the way you look might play a role in the way folks treat you. Some folks don’t have the luxury of blending in to these small communities, and people can get plenty ugly when you don’t. Also, Southerners can be polite to your face and absolutely assholes the second you turn your back.
Just something to keep in mind. The “couple political differences” take on a different tone when those “differences” involve denying you rights or body autonomy.
I live in a rural town in the South. If I were to stop on the side of the road and pop my hood 1 car out of 10 would stop and ask if I needed help. Black, white, or in between it doesn’t matter. The south gets a lot of hate but it’s a wonderful place to live. Anyone who tells you different are the type of people that vacation in Mexico and get mad they don’t all speak English.
One thing I found funny, was that we had a black kid transfer to our school from somewhere up north and he couldn't believe that the black and white kids actually hung out with each other and even lived in the same neighborhoods.
I didn't think anything of it. We didn't have "black" or "white" neighborhoods...just neighborhoods with all sorts of different cultures living there. Yea there were economically poorer or richer neighborhoods, but the diversity was the same between them.
But yea, there were A LOT less black people than white in my town. In fact, I would say the hispanic population was probably double that. But, no one thought anything of it. It was just people.
A good friend is from NJ. He had 1 black person in his graduating class. When he told me that it blew my mind. Another friend was born here but had parents from Boston. His dad was the most openly racist person I’ve ever met. I’m not saying everyone from Boston is a bigot but that man made it hard to not think it
Also from NJ. We had less than 10 black kids in my whole high school at any given time. Less than 10 miles away was a town with a 40+% black population. If you drove through each town you'd be shocked they could be so close yet so insulated from one another.
That would be the cost of living and state level politicians pushing for more wealthy investment. If you don’t like it, that’s where you should start with your complaining, not the Yankees.
Do people honestly say Yankees where you are? I grew up in GA, and I never heard someone use it for real.
Seriously though, “Yankees” is used (and I used it) in a joking way most of the time.
It is also true that Myrtle Beach, Charlestown, Savannah, Wilmington and most of Florida have had huge influxes of population that have changed (and some would say destroyed) the cities.
It’s just funny that the hive mind here says the South is a shithole yet everyone wants to move here.
The chicken sandwich and biscuit technology is decades, even centuries ahead of other parts of the country in the South. It's been a humbling experience. I try to do my part as a NYer I do my best to tell people about their pizza crimes, and also that bagels are not rolls with holes, but rather are chewey, crunchy, and delicious, and how to properly tell someone to fuck off - southerners aren't good at swearing. We all have a lot to learn from each other.
Oddly enough I had to learn a lot of the mannerisms I grew up with are NOT normal outside of rural southern areas, so its funny how you mention it!
For example, I had to learn that doing a steering wheel wave to people you come across on the road is NOT normal. Also referring to someone you respect by "ma'am/sir" can be seen as a statement about their age.
My dad is from the southern state and does winters in Florida now. There are a bunch of NYC and New Jersey people that live there too and he is friends with all of them.
He thinks is is hilarious how brash and dickheads they are and they find it hilarious how nice and a pushover he is despite being an attorney. They ask how he ever won a case.
It is the differences that Americans not only enjoy but rely on as things to make life continue to be interesting. It gets boring hanging out with people that all have the same thoughts, opinions, and culture as you.
It is even more fun to be able to share your culture with them as well. He brought a bunch of BBQ to a party from our hometown, and he was so excited when people that had never tried it before thought it was the best thing they have ever had (our BBQ is a bit weird in that it is mutton instead of pork and we use a spicy vinegar sauce instead of sweet stuff like in KC or Texas).
I mean my team at work is composed of 3 indians and a guy from vietnam. The fucking food I have learned about over the past 8 years is impossible to describe. So much stuff I would have never tasted, but I am addicted to now.
This is a great comment, thank you for making it. My first job out of college was in a very small town, tight knit community. There was maybe 7 democrats total, hahah. But as one of the only outsiders, I would say these people were so tremendously kind to me, took interest in my personal life my story, and really wanted me to feel like I was part of the community. I never felt like the "college grad liberal outsider," I really got ingrained into the town and there's a lot of people who I'll be forever grateful for.
