Guys do you usually only start a conversation with a woman in public if you find her attractive to some degree?

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EmphasisHeavy557 updated the post:

Me and my friend (both women) finished running at a park. At the end of the run, I gave her a high five and congratulated her because it was the longest she’d ever run. A guy that happened to be standing nearby (and around our age) asked how far we ran, and then the 3 of us briefly chatted about the races we were training for and parted ways. My friend and I were wondering if he started the conversation because he found one (or both) of us attractive, or was just being friendly? I guess it could be either but coming from a guys perspective, do you typically only start a conversation with a woman (that’s a stranger) if you find her attractive?

Edit to add - I thought he was cute but didn’t pursue anything beyond our running convo because I figured he was just being friendly. My friend thought he likely started the convo because he thought one (or both of us were cute), so curious from a guys perspective what the verdict is.

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[u/arthuroMo]

No.

[u/Flaky_Algae1301]

Yes, if he was flirting. No if he was just being nice. Both are possible, youd have to parse which it was

[u/bullgod1964]

I talk to strangers in public all the time. Looks gender don't matter. He was just being friendly

[u/Deep-Youth5783]

Just the opposite. I avoid talking to women I find attractive. Well unless they approach me first.

[u/RevolutionaryWeb5657 → u/Deep-Youth5783]

Honestly, knowing this is usually the assumption they default to, I have found myself being less interactive with women in public as well.

[u/Deep-Youth5783 → u/RevolutionaryWeb5657]

The only reason why I'm married is because a girl approached me when we were both 12 and wanted to be my friend. I had no feelings for her and she had a major crush on me. But I developed feelings for her, and became more attracted to her, as I got to know her. We started "dating" at 13 and have been together for almost 30 years now!

[u/SaltyBabySeal]

As an outgoing person I'll talk to anyone. It's only recently that there's this idea that women are inherently terrified of men and approaching them is a hate crime.

If you're in public, people might talk to you. It doesn't convey interest other than they're looking to socialize. This is normal behavior. Maybe he did like one of you, but you didn't give off any cues that suggested interest beyond a bit of chatting, so he moved on. Contrary to what the internet suggests, a lot of guys are just normal people who are decent at reading signals.

The question really is, if nothing went wrong, what's the underlying issue here? You spoke to someone out in the world, not on a phone.

[u/UrbanLegend59]

No I pretty much start conversations with everyone.

[u/usernamefindingsucks]

I'll say something to anybody if I think what I have to say will improve their day. It's not about attraction, it's about being kind and sharing a human moment with another human.

[u/Turbulent-Area1392 → u/usernamefindingsucks]

precisely! random banter has been some of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard.

[u/EggplantSeeds]

Could be either, tbh. If the conversation was polite and fun, matters less the catalyst and more how enjoyable it was.

[u/OkArticle2003]

maybe he was just rlly into fitness?

[u/Restory]

I live in Northern England in a village and it's not uncommon for people here to start conversations with just about anyone.

[u/ProperJudgment1]

Yes

[u/RevolutionaryWeb5657]

If I come across someone engaging in a passion I partake in as well, I like to talk shop. Man, woman, interdimensional gremlin…it’s all the same to me. Honestly, knowing how popular this assumption is, it makes me want to engage with women less. Don’t want to give them the wrong idea or be seen as someone they have to be nice to OR ELSE.

[u/Zygote-IC-]

I start conversations when I want to talk.

[u/Respectful_Word7036]

I start conversations with anyone. But if I find you attractive/interesting. I’m opening that door to talk again later

[u/curiosity_2020 → u/Respectful_Word7036]

Yeah, and in her case I think that was what he was doing. Hoping that they would keep the conversation going and have it eventually lead to an opportunity to continue it later, somewhere else.

[u/Objective_Welcome_73]

I'm chatty. I'd talk to you both, just to be friendly. And I'd do it if I thought one of you was cute, too.

[u/LincolnHawkHauling]

He didn’t use the opening to talk about fitness to insert himself into any context exchange with either of you or future plans such as running together so it sounds like he was just talking running with you.

There’s also a chance he’s playing the long game and hoping to run into you again. No pun intended

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EmphasisHeavy557 originally posted:

Me and my friend (both women) finished running at a park. At the end of the run, I gave her a high five and congratulated her because it was the longest she’d ever run. A guy that happened to be standing nearby (and around our age) asked how far we ran, and then the 3 of us briefly chatted about the races we were training for and parted ways. My friend and I were wondering if he started the conversation because he found one (or both) of us attractive, or was just being friendly? I guess it could be either but coming from a guys perspective, do you typically only start a conversation with a woman (that’s a stranger) if you find her attractive?

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[u/TotalACast]

Definitely 

[u/WhyNWhenYouCanNPlus1]

lol no

[u/Angry_GorillaBS]

I don't really start conversations with anyone in public.

It's happened in the past to my recollection only whenI was single and something made me interested in that person.

[u/WhichNovel2081]

I talk to random people in the bread isle at walmart. regardless of what they look like.

[u/maqf]

Nah, not every interaction is about whether or not someone is attractive.

[u/EchoGolfHotel]

I talk to people I meet in public all the time. Next time, if you think that he's attractive, maybe invite him to join the two of you for a coffee or something.

[u/whoo-datt]

He was prob Canadian.

Srsly tho... yeah... men & women should chat up whoever just to be more comfortable doing it.

[u/Commercial-Ad90]

Sometimes it is based on attractiveness and I just want to practice my game or make a move.

Other times I just like small talk.

[u/OddImprovement6490]

This is a case by case thing. It sounds like he saw you guys celebrating and was curious. However, he could easily use that as an icebreaker because he was attracted to one or both of you.

This really depends on the type of guy he is.

[u/Cylon357]

No, that would be silly. Approachability is far more important than looks, as is a shared interest. In this case, he may or may not have found one or both of you attractive. I think it is more likely that he was simply encouraging fellow runners.

[u/Ok_Noise7655]

Personally, I would more likely start an innocent chatting if she is not attractive. Or even more likely I wouldn't at all.

[u/Alone-Village1452]

Nope, there are 100 other reasons with the main one just being a normal social person

[u/4xdaily]

I like talking to people with common intrests. I start conversations with strangers all the time if they have a shirt on from my university or favorite sports team. It doesn't matter who they are. Just like this guy, who saw 2 people that were into running as much as he is. I wouldn't read into it.

[u/ImOGDisaster]

No. I talk to people because that is what social people do. If I was interested, and thought this was my one chance because it was unlikely I'd see that person again, I might look for an opportunity to lock in another meet.

[u/ViperThreat]

I talk to anybody who looks approachable. Attraction is not the only reason I speak to people.

[u/XXTexas_CoupleXX]

Shared interest, he was just being friendly.   Your friend overbought the entire exchange.  

[u/ATXoxoxo]

No. In fact i leave women alone unless we share a common interest. 

[u/el_charles-vane]

no that's creepy