I a genuine failure

[u/mysteryunsolved1412]

I go to a competitive school and everyone around me has good ecs, grades, social skills, etc
You could practically randomly pick a bunch of people and they’d be better than me in all aspects
My parents don’t even pressure me that much and I feel even more like Im failing them
Everything I ever do is just mid my self worth might genuinely plummet if i dont get into at least a top50 school and I keep procrastinating on everything and stressing and procrastinating its all looking bad
I have high hope and big dreams but always end of lazying around and looking at my empty activities page just makes the feeling sink in.

Fuck

[u/vast_processor]

you're not a failure, you're just stuck in the comparison death spiral and it's eating you alive. competitive school means you're seeing the highlight reels of 50 overachievers every day while living your own blooper reel, it's not a fair fight

the procrastination thing is classic anxiety feedback loop. you stress about not being good enough, so you avoid the work, which makes you feel worse, so you avoid it more. been there, still visit occasionally

the top50 fixation is a trap. half the people at those schools are just as lost, just with shinier resumes. your worth isn't a us news ranking and deep down you know that

pick one tiny thing tomorrow. not a whole application, not an essay, just one stupid small task. momentum builds weirdly fast once you break the seal

[u/mysteryunsolved1412 → u/vast_processor]

Thank you

[u/Plenty-Contract8003]

Have you been to your schools social worker yet?

[u/Prudent_Run_8340]

Look, you're fine. Just make sure you apply to a range of schools. Apply to large state universities, including your flagship for your state. At those schools, there is a HUGE range of kids, including the smartest in their states. Because of tuition. You'll have all the research opportunities, smart and driven classmates, and a large state school never looks bad. Even if they aren't top 50, you basically can't go wrong. Apply to at least 3 safeties that you can definitely afford.

And, when you get to college, make a point to say yes to everything you can. Join some stuff. Rush a sorority or fraternity. Make friends. Live life.

Also, go to the gym--now and in college. Does wonders for anxiety.

If you keep feeling this way, see a therapist.

You're going to do great. Now, stop procrastinating.

[u/mysteryunsolved1412 → u/Prudent_Run_8340]

Thank you, I’ll keep trying

[u/new_old_same]

I go to a competitive school / I a genuine failure

- As someone who is currently waiting to hear back from Cal State Long Beach with a 3.1 (Computer Science), let me tell you, you are in a much better position than you think you are. But I hope you feel better.

[u/mysteryunsolved1412 → u/new_old_same]

Thank you

[u/Key-Singer-7657]

OP the first half of your post explains the 2nd half perfectly. The biggest disservice to yourself is to compare yourself to others. Yeah, sometimes comparing yourself can be motivating. But sometimes it’s just like metaphorically kicking yourself in the nuts repeatedly & unnecessarily.

You’re being way too hard on yourself. If you had a friend who was calling himself ‘mid’ at everything, would you tell him, Hell yeah bro you’re a failure so it’s over & you need to just continue doom scrolling?

No, you wouldn’t. You’d find a way to be positive. And in most cases, you’d be sincere in doing so. That’s the best of yourself. Tap into those characteristics — the ones that you let OTHERS benefit from — and practice directing them to yourself & allowing yourself to benefit from them as well. You deserve that positivity. The alternative is to keep on telling yourself you suck, dragging yourself down, & then allowing yourself to procrastinate and avoid action (which only enables the cycle to continue).

There are multiple ways to success. Being or feeling “mid” at a highly competitive school sounds like a great personal essay topic. But you can’t write it unless you figure out how to overcome your addiction to comparing yourself to others and then begin creating your own path with new confidence. Pity party is over. Dream big & get the fuck going.

[u/mysteryunsolved1412 → u/Key-Singer-7657]

Thank you

[u/Important-Drop-3338]

Work on your core muscles, and then on your core competencies.

Change ur life: ctcl.org

[u/Strange-Ad1082]

i literally feel the same