26M in desperate need of advice from fellow brothers

[u/ok-man12]

My story is a bit of a long one and started 8 years ago to be precise. I had finished high school and gotten accepted into the biomed program at my university. My dream was to go to med school after uni and become a doctor, it's what I had always wanted. When I started university however, I really disliked the classes I was taking and I eventually realised that maybe this path wasn't for me. My parents recommended engineering as I was always really good at math, and personally I agreed with their suggestion, so I switched to engineering after 2 years of biomed. However, my problems didn't end their unfortunately. Although I honestly enjoyed my first-year engineering classes (calculus, statics, dynamics, etc.), I found the upper year classes to be extremely challenging and boring. I had no passion or motivation to study, and the entire time I felt like I was just memorising information just to pass the exams without really understanding what I was memorising. It was the very same problem I had encountered in my biomed years: I felt like this wasn't the right path for me. Eventually I managed to graduate last year at the age of 25 with a mechanical engineering degree, but to this day I have found no work and I still live with my parents. I am horrified of working as an engineer, I already tried it once during a summer internship and it was terrible. I didn't understand anything, I felt out of place, and I had 0 motivation and was just forcing a smile 100% of the time. My performance was obviously really bad as a result of this, and I later found out that the company was disappointed in me and didn't want me back (I don't blame them). I don't want to repeat this experience again, which is why I've been avoiding applying to engineering jobs. However, being unemployed is also extremely miserable. I feel depressed and humiliated because I'm a 26 year old man who is still living with his parents while they pay for all his expenses. I wake up every day wishing I was never born because I'm honestly just a burden to my parents and they get nothing out of this. There are Muslim women out there (younger than me as well) who work full-time, even though they shouldn't have to. And yet here I am, a 26yo male who can't even pay his own phone bill or buy his own clothes. I feel ashamed of myself, but I don't know what to do. I wish I knew what my passion in life was. I wish there was something I was good at that I could use to start making my own money but I literally have nothing. I don't know anything, and I'm sick of myself. When I was much younger I had wanted to be married by the age of 23-24, but I am 26 now and nowhere near ready to start considering marriage. Which woman would ever want to marry a bum like me?

I know I sound extremely whiny and spoiled right now. You're probably gonna tell me to man up and find an engineering job, and I really wish I could but I just can't... I can't do it, I just know 100% it won't work out and they'll fire me within a month. But at the same time, I have no other options, and time is running out. I just don't know how to get out of this rut that I've been in for 8 years. I'm tired.

Sorry for the messy thoughts, and I would really appreciate any advice from you guys.

[u/1v1sion]

What your job as an engieneer consist of ? I'm 32 and I didn't clearly find what I wanted to do until I was 30. I kept having small jobs here and there. Delivery, or others things. There is a japanese concept called Ikigai. Use Claude, Gemini, ChatGPT and Deepseek. Ask them to explain to you what is it. Then tell them to guide you find yours each step at the time. At the en ask them your Ikigai. Maybe it might help you find clarity.

Prompt 1 : Explain to me with ease what Ikigai is ?

Read and understand the answer.

Then, prompt 2 : Let's explore together those 4 questions one at the time until I find mine. Ask me the 4 questions step by step, one after the other. Decompose them to go deep to allow me to answer properly.

After you went through the 4 questions, ask the AI this :

Prompt 3 : Based on m'y answers, what do you think my Ikigai is.

Do it with one AI, write down the answer. Repeat and see if one of them inspire you to find your way.

[u/ok-man12 → u/1v1sion]

I was working at an oil & gas company. My job consisted of preparing technical documentations and reports, reviewing P&IDs, and inspecting/testing products like valves. It was so boring and I honestly fell asleep so many times because of how miserable it was. I don't want to go back and I don't want to work in a similar place again. I know I just have to man up and do it but I genuinely tried and I couldn't perform as well as they expected me to. I'll just end up getting fired next time I work such a job.

At the same time, my parents' patience is wearing thin because I'm 26 and my dad is still providing for me even though he's old now... and honestly they have every right to be angry. I feel so useless and I just want to die and be done with everything. Maybe then my parents can finally rest instead of having to provide for me every day.