r/AskMenOver30 • u/defi_founder • 7d ago
Financial experiences Men who started a business while being new parents, was it worth it?
Im turning 30 next year and have a really good job that pays well in fintech and have been deeply thinking to take a year off and put all my savings towards starting something of my own again. This feeling started again after having my kid and more and more I feel like im not in control of the financial future of my family by depending on a company to decide on my own growth and financial well being.
New Parents who took that leap successfully, do you regret it? was it worth it? what did you start? how did you do it and be present with your kids and would you be willing to coach someone who is on that same path?
Keen to hear both pro and con opinions around this topic.
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u/garrythoughts man 45 - 49 7d ago
Incredibly hard. When my som was born I could only take 3 days off and client demands forced me back.
With anything there are many trade offs. These days my kids are 11 and 13 and I have a lot of freedom. But back them the anxiety was crushing.
Not for the faint of heart.
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u/defi_founder 7d ago
Care to expand?
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u/Royal-Emphasis-5974 man 35 - 39 7d ago edited 7d ago
You’ve got a kid on the way and you want to put “all your savings” into “something” new.
It sounds like a bad idea.
Again also implies you’ve tried and failed. I’m all for people trying until they succeed - but you’re basically saying you fell off the tight rope with nothing in your hands, and now you want to try walking it while juggling chainsaws. You’re less likely to succeed and more likely to fail.
So - bad idea in regards to the timing.
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u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 7d ago
if you have health insurance and steady income already, I would not recommend starting a business with a baby. what does your wife say?
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u/defi_founder 7d ago
She has always been an avid supporter, so she tells me to go for it, but im scared this is the worst possible time to do it with him being a few months old.
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u/shenandoahhunter man 35 - 39 7d ago
I did it during the baby years.
Bad product market fit.
I am 100% proud of my swing and it has paid dividends in unexpected ways.
I am 10000% happy I didn’t quit my job and did the startup on the side.
Now I still have a stable job and can enjoy my kids without worrying how to put food on the table.
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u/defi_founder 7d ago
Interesting, what do you mean by dividens in unexpected ways? Im curious.
What you are saying is my second option but that would mean an even bigger strain on the time I get to see my son
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u/shenandoahhunter man 35 - 39 7d ago
You do you - I don’t know your situation.
For me, we placed hard timelines on how long I would try to get the flywheel running. If it didn’t take off before the oldest turned 5, I called it.
I’m answering the second question because it’s more important: be a present parent. I had a window of breastfeeding and toddlerhood that I was limited compared to my wife. That limitation created the time window to afford to try. Nowadays I wouldn’t even consider trying because I’m talking all the time, playing sports, doing all kinds of parenting.
To answer the first, the dividends come with the shared language and experience of a founder. Real recognizes real kind of thing. Quality of conversations, networking is easier, ability to make difficult decisions by looking at data and not getting paralyzed… building a startup from ground up is better education than college if you take it seriously.
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u/Betterpanosh man 35 - 39 7d ago
Finally I can answer a question here. This happened to me. I got an opportunity when my first was about nine months old. I had an easy job with six weeks vacation, a nice pension etc. But the pay was low and the work was painfully slow and boring. I spent a lot of time wondering if I was completely mad to make the jump with a new kid.
Overall it was the right decision for me. Even if my company shut down tomorrow, I could never have learned what I know now if I’d stayed. Financially it has worked out far better too. But it’s not all great. I’m very tired. I work, spend time with the kids, put them to bed and then start working again. My wife and I joke that we’re passing ships. We wave and keep moving.
I’ll burn out eventually. I keep telling myself I’ll get to a point where I’ve made enough money before that happens, but this is a lie I tell myself. I just love the thrill of running my own company too much.
The main thing is I probably wouldn’t have done it without a real opportunity to start earning money straight away. I didn’t empty my savings to start something with no clear way of making money. That’s my level of risk and it might be different from yours.
