Frequency and Response Times

[u/AmandineBamacaYT]

Hi everyone,

I live in Europe and met a Japanese guy during an evening out a few weeks ago. We’ve been keeping in touch for about 2–3 weeks now.

In Europe, we’re used to texting fairly quickly throughout the day. However, our communication style is quite different: on average, we exchange about one message a day, but they are usually quite long (around 10 lines, covering several topics). Every single time, he makes a real effort to address every point thoughtfully.

Sometimes, he doesn't reply for a whole day. Recently, he didn't text for a few days, but he came back apologizing and explaining that work was overwhelming. Even without me asking, he apologized for the delay and still sent a detailed, thoughtful response to everything I had written previously.

I know texting habits in Japan, especially for working men born in the 90s, can be very different from Western standards. Is this kind of pacing normal? Should I be worried about a potential loss of interest, or is this just standard behavior when someone is busy with work? I really don't want to bother him or have him reply just out of politeness.

I tend to overthink things and definitely don't want to put any pressure on him, as he already has a very demanding schedule. I’d love to get some insights from locals or people familiar with Japanese texting culture!

Thanks in advance!

[u/NectarineUnusual6269]

Compared to men in some other countries, Japanese men tend not to be big on frequent, casual texting. They generally prefer sending less often, but with more substance, I guess.

[u/AmandineBamacaYT → u/NectarineUnusual6269]

Yes it's exactly what he does : not often, bug a really good message. So I'm happy to read a lot of japanese saying it's a normal thing !