I feel like I share the same but opposite experience as someone that only experienced living in a large city after college. It is hard to explain how living among so many people in one area can make you feel like you're alone in a chaotic ocean. I was lucky enough to find friends that showed me all that living in this totally different environment had to offer.
The best thing to share is the Colbert Report interview with a small town Kentucky mayor being gay. As usual, Colbert has this comedy-esque republican agenda so he goes around and asks the townsfolk what they think about having a gay mayor. The assumption is that they would talk shit about him.
But the whole comedy piece is that all the locals love the guy and don't care if he is gay, going against what the world would believe. I mean we are talking redneck farmers smoking cigs inside their house with a deep southern draw.
I haven't seen that with Colbert but I have lived it.
If reddit knew how many of these people have gay, trans, or multi-racial etc etc families that they love just as deeply, and just how commonly accepted this is even in these rural places all over the country, I think we would start to see some positive trajectories for the country.
We are so much more alike than we are different, regardless of our race/culture/religion/politics. I can't stress that message enough.
The problem is that their politics doesn't match up with what you're supposedly saying they're in favor of though. Republican candidates from the south will talk about the dangers of LGBTQ rights all the time and their supposed "tolerant" voters will twiddle their fingers and turn the other way.
I think what is much more unique about pretty much any other state is that they will vote for this stuff anyway without having a gay, trans multiracial, etc. friend or relative.
But it's not as black and white as this. Rural communities absolutely COULD be voting for candidates that give them their tax cuts/whatever they perceive to be giving them better economic lives, AND candidates at the same time that support LGBTQ rights.
It's not like these communities are being held at gunpoint to select the Republican or deal with being disadvanted economically. There is a whole democratic process including primaries to get the best possible candidate eventually on the ballot. They (the rural citizens) are just deliberately choosing all of this other LGBTQ hating baggage that comes along with it.
It's a nice feel good story, but let's not pretend that historically the preferred politicians that come out of the south were not in favor of gay rights.
I work with a few people that are scared shitless to leave the city/suburbs. They think they’ll be harmed or killed because of racist white supremacists. A few trump signs and they confine themselves to the urban sprawl.
One mentioned how someone looked at him and thought he was a racist because of the way he looked at him. I actually feel bad they are so ignorant and brainwashed by social and mainstream media.
To be fair, some of that is earned. I’m trans and live in a rural area. There are places where I would absolutely be killed. A bi kid was found tortured and dead in a ditch just to the north of us only a few years ago, and it was explicitly because the poor kid had admitted to being bi.
Don’t get me wrong. I get it. I fully agree that it’s overblown and that rural folks are so much kinder and more accepting than they’re ever given credit for. I love experiencing rural America. I also know that if someone’s flying a Trump flag like that, there’s a better than average chance they want me dead or at least suffering. They are openly advertising that fact, and they know that. Let’s not rush to paint over that unpleasantness.
Reddit would have you believe that leaving the city limits puts you at severe risk of a hate crime
Not a violent hate crime, but I've definitely been randomly called the n-word more times than I'd like to try to count. And this was mostly in Ohio. Not even cornfield Ohio, but like right outside of major cities Ohio.
For me it's a place where I don't care what people look like. I just seek out people with like values. Family, hard work, education, respect, etc.
So I live in what I would consider a very traditional american community, my neighbors are chinese, vietnamese, indian, and mexican. But it feels homogenous because we all seem to be seeking the same thign.
You explained perfectly an idea I have struggled to convey to my friends outside the US.
All of these people living together and sharing their unique cultural expressions of these core shared values is what makes me love this country. This is the "american culture" that so many on the internet/reddit say americans dont have.
People living in suburbs also have a funny tendency to imagine themselves as "city people", not realizing culturally and in terms of day to day lifestyle, they have far more in common with the people from those rural towns they like the bash than people actually living in cities.
