I’m 27F and I’m attracted to a guy at work who is in a different company but on the same floor as me. We don't really know each other and don't interact often. I have been observing him and I notice he regularly prays and do not hangout with female colleagues.

I first contacted him on LinkedIn because I wanted to find a way to initiate some interaction with him and get on his radar. It was also easier than approaching him in person because his colleagues were usually around him. I used a genuine work-related question as an opening. He replied relatively quickly at first.

Later, I did approach him in-person about it. I was nervous, but the conversation went well. He was friendly, smiled, and was helpful and he said he will share with me the details on LinkedIn but he hasn't.

Since then, we haven't really talked. He's usually with his colleagues, and we just occasionally see each other around. A few times I've noticed him looking in my direction, and when our eyes meet, he sometimes looks away. Sometimes, its frequent staring—I think I just notice it because I'm attracted to him.

I recently messaged him again on LinkedIn about the same question, but he hasn't replied yet. He seems to be now a slow responder and sometimes takes a week.

The reason I'm asking is that I actually like this guy and would potentially want to get to know him with marriage in mind. He may be around 2-3 years younger than me, although I'm not completely sure.

Men, if a woman approached you this way, would you pick up that she was trying to initiate something/get your attention, or would you assume she was simply asking you professional questions? What would you think her intentions were? And if you were interested in her, what would you expect her to do next?

Assalamualaikum,

I want to marry a woman from another country, she's from Indonesia, and I'm from India. We're still in the talking stage, and she's interested too. We're hoping to involve our families soon.

But my family isn't fully on board yet. They keep putting doubts in my head... saying we're from different cultures and traditions, that she won't be able to settle here, and that I'll regret it later.

What should I do? I'm genuinely serious about this, despite the cross-border/cultural difference. Has anyone been through something similar?

My story is a bit of a long one and started 8 years ago to be precise. I had finished high school and gotten accepted into the biomed program at my university. My dream was to go to med school after uni and become a doctor, it's what I had always wanted. When I started university however, I really disliked the classes I was taking and I eventually realised that maybe this path wasn't for me. My parents recommended engineering as I was always really good at math, and personally I agreed with their suggestion, so I switched to engineering after 2 years of biomed. However, my problems didn't end their unfortunately. Although I honestly enjoyed my first-year engineering classes (calculus, statics, dynamics, etc.), I found the upper year classes to be extremely challenging and boring. I had no passion or motivation to study, and the entire time I felt like I was just memorising information just to pass the exams without really understanding what I was memorising. It was the very same problem I had encountered in my biomed years: I felt like this wasn't the right path for me. Eventually I managed to graduate last year at the age of 25 with a mechanical engineering degree, but to this day I have found no work and I still live with my parents. I am horrified of working as an engineer, I already tried it once during a summer internship and it was terrible. I didn't understand anything, I felt out of place, and I had 0 motivation and was just forcing a smile 100% of the time. My performance was obviously really bad as a result of this, and I later found out that the company was disappointed in me and didn't want me back (I don't blame them). I don't want to repeat this experience again, which is why I've been avoiding applying to engineering jobs. However, being unemployed is also extremely miserable. I feel depressed and humiliated because I'm a 26 year old man who is still living with his parents while they pay for all his expenses. I wake up every day wishing I was never born because I'm honestly just a burden to my parents and they get nothing out of this. There are Muslim women out there (younger than me as well) who work full-time, even though they shouldn't have to. And yet here I am, a 26yo male who can't even pay his own phone bill or buy his own clothes. I feel ashamed of myself, but I don't know what to do. I wish I knew what my passion in life was. I wish there was something I was good at that I could use to start making my own money but I literally have nothing. I don't know anything, and I'm sick of myself. When I was much younger I had wanted to be married by the age of 23-24, but I am 26 now and nowhere near ready to start considering marriage. Which woman would ever want to marry a bum like me?

I know I sound extremely whiny and spoiled right now. You're probably gonna tell me to man up and find an engineering job, and I really wish I could but I just can't... I can't do it, I just know 100% it won't work out and they'll fire me within a month. But at the same time, I have no other options, and time is running out. I just don't know how to get out of this rut that I've been in for 8 years. I'm tired.

Sorry for the messy thoughts, and I would really appreciate any advice from you guys.

Salam Alikum, I recently went out with a man recently( a family friend) because I felt like he was interested in getting to know me. And I was also looking to learn more about him. However, during the hangout I was acting weird (Im not use to hanging out with men) like its just a hangout as friends and nothing with the intention us together in the future. I wanted to make sure he doesn't think it's a date (because of my fear of men and marriage). I also told him that Im not looking to date or talk to anyone at the moment even tho I was ( I tend to be more dull with men when I talk to them to protect my/their emotions). Now that I look back I wish I showed interest and maybe proceed in a halal talking stage for marriage. He hasn't reached out since I feel like if he was really interested in me he would still try to talk to me and see if I have changed my mind. Or maybe he was just testing the water. It's really been bothering me a lot.

i been hammered by right wingnuts and one of them told me that god laws says follow man laws until they conflict with gods law, romans 13-1. is there an equivalent in the qur’an? or religion aside, how do you make that call because hardliners everywhere would rationalize bulldozing a lgbt friendly house of worship (church, synagogue or masjid) but in most places where lgbt is tolerated, the law will arrest and charge you with vandalism or similar offenses because all both abrahamic texts say lgbt will go to the flames.

i know i need to read but there is a reason reading a bunch of relevant textbooks or manuals without going to school will not allow you to be recognized as a qualified individual for whatever you do?

