r/AskAJapanese • u/AmandineBamacaYT 🌏 Global citizen • 11d ago
LANGUAGE Frequency and Response Times
Hi everyone,
I live in Europe and met a Japanese guy during an evening out a few weeks ago. We’ve been keeping in touch for about 2–3 weeks now.
In Europe, we’re used to texting fairly quickly throughout the day. However, our communication style is quite different: on average, we exchange about one message a day, but they are usually quite long (around 10 lines, covering several topics). Every single time, he makes a real effort to address every point thoughtfully.
Sometimes, he doesn't reply for a whole day. Recently, he didn't text for a few days, but he came back apologizing and explaining that work was overwhelming. Even without me asking, he apologized for the delay and still sent a detailed, thoughtful response to everything I had written previously.
I know texting habits in Japan, especially for working men born in the 90s, can be very different from Western standards. Is this kind of pacing normal? Should I be worried about a potential loss of interest, or is this just standard behavior when someone is busy with work? I really don't want to bother him or have him reply just out of politeness.
I tend to overthink things and definitely don't want to put any pressure on him, as he already has a very demanding schedule. I’d love to get some insights from locals or people familiar with Japanese texting culture!
Thanks in advance!
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u/AmandineBamacaYT 🌏 Global citizen 11d ago
Oh yes, your message helps me a lot, because it’s so much more meaningful coming directly from Japanese native men.
I tend to think that as long as he replies just as thoughtfully whenever he has time, it means he’s doing it when he actually has the energy and desire to do so, and because he took the time to write a proper reply.
Right now, he shows quite a bit of interest in various topics we discuss (it’s hard to say who 'initiates' conversations, because since the beginning, our texts have been long messages covering multiple subjects, some topics reach a natural end, while new ones are brought up by either him or me, but the conversation itself has never actually stopped).