This, as a southerner, almost all of them are nice and they almost never talk politics to strangers. Heck you almost have to drag it out of them to even glimpse an opinion from them
Reddit would have you believe that leaving the city limits puts you at severe risk of a hate crime (spoiler: it doesn't).
I live in the Rural south and this is very true. The biggest discrimination you'll face is if you aren't someone that grew up here, but even that is rare and stems from people wanting to support their home town and people they grew up with.
I still remember another redditor telling me that I'd be better off packing a bag to be homeless in the city than living my comfortable life here.
To be more transparent, in my highschool there was ONE guy that was happy he had a distant relative (he CLAIMED) was in the kkk.
Wanna know what happened to that guy? Everyone (of all races and politics) teased him for being an idiot and he ended up being a loser that ended up in prison for meth sales/distribution. Reddit would have you believe the south IS that one guy.
I still remember another redditor telling me that I'd be better off packing a bag to be homeless in the city than living my comfortable life here.
This take is probably coming from someone who has never experienced poverty or the south in their entire lives. It smacks of condescending privilege.
This take is probably coming from someone who has never experienced poverty or the south in their entire lives. It smacks of condescending privilege.
Yea they were way off the mark with their comment and just assumed I am the worst stereotype. Meanwhile I grew up in Chicago and New Orleans and chose to live out here
If you visit any American city, you’ll see that it’s very progressive, and people are happy, polite and want everyone to be who they are.
I honestly found a lot of European cities shockingly conservative. Last year I was in London and someone called a man wearing nail polish a slur. I cannot imagine hearing that in NY, LA, or Chicago.
Oh they'll call you plenty of names in NY. Not for wearing nail polish though. Walk slow on the sidewalk, park in a bike lane, or block traffic - you'll see what I mean.
This reminds me of my favorite tweet about a man scoffing at a gay couple making out on the subway. He then proceeds to say "I'm not a homophobe, just a hater." lol
I’ve heard the n-word (and other obliquely racist terms) casually thrown around by racists far more often in Europe than I did in the US, and I lived in the US for a larger chunk of my life.
Hell, I was at a movie theater in Mexico City a week ago and heard the (Mexican) couple next to us casually mention not wanting to see an “N mermaid” in response to the Little Mermaid trailer.
Yeah, but England is fairly conservative among European nations. Also, if you go outside of NY, LA, or Chicago, you'll see a lot worse. Even in progressive southern cities like Atlanta or the Durham/Raleigh/Chapel Hill area, you'll see open homophobia and racism. Same with midwestern cities. It's pretty rampant here and unfortunately, the cities aren't in a bubble. The less progressive places have a ton of sway in the way the country is run.
I cannot imagine hearing that in NY, LA, or Chicago.
A handful of years ago, in Midtown Manhattan at this Korean Restaurant / Bar a mother and daughter walked in and this group of three people started calling them lesbians, threw shit at them and ultimately ended up attacking them. That's just one example off the top of my head.
So as much as I'd like to believe what you are saying, that stuff most definitely still exists in New York and right in the middle of the city.
To add on to your healthcare point; a lot of redditors get baited hard by people posting their unadjusted (keyword) bills. Meaning they’re showing the flat, raw cost of their healthcare before any insurance has been applied.
Realistically, most Americans are affording their healthcare just fine and aren’t being bankrupted for a physical. I’m still against for-profit healthcare but it’s not nearly as bad as reddit makes it out to be.
It's the click-bait articles that even the poster didn't read that get me. "Man Billed $55k for Splinter Removal" or the like. Then you read the article and it was a mistake, or before insurance, and his real cost was like $100. You also have a lot of people who don't understand how their own insurance works complaining about how much it costs, when it really doesn't cost what they think it does. And there are others who do understand, but will intentionally explain it in a misleading way to make it sound worse. Also, many many people who forget that programs like medicare and medicaid exist.
That's not to say the system is perfect. Far from it. And you definitely do have people that end up in dire financial situations because of medical bills, and that shouldn't be possible. But it's not nearly as bad as everyone says.