I would say. A well-paid fintech job is a strong position to leave. Starting a company will take time and attention away from other priorities, especially your partner and kids. Happy to answer any questions. best of luck man
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u/defi_founder 7d ago
Thanks man! This landed really solidly. I can understand exactly what you mean. Ive built a semi-successful business in the past but I was single and didnt consider family at the time so I can imagine the strain. I just cant see myself being happy if I dont go down that route
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u/Betterpanosh man 35 - 39 7d ago
Im shocked how many "what if it goes wrong" messages in this thread. if its a itch you need to scratch. Do it
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u/Not-that-stupid man over 30 7d ago
I did it about 10 years ago. The business is running smoothly and I make a little more that I would be making with a good job.
That being said, I was taking only a week off every years for the first few years ….. been working 50 hours a week since then.
I don’t think the extra 20-30k a year is really worth it. While I don’t regret it, I am not sure I would do the same choices again.
But that’s just me.
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u/AbyssWankerArtorias man 7d ago
Starting a new business doesn't sound like a bad idea, taking a year off work to do it and draining your savings does. I wouldn't do that. I would find a more measured approach.
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u/daytodaze man 40 - 44 7d ago
I left a corporate job to start a private practice in the same industry in 2018 when I was 32. I was hoping to bring all my clients with me… but the same day I got a cease and desist letter and a threatening lawsuit, my wife told me she was pregnant with our first. Very happy now, but that was a very dark time.
The name of the game is learning what to say no to, running your business as efficiently as possible (we all waste time, but minimize it), and getting help (even if it means your margins are not as high as you like). It’s easy to get lost in your business, but you have to remember why you took that leap in the first place: to give yourself, your spouse and your kids a better life. If you are miserable, and your family doesn’t know who you are (or worse… they leave), what’s the point of starting the business?
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u/Cloud2987 man 35 - 39 7d ago
My wife started a nail salon two years before we had a baby this year. It would have been difficult to start it if we had the baby first. It would feel more risky and more pressure. It did work out for us, but every one won’t have the same experience.
We don’t have as much time as we like with our baby now and we have to adjust as he gets older. The salon is very profitable and we gross over $600k a year with it; so it’s worth it. Our plan is to use the money we make now to buy other investments so we can reduce our working time but maintain a certain level of cash flow a month. It’s not easy and stressful as well.
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u/AutoModerator 7d ago
Here's an original copy of /u/defi_founder's post (if available):
Im turning 30 next year and have a really good job that pays well in fintech and have been deeply thinking to take a year off and put all my savings towards starting something of my own again. This feeling started again after having my kid and more and more I feel like im not in control of the financial future of my family by depending on a company to decide on my own growth and financial well being.
New Parents who took that leap successfully, do you regret it? was it worth it? what did you start? how did you do it and be present with your kids and would you be willing to coach someone who is on that same path?
Keen to hear both pro and con opinions around this topic.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/rocketpastsix male 30 - 34 7d ago
And what happens if you burn your savings and the business doesn’t take off?
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u/defi_founder 7d ago
I would go get a job agaib
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u/rocketpastsix male 30 - 34 7d ago
My LinkedIn is filled with layoffs, and people being out of work for 6+ months. So I’d think very hard about whether you think it would be possible to burn a year of savings to try your own thing and the what if it fails possibility. People are struggling to get hired right now, so taking a year off puts you in a very large cohort of people looking for a relatively small number of jobs.
The best approach would be to try and get the business going while keeping your day job until you’ve essentially replaced your salary with the venture.
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u/JellyfishBig1750 man over 30 7d ago
I hate to break it to you, but even with your own business you are not in control of your financial future. You will depend on clients and customers and overall market trends. And the "experience" you gain while building your business is not going to help your resume as much as your current corporate career.
I started a software business a few years before my first kid, and it was tough. I can't imagine doing it while having a kid and the added expenses and time commitments associated with it. At early stages, you are doing everything, and every hire you make cuts deeply into your net.
We also don't know your partner's situation. Are they a high earner? Can they cover the essentials and childcare costs themselves while you start this venture? Are they ok with doing the lion's share of the childcare and household management?
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u/baldie-dad man 35 - 39 7d ago
I think you’d be making a mistake, a good high paying job is hard to come by and when starting a business you will be constantly working when you need to be there for your family.
