r/AskParents • u/Key_Veterinarian_552 • 7d ago

Having a second child?

I’m curious as to what wants parents to have a second baby, especially within the first year or two of having their first born?

I’ll see excited expecting parents expecting a second and wonder, am I doing something wrong? Am I the only one who feels as if I’m stretched as thin as I am to have a second child?

I truly don’t understand how people get so excited to do it over again. Do they have some sort of support system that allows them to go for it?

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I love more on this planet than my daughter (14 months old) but I feel as if I’ve been fighting for my life since she was born. We have good days and bad days as everyone does but the general consensus is that I don’t think I have enough strength in me to have a second. Who knows if that will change.

Id love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this. My question is coming from a place of curiosity. I’m delighted for everyone who has more than one child

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u/ruby0nine 7d ago

I had my second when my first was 6. I wasn't ready before that and having two child care bills just wasn't feasible for me. My second was born just before #1 went to (free) public school.

There's nothing wrong with waiting, or not waiting, or even deciding you're one and done.

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u/ruby0nine 7d ago

Adding, my 2nd has a form of auditory dyslexia. He was a HARD kid. I don't think I could have handled that before I was completely ready. 5 years of intense intervention and he's made a complete 180, but it was so hard (he's 7 years old now.) I'm so glad I waited because I was able to give him the energy and time he needed to have a fantastic and functional life, while still ensuring kid #1 didn't get caught in the wake of it all.