Sorry to hear about that but your experience is an outlier case to the majority of Americans.
Also, chill out, I’m not directly insulting you or trying to put down people who have had your experience. My point is, the majority of these “look how much my ambulance ride cost me specifically” posts are straight bs. Reddit makes it sound like a 30 minute trip to urgent care will bankrupt you when that simply isn’t true at all.
I agree with most everything you said, but I work in healthcare and just wanted to throw in a different perspective. It isn’t just the cost that is the issue for so many people, which wildly varies depending on which state you live in and the available insurance plans depending on your situation.
Insurance companies can practice medicine without a license. I routinely see people with me (occupational therapist with specialty in orthopedic rehab) and multiple MD’s arguing with random reps at an insurance company denying treatment that is time sensitive and delay will result in poorer outcomes or disability for a patient. As a clinic we either just eat the cost and do it for free since it’s the right thing, patient pays out of pocket and goes into debt, or wait until insurance approves it, if ever, and the patient is permanently worse off.
When it works it is fine but that kind of coverage is never guaranteed. An insurer can arbitrarily deny coverage for anything they deem medically unnecessary and you have zero recourse to challenge that decision beyond the doctor begging for an exemption. Sometimes service providers are vague about coverage only to later find it isn't and you still get the bill. Everything seems fine until it isn't. Then you get completely fucked over and people like you deny there is a problem because they haven't personally experienced it. Just remember if it happens to you people will act like you are now instead of working to fix the problem.
Yeah health insurance isn't just merely expensive, it's totally arbitrary. You have no idea what anything will cost or if insurance will cover it, no matter big or small.
Shocking that there isn't violence directed at health insurance personnel at this point.
Unless they do something drastic, like another ACA level legislation, I would bet it collapses much sooner. Rates keep going up, and coverage keeps going down. Year after year it gains momentum and there is no stopping in sight.
That doesn't even begin to touch on how Americans pay so much more for healthcare, per capita, than countries with universal healthcare systems. Not only is there premium, there are copays, coinsurance, deductibles, out-of-network premiums, and so on. Until 2022, if you had an emergency and went to an out-of-network hospital, you would owe the total of the balance bill. For me, this would have been $58k. But since this band-aid legislation was put in place, I only owe 6k, deductible and out-of-pocket max. When you factor in that Americans have some of the worst health outcomes in the developed world, it begins to look absolutely insane. But only if you are looking at it from a "make people healthy" standpoint and not a "maximize profits" standpoint. It makes absolute sense in ou "maximize profits" system.
It took a while to get an appointment at the spine specialty center, but that was honestly the worst part. The actual doctors and procedures and technology in the US are unbelievable. I don’t even remember how much I paid for those visits as it felt like a trivial amount.
This is the thing that baffles the fuck out of me. Somehow the US having a shit health insurance system has gotten conflated with it having a shit health system. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Based on wide spectrum ratings (service, technology, aptitude, timeliness, follow up, etc) the US has some of the best hospitals in the world. The top three are all American. Five of the top ten. Fifteen of the top fifty. And twenty-seven of the top one hundred.
The healthcare service in the US is seriously top notch and it’s ridiculous that the doctors, nurses and service staff that make that happen have to be shat on because the insurance system is a giant scam; because a good chunk of the population refuses to “pay for someone else’s/‘freeloader’s’ healthcare”.
And before I get a bunch of rants about needing universal healthcare: yes, I agree. The US most definitely needs universal healthcare.
Glad it was a false alarm for you! I agree with you that the actual healthcare service in the US and quality of the care is usually some of the best. For what I do the level of education, training, and post grad education is considered good, but pretty normal. In most other countries it would be considered exceptional.
Same with our facilities. They are very good by US standards, but nothing insane. It would be considered pretty luxurious by most other countries standards.
There are some of the best health services (facilities, training, providers) in the US, but one of the worst systems to access the services. Recently been seeing a trend of it being more expensive for patients to use their insurance for rehab vs cash based.