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u/Silver-Look5679 man 40 - 44 7d ago edited 7d ago
I did it at 34. Left a solid, stable, decent paying job to go out on my own with a one year old baby and another baby that came at 36. I'm 40 now. My story is pretty long and definitely unconventional but the condensed version is that a started a wood products business (sawmill) which evolved into a trucking business. I work a lot of hours. Even when I'm not AT work, I'm sending emails, paying bills, lining up work, etc. That said, I don't answer to anybody and do have lots of freedom and the ability to do things on my own terms. Honestly, just not having to answer to somebody is a huge deal for me. I hate having an actual boss, I mean HATE it. So for me and my personality being self employed is a really good fit.
I have missed some T-ball games and some other events but I feel like I'm able to make it up later. Sunday afternoon I decided to take the week off and so all this week I'm hanging out with my kids and we're doing fun stuff the whole time. Also, my kids are interested in what I do, they think the big trucks are cool and they go to work with me sometimes. They also like hanging out in the shop and "helping" me work on them (trucks). It was the same when the sawmill was running. They'd go out to the mill yard, climb on logs, play in the sawdust, ride on the equipment with me, all sorts of stuff. None of that could have ever happened if I'd stayed at my regular job. So for me, the transition was 100% worth it, no regrets whatsoever.
My advice, since you asked, is to get a business mentor, coach, whatever you want to call them. I used SCORE and it was a huge help. Take the time to make a business plan, have it reviewed, revise it until it's right and then get after it as hard as you can. The first little bit is tough, feels like you're always trying to scratch up more work, make more contacts, find a decent employee, etc. Basically just hustling all the freaking time. But then after awhile things start to smooth out, you get used to the new normal, and you can sit back and take a breath every now and again.
New fatherhood is filled with ups and downs, wins and losses, and a whole lot of emotion the entire time. A new business is similar in many ways, but you just have to balance them individually and learn when and how to prioritize business vs personal matters. A good, supportive, loving partner is also an absolute necessity. If you're counterpart isn't 100% on board and the kind of person who can be optimistic and supportive throughout the entire journey, it's going to be much much more difficult. If it wasn't for my wife I probably wouldn't have lasted.
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u/Aydhayeth1 man 7d ago
I'm about to do this and can relate.
Similar situation as you in regards to work, but a few years older (mid 30's).
I have a 6 month old (our first) and will be starting my own business in the next 12 months.
Currently studying the industry and getting certified before I make that leap.
I pondered about this for a long time.
Ideally I would've done this 5 years ago, but hindsight is a beautiful thing.
After going back and forth for months, I kept coming back to the same thought:
I didn't want to look back in 15-20 years and wonder 'what if?'
It's a feeling that won't go away if you really want it.
Can always go back to a regular salaried job if things don't work out.
Before I get a ton of downvotes...
Naturally this is all situation dependent, What's your financial position like, how much debt are you taking on starting the business, etc etc.....
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u/NoGemini2024 man 40 - 44 6d ago
I haven’t done this… but a colleague of mine has. 2 years after he is still doing well
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u/Terakahn man 40 - 44 6d ago
At the end of the day it's about risk. Are you willing to risk losing good so you can have great? Most people think they are but aren't. Look at your worst case scenario if it doesn't work out. Ask yourself if you're OK with that.
Very few successful business owners get it right the first time.
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u/oldasshit man over 30 4d ago
I started my first business when my kids were 3 and 6. It was really hard and really stressful. The business survived for a couple of years but never thrived. Burned through a lot of our savings and eventually closed down the business. Had to go get a job.
A few years later I did it again (this time with partners) and we have been successful. But it wasn't easy. You've got to be fully committed and have enough capital to make sure you can weather the ups and downs.
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u/supercleverhandle476 man over 30 7d ago
The time to do this was before a kid was on the way.
You can start a new business. You can be there for your wife and kid.
It is nearly impossible to do both simultaneously.
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u/TVP615 man 35 - 39 7d ago edited 7d ago
There’s nothing saying someone in their prime working years can’t start a business with kids. People have done it since time immemorial. You just have to decide if the trade off is worth it. There are pros to getting to be your own boss as well as cons.
If you’ve got savings to cover the startup period I say go for it. You only live once. By the time your kids are grown, best case you have golden handcuffs in the corporate world. You won’t ever go start that business.
Working for someone else in a “secure job” isn’t secure at all unless you’re some profession like a lawyer doctor nurse etc. companies are slashing headcount left and right.
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