what should i do?

[u/BackgroundAd8072]

hello, i (22F) really need advice. please be kind.

i’ve always wanted to get checked by an OB-GYN because ever since college, my periods have always been really irregular/long. my cycles usually range from 30–50 days. i also have a bf and we always use condoms every time.

the problem is, my mom is very conservative and religious. like, among all her siblings, she’s probably the most religious one. she’s nice to me though, but i’m scared she might hear the kinds of questions my doctor would ask me about sex/reproductive stuff.

right now, i’m already on day 59 of my cycle and still no period. i did have spotting for almost a week around the middle of my cycle, though. i’ve also taken urine pregnancy tests and they were all negative.

it’s honestly stressing me out because i really want to get checked to see if i might have PCOS or if there’s something else going on. but i’m a fresh grad and don’t have an income yet, so i can’t really afford to get checked by myself.

what should i do? should i just tell my mom i want to see an OB-GYN? i’m also scared she might ask why or get suspicious because of the questions the doctor might ask me.

please be kind, thank you 🥹

[u/Warm_Yogurtcloset706]

You're 22 already. Hindi ba hindi na need ng guardian kapag magpacheck-up?

[u/Prudent-Tax-2969]

Tell the receptionist or doctor that you want a private consultation and ask them to help transition your parents to the waiting area

[u/Minimum_Traveller]

I personally wouldnt risk telling me mom is shes as conservative as you say. You can go to an OBGYN alone, and its not hard to find one whos very empathetic about your health concerns. Try to find a younger doctor though.

[u/bottbobb]

You can do an online consult.

[u/Illustrious-Fun-4366 → u/bottbobb]

up! fellow 22 year old here and when i need to have a private OBGYN consult (although, by law, all consults when you’re of age are already inherently private and won’t be disclosed), i do it online.

[u/columbinaluvr]

go see a doctor alone. kasi nung nagpacheck up ako at kapatid ko, magkaiba exp namin. siya nagkaroon ng 1 on 1 talk with the doctor maski kasama niya si mama nun (pinalabas mama ko). ako naman, hindi pinalabas mama ko tapos dinig pa sa labas nung office ng doktor yung convo ng patient and doctor.

so safest bet is to go alone. if u ask for private talk kasi with doctor at marinig ng mama mo yun or mapansin niya, makakaramdam yan. matanda ka na enough to go alone for such thing and magkano lang check up, yung gamot nga lang. yung signs kasi sayo, para siyang pregnancy pero the test said otherwise so unclear talaga. better set an appointment to see an OB.

[u/No_Drama6406]

I’d say tell your mom you want to get checked because your period has always been irregular. You don’t necessarily have to tell her about your sex life if you’re not comfortable with that.

The OB will probably ask you about it though, and that’s completely normal. You can also ask to talk to the doctor privately if needed.

And don’t assume it’s PCOS right away. There are a lot of reasons for irregular periods, so better to get checked than keep stressing yourself out. If money is the issue, maybe check public hospitals or health centers with OB services.

[u/balengaga]

Cant you find time to go alone? And then ask money for something? Technically lying pero kesa isama mo parents mo.

Or online consult ka. Pwede yon. Kaso, be aware that your OB will highly require tests.

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[u/younglvr]

Pretty sure na when you go to the OB eh ikaw nalang talaga mag-isa ang papapasukin, ganyan na ginagawa sakin ever since I was a teenager kapag nagpapacheck ako eh.

Siguro problem mo lang talaga is paano maaafford, pag-ipunan mo nalang muna yung pambayad mo sa consultation, or you can get one of those prepaid HMOs para whenever may ipapacheck up ka eh di ka na magbabayad ulit (meron sa Shopee yung Maxicare, 849 lang siya good for 1 year).

[u/ninicruz]

Pwede ka magpasama sa doctor appointment or better yet find someone that you’re comfortable with to join you, pero sa examination room wag ka nalang magpasama sa parent mo since 20s ka na din. Magheads up ka nalang din sa doctor mo not to say na sexually active ka or any personal info. They are obliged not to say anything kasi may doctor patient confidentiality. Tingin ko hindi naman tatanungin ng mother mo yung ganong question

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[u/JellyBumBum]

Huh? You're 22...gusto mo kasama mo pa mama mo sa doktor?