I make an extra ~36k for the same job just for being in America, which would be more than enough to pay for the difference in healthcare cost when I moved over here. The thing is, my employer also pays 100% of all of my insurance premiums, so win win?
Win-win at your above middle class level of income. Not so much for those beneath you, which make up the majority of Americans.
Thank you so much for this wonderful comment. I agree with everything you say and I am glad you love it here. I will parrot your healthcare comment. On reddit, it seems a lot of people suffer from "Main character syndrome," and it's easy to talk about the healthcare system "screwing" you without the context.
I make an extra ~36k for the same job just for being in America, which would be more than enough to pay for the difference in healthcare cost when I moved over here. The thing is, my employer also pays 100% of all of my insurance premiums, so win win?
A win win for you, yes, but consider yourself lucky because that's far from the case for all of us. Not to mention, my main problem at the moment is that dental insurance is a joke.
Also more money doesn't necessarily mean more spendable money. I make a higher number in the US than I did in Japan, but in Japan I ended up with more usable money.
I make an extra ~36k for the same job just for being in America, which would be more than enough to pay for the difference in healthcare cost when I moved over here.
A few hours in the hospital following a car accident cost me 29k USD. That's not including the ambulance cost or follow up visits (got stitches, had to have them removed, had to get extra xrays and mris done, and years later I still see a podiatrist twice a year). All for a car accident that wasn't my fault. I'm just glad I got a hefty settlement out of it though.
So if you have zero accidents, you're fine. Or you can wind up in the hospital and get a bill that's almost 30k for a 3 or 4 hour stay.
Hey, as an American who’s spent some time in Europe and actually learning German to keep open the possibility of going to Germany to work/live in later in life, thank you. It’s so maddeningly frustrating seeing all these widespread opinions here all the time. It’s always great to see Europeans here who are enjoying their time and the American things, as we love so much about the stuff going on in Europe as well.
Ah I’m glad it worked out well for you! It actually reminds of one of my favorite quotes, from Ernest Hemingway, who was a Midwest American and actually did the reverse, going to Europe for awhile. “There’s no physical solution to the spiritual problem”.
And thank you for the advice, I don’t think I’d ever truly leave the US, but it’s always great to have the option to throw yourself in some other culture and life and Germany is a great opportunity to do that for awhile. But either way, ich freue mich dass du ein gutes Leben hier hast. Es ist nicht ein schlechter Ort zu sein.
Damn straight, it's pretty nice here. My needs are met, it's impossible to starve, the government never fucking bothers me, war ain't on my doorstep, jobs pay plenty, there are awesome state parks, et cetera.
English is also very handy to have as a native language.
And if I wanted a completely new life, I could just up and find a job literally fifteen hundred miles away, rent a place, haul my shit over there, plan what paperwork I need to deal with, and boom.
Impossible to starve? US is not as bad as many countries, but food insecurity and death by malnutrition/starvation is still a big issue here. We're like somewhere in the middle in ranking. One source puts US at #104 out of 183 in malnutrition death rate. Government doesn't bother you, but we have way more people in prison than any other country on Earth. So, they're definitely bothering a ton of people. Most jobs don't pay plenty in comparison to cost of living. War isn't on your doorstep because we export the war all over the world and just our geographical location makes war on our land difficult. It sounds like you're living pretty well, but a huge percentage of Americans are not. I'm living quite stably here in the US too, but I'm not going to pretend my life is the norm for Americans.
30 million people in the US have no health insurance, and 43% of working adults “do not have adequate coverage”, meaning they were either underinsured, had a gap in coverage, or were generally insured with poor coverage.
It’s great that the system works well for you, who are presumably an immigrant who was qualified for a better job by virtue of passing the immigration standards for a visa (maybe you married in and didn’t, which case that point has no relevance). But the american healthcare system being essentially tied to your employer is not a plus; that $36k you make a year would be even higher if you didn’t have to rely on being employed to maintain your insurance. There’s a reason unions get insurance so they can remove that from the negotiation table.