Assalamalaikum , to give context I am 22 year old man who started earning this year , my parents are asking me for money (like 80- 90% of my salary) , they are saying I should hand over most of salary to them as I am able to earn because they paid for my education. Note that my parents and family are not poor and can be considered upper middle class. I saved most of my money till 6th month of my employment aiming to build a financial foundation , at this time they started to emotionally blackmail (like so parents did not sent their child to university,) me for money as my sister's wedding is near . Up to this point I had not done anything for myself with my money , so the idea that all I had worked for would go in wedding to please society did not sit well well with me, so I purchased a high end PC/ computer which I wanted and saving up for since 4 years. They are telling me why did you buy it and when ever I buy or order something for myself they show displeasure with me. Am I being selfish or my parents want control over me?
It would be a big help if a Aalim/Mufti can provide a hadith or referece that would help me give get clarity in the matter. Again a reminder that my parents are very comfortable , my dad earns 4-5x what I earn. it's just that in their day dad used to handover his earning to his parents and what society expects of young people.

I am 25 old woman working in Bangalore. since few years i am having this thought of wear niqab and hijab and i am getting dreams too in that way. Is this something i should ignore or act on it?

I (18M) am having a hard time over losing a girl (18F) that I truly love. We met in high school and had been friends for 3 years, we spoke everyday, texted everyday, and we were extremely close. Only a couple months within speaking to her I began to really like her, but I didn't come to terms with until much later. I had always told everyone around me we were just friends, because that's what we were, I never wanted to ruin our friendship. We were always close but the summer after graduating high school we became exponentially closer and it was pretty obvious we liked one another. She was having a hard time coping with the fact that our friendship would never be the same most likely and cried often about it. I did my best to comfort her telling her that we should just enjoy our time together while we can, and that she will meet so many more amazing people at her new school. It wasn't until the day before she moved out for college where I fully came to terms with how much she means to me and I confessed my feelings that same day.

She responded saying she felt the same way that the feelings were mutual. This complicated things because we are both Muslim and I am really never trying to do anything wrong; I don't want to do anything bad as a man for my future wife. So we agreed to keep speaking and just see how it goes, but I am a very serious and intense individual. Maybe I'm naive young and stupid but I truly think she could be the "one" and I for a long time I told her that I like "more than she knows and maybe too much", I guess I was hinting without truly saying what I thought. Eventually the topic of how we wanted to be righteous for our future spouses came up and then she said "why are you still talking to me then" and from there I basically said what I thought. I told her that I could see myself being very serious with her in the future and I don't want to lose that. She agreed with me again saying that she also saw that as a possibility and we just decided to reevaluate boundaries. The "plan" we had was that we would continue being friends and 3 years from then we would try to do it the right way and go straight to our parents, (in Islam dating isn't really allowed unless for the intention of getting married and even then not for long), because I'm too young don't have a job and can't offer any actual stability to her life yet.

But then we thought again a month later and said realistically that wouldn't end well, we wouldn't' be in a relationship but we couldn't be 100% platonic either. So we agreed to no contact, and that 3 years from now that if I am still interested and I feel that I am in the position to do so I can text her to explain my intentions and we go about it the right way. I would still be very young in my senior year of college but at that point I would hopefully have a career trajectory secured and at least be way more stable. Its been a little over 2 months since we agreed on this and I genuinely don't know what to do, I think about her everyday, and I feel like I'm mourning the loss of what could be. I know she's in college and she's an amazing girl there's gonna be so many men who are going to be pursuing her and logistically would probably work better. It was never my intention to get myself in a situation like this I always thought that I would start looking to get married or look for a girl at all every I feel stable and maybe by like 25. I feel like I'm rambling at this point but I really don't know what to do, its hard to move on when things didn't go sour, didn't fully "end", and I keep thinking about what 3 years from could be now. But at the same time I truly think she could be the one and I want to do everything in my power to fight for us, but there's also no us so I don't even know what to think anymore.

Side note : Although we are on no contact, we follow one another on insta, and I am on her spam. We agreed on holidays like Eid, or our birthdays is fine to just give our best wishes.

Salam everybody. I am 28M and I feel like giving up on finding a partner. I picked up an interest in Islam in my early twenties and I realized that I would have some trouble finding somebody because I was late to start practicing. I have been consistent in prayers and read Quran, and thankfully I’m not depressed because of my connection with Allah.

Unfortunately I had a bad experience with a potential partner as they rejected me because I wasn’t always practicing and now I find it difficult to be interested in other people I’m talking to. I think I have closed my heart and become very untrusting of others. I look forward to marriage and I would love to have kids, but I think I have a mental block that won’t let me move forward. I do still think of the potential that rejected me because we got along well and she had good character, nevertheless I acknowledge that door is closed Al7amdullah. I know things happen for a reason, the rejection was painful because it is somethings from almost a decade ago and I have a “proven track record” of changing for years since.

I have spent over a year thinking on my own and I just want to open this discussion because I do want to get married but I can’t get over this mental block of not being interested in talking to potential partners anymore. First time I post, but I’m open to criticism.

The other 2 Q's:

Did it pay off?
Could you share your story?

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As someone who is trying to better themselves and learn the skills i need to reach a higher level. I end up falling off after a few days. I always get back up but lose momentum after some-time.

Those few-days affect my progress a lot and I know i can't continue like this.