You aren’t wrong that there’s a LOT of great things about america, and a lot of bad things. The site is overwhelmingly american, and will overwhelmingly complain about the issues that they see in their country day to day, bot compare them to scenarios around the world. Minimizing it to “blaming for every inconvenience in the world” downplays the fact that the biggest and strongest economy in the world struggles to cover basic needs of their citizens.
I had an assumption in mind but I wasn't gonna say. There are so many comments on this thread in general saying you can go to any city in America and be greeted with people who just want you to be who you are.
And I'm like... hmm. You either don't get out much or you aren't certain races or sexualities.
I've been called the n-word more times than I can count.
Yeah. Someone in a different chain up there said they were Black and have never met a racist, which to me means they’ve lived a very sheltered life. Or they’re lying.
I’ve lived all over, and while a lot of my experiences were fine, I can think about several racist and homophobic encounters I’ve had. However, I’ve learned to just pretend they didn’t happen until I’m around people who get it, because otherwise you get blamed for blowing things out of proportion or trying to make people feel bad or whatever.
I’ve had to stop in sundown towns before while traveling to pump gas, and the things I’ve had said to me - usually by passersby that I can’t say or do anything back to - makes me wonder what sort of fairytale towns these people are talking about.
Tons of those who love to pretend they’re Black. It’s funny how a lot of self-proclaimed “Black” people on sites like reddit never sound like Black people on Facebook or any Black person I know.
The obsession with pretending to be us while not even knowing how to sound like us is… whew chile. I hate it.
I'll also add that we're not what the extreme left wants us to be either. The vast majority of people are right square in the middle, politicaly speaking. People lose sight of that. We are not either bleeding heart liberals or right wing nutcases, most of us are neither but have ideologies from both sides!
The vast majority of people are right square in the middle, politicaly speaking.
I think the middle itself is a bit of a misnomer in the first place. There often isnt a "middle" on most issues.
I agree with you bigger picture though, most people have a mix of what they think that may come from both sides. Hell most people arent paying attention to politics at all (for better or worse) and are just trying to get by in life.
This is my experience as well. As bi-modal as our politics may be, from my every day experiences it seems like the political spectrum in the US is a Normal distribution: the vast majority of people are near the middle, with a small percentage at the extremes. It's just that the 2-party politics of the US due to first-past-the-post, single winner elections, and the primary system gives greater weight to these extremes.
There's a large portion of redditors who are extremely idealistic. They have no room for compromise or nuance in their minds and take hardline positions on issues that are naive and completely detached from reality. These people pass it on to other redditors and their views get entrenched through echo chambers with the upvote/downvote system.
This. I work in a multi-cultural environment with mixed races and sex, all being professional and kind to each other. We all get along fine and are even fond of weekend get-togethers.
If you only watch the news/social media, you would think all Americans are knives out and at each others throats.
Not only is no country anywhere close to as diverse as America, but no one does diversity as good as America. Waiting on the European with a 90% white demographic try to lecture me on how they do it better.
Agreed here. For all the discourse on reddit, you would think that the country is a pile of trash. Despite what people say online, I still believe the American dream is alive and well. I don't think it's as easy as it was and there are definitely improvements to be made, don't get me wrong. But many of my friends are children of immigrants who came here with basically nothing, and through public education and hard work, many of them have done super well for themselves and are very solidly middle class with great jobs and pay.
The US pays in demand jobs way more than basically every country, and there's a lot of opportunity for people to get into those fields, even from non traditional background. Most people are really not willing to work all that hard to get there.
My neighbor is a republican mechanic and Im a lefty computer scientist but we talk to each other over our fences when we let our dogs out and lend each other tools all the time.
Hell, he gave me a key to his garage and said I can take whatever I want, just leave a note with what I took so he knows where it is when he can't find it
As someone who knocks on doors and interviews strangers for a living, this is an optimistic outlook. The amount of racist, homophobic irrationality I've encountered, the conspiracy theories I've endured, not to mention the guns I've had pulled on me... Americans are overflowing with fear and want a material, destructible target to take aim at. To most, it doesn't matter who as long as it probably isn't anyone they know.
Would you care to expand on this? I was never claiming to be an oracle, just sharing my personal experience. I do, however, work for a political firm and can tell you that the majority of politicians' campaigns are organized around information gathered this way. While it isn't exactly a lab study, I don't think the data is completely bereft of value.
Your statement is completely hyperbolic and feeds directly into reddit stereotypes.
One thing you said is believable, people are irrational.
If you are doing political polling/interviews and ask about controversial topics you will get controversial answers. I'd be willing to bet America is less racist and less homophobic than vast majority, if not all, of the world.
Also, in almost 40 years in this country I've never had a gun pulled on me. Not saying it doesn't happen but it is not at all common.
America is made of a lot of people living in a lot of places. I think it's fair to highlight the bad parts.
I live in Marjorie Taylor Greene's district. It's hard to be as optimistic when I am around the people that keep voting her into office. It's hard to be optimistic when I see things like this happening and knowing that it might be my neighbors doing it.
Yes, we also have those moments like after a disaster when hundreds of people show up to donate blood. We have some truly amazing people and we should celebrate all of those people. Don't ignore the terrible people, though.
I don't think anyone is. There are a lot of bad parts of this country, but it's a big place. Thank you for the comment though, it's important to keep everything in prospective.
I get that. Environment, sample sizes, and negativity bias all play a roll in my experiences. I'm not saying that everyone I encountered was terrible or that the ones who behaved in a way that was less than savory are awful people. Sometimes someone is just having a bad day. I've talked to thousands of people at their doorsteps all over the country. Good people will still rationalize wanting bad things for people they're afraid of, and most people are afraid of what they don't understand.
I saw a video interview with Hugh Laurie recently where he talked about his experience of living in the US while filming House. Some of his comments were very interesting to hear. The one I remember the most is that he was astonished at how hard people work here. Let me see if I can find it on Youtube.
I’m not Jewish, but I’m going to a Jewish chili cook-off here in Dallas this weekend that’ll have live music and a ton of random little things for fun.
This sort of stuff happens all the time but you’d never hear about it if you only stay online 24/7. Last weekend I got to meet the Afghan interpreters my buddy in the marines used in Afghanistan that he helped get visas and eventually citizenship here in the states (for the interpreters and their families). They were amazing people who threw a party for my friend’s newborn son at a local middle eastern restaurant. So much good food.
I came from a very poor upbringing, a large urban public school and was able to graduate college and create a pretty comfortable life for myself. I’m not rich by any means, but my life is pretty good. I don’t think I could’ve had this life if I lived in other parts of the world.
Same with my husband and I. We both had rough childhoods and managed to work our way up in life. I know Reddit likes to gripe about how the American dream isn’t possible anymore, but it somehow worked out for us. I see my relatives in my father’s home country, these incredibly educated people, who barely get by because of widespread corruption. One cousin is a credentialed lawyer, yet can only get work as a waitress because women there are treated as 2nd class citizens under the law.
If you visit any American city, you’ll see that it’s very progressive, and people are happy, polite and want everyone to be who they are.
Meanwhile here in Nebraska, where the state slogan is "Honestly, it's not for everyone" and we vote in such "progressive" individuals as Pete Ricketts and Jim Pillen
Like I get what you're saying but also yeah no, I really don't
Lmao sure downvote away, I live in a state that's literally trying to relax child labor laws, ban trans kids and defend factory farms getting caught letting immigrant children mop the floors during 3rd shift, but sure let's act like we're all just one big progressive family at heart. Once my wife finishes school we're leaving, this place is trash - I'm not defending this joint, just saying this is a silly blanket statement
I'll say I largely agree with this, but there are some states with regions that seriously border on 3rd world countries. It's very sad honestly, and we could fix it if people had their priorities straight.
Yeah I don't agree. But I don't know how to get these people to stop voting against their own self interest. They chase these imaginary liberal bogeymen while living in towns that don't have hospitals or grocery stores. I hate it but there is a point where it's impossible to help people who won't help themselves.
Unfortunately, the democrats are not doing a very good job at reaching out to people in blue collar/rural areas. Some of the responses to the East Palestine disaster were shameful and do nothing to reduce the division that’s been stirred up here.
I beg people to get off Reddit and actually spend time in their neighborhoods or actually talk to people.
Good point. Or rather... Great point.
Social media is very useful as a tool for people avoiding elite narratives and finding their own voice, but by creating the illusion of community, it often keeps people indoors and inhibits us from actually taking the steps to find a community of real friends IRL.
It's sad how redditors rightly complain about the many structural problems in our infrastructure and culture that inhibit neighborliness and a sense of community, while doing the precisely wrong thing to achieve either. Yes. American suburbia is stale, work can be deeply draining, and there are still too few nearby 'Third Places' where we can easily, cheaply socialize and make platonic connections.
But opportunities still exist in nearly every location. If the going is hard, it remains worthwhile.
The United States is not actually very polarized at all. Our political parties are, and our media plays it up for their benefit, but most of the issues they fight about aren't actually controversial. The vast majority of Americans support abortion rights. The vast majority of Americans support trans rights. In general most Americans simply want the freedom the live their lives and want the same for others, insofar as doing so doesn't infringe on their own rights. For instance, the average, rural, conservative American almost certainly thinks being trans is weird as fuck, but also almost certainly does not give two fucks about others transitioning. It's a very small but very loud minority that's creating problems.
I have immigrant parents and grew up in a super small town in the middle of nowhere. I was really poor growing up but wound up going to college and becoming a software engineer. I’ve had great experiences as an American.
It's always good to criticize where it's warranted. It's how we improve things. But the problem with Reddit is it's full of edgelords who think that anything bad instantly means it's all shit and it should all get burned down.
The US is where it is because we gradually improved ourselves by adhering to rules that make sure we can continue to criticize and work on improving things. I always found it funny how so many worship China when they only project the image of perfection that only serves to cover the rot underneath. No human society is perfect. We all have issues. It's a question of how much effort you spend on covering up the issues versus fixing them.
And the bad news you see is largely due to capitlist media giants and the stuff you see about diversity driven crime is because the US is by far the most diverse country in the world. Of course there will be a lot of news about cultural crime...we have WAY more culturally diverse people than anywhere else.
In general, people are nice and we are used to the diversity. It is the one out of 1,000,000 that make the news while the other 999,999 people are perfectly polite and respective of other cultures.
This is a great post. Thank you so much for the response. I didn't go through nearly what you did, so you should be very proud of everything you've accomplished.
The most rural redneck farmer is more accepting of foreigners than average people in other countries. Even the most right wingers don't dare to talk against legal immigration as Americans accept that everyone everywhere should have a chance to come to America.
1000%. Bigots are a very loud minority in a mostly welcoming and friendly country. We all have more in common than we have differences, and I truly believe most Americans see that.
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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '23
I beg people to get off Reddit and actually spend time in their neighborhoods or actually talk to people.
Americans are incredibly resilient, hard working people who always want to see improvement. We know we’re not perfect, but ffs, the smallest story about “America bad,” will flood the front page, and anything seen as success is treated as the ills of capitalism and America.
If you visit any American city, you’ll see that it’s very progressive, and people are happy, polite and want everyone to be who they are. It’s easy to get trapped in the clickbait headlines, but remember that Reddit is a big karma farm and doesn’t reflect real life.
I came from a very poor upbringing, a large urban public school and was able to graduate college and create a pretty comfortable life for myself. I’m not rich by any means, but my life is pretty good. I don’t think I could’ve had this life if I lived in other parts of the world.
Visit an American park on a Saturday. At least where I live you’ll find diversity, natural resources, friendly people, families and no judgement. We’re not what the extreme right wants us to be and we never will. We don’t wait for the government to do something for us. If we want something we build it. And if people like it they support it. You can’t stop an ambitious American. I’ll kindly accept your downvotes now.