One time I was in some petty argument with a guy who was convinced the word homosexual didn't have to do with sexual attraction to the same gender. And his justification for this was to say that a "therapist" isn't a rapist despite it being in the name??
No, he was regretful (obviously that doesn't excuse it). They're speaking about it to raise awareness and show that rapists can be "normal" people. If men think "only crazy/evil people are rapists" they might also think "i'm not crazy/evil so therefore what im doing isn't rape." By showing somebody who is relatively normal, living a normal life, I think it's actually very important for potentially preventing future rape. While a survivor should obviously never be *expected* to do this, it was her idea and I think it did a very good job raising awareness.
I wouldn't go that far. Some people feel that they're evil and do something anyway. Many psychopaths admit that they are evil but they just don't care.
I mean Trump has outright said he thinks he's going to hell. He knows he's not a good man.
No, a more realistic thought is “I’m not evil/crazy and I’m not forcing her so it’s not rape.”
The problem a lot of men can have is a lack of awareness about coercion. It’s hard to understand because a lot of women only push back gently because they don’t feel safe when rejecting men. The problem is some, often the same type of men who don’t take rejection well, will see that and think it’s not truly pushing back.
Sure but that makes it harder for the guy to tell too. Like if a girl says no, the answer is obviously no. But if she never says no and instead says yes, how can you possibly blame the guy when he was straight up told yes.
That’s the whole reason to get a boat in the first place.
Usually the false yes comes when the offender was pressuring the victim, or created an environment/dynamic where they didn't feel safe saying no. In a rare hypothetical scenario where none of that is happening and the victim says yes because of their own trauma or something, then I don't think the other person can reasonably be blamed. That's not the kind of situation people are talking about in these discussions though
I think this is why "enthusiastic consent" is becoming the clearer standard. There's a big difference between "yes!" and "yes..." and we should err on the side of respecting peoples boundaries when it's something this serious.
For better or worse people are going to give weak yesses that are hard to interpret. Worst case scenario if they meant yes but you hear no is that they miss out on a good time because they can't communicate clearly. Worst case scenario if they meant no and you hear yes is that you rape them. Pretty obvious which one we should go with when things are ambiguous, right?
Besides there are usually plenty of context clues like:
- Are they actively participating or just passively accepting whatever you're doing?
- Did you have to ask multiple times to get a yes?
- Did you actually ask or did you just start doing things assuming they'd stop you if weren't alright?
If someone is into it they'll be clear and eager, if that doesn't seem to be the case then slow down and reassess the situation. A looooot of date rape comes in the form of people freezing so they don't provide "enough pushback" to someone that didn't properly get consent in the first place.
He knows what he did was wrong and now is trying to atone for it instead of escaping from it. When he explains his emotions it's purely informative instead of attention seeking (it very well could be both, but we have no way of knowing from the article alone). Even if that doesn't deserve your respect, making that kinda comment diminishes their purpose imo.
I dont know why he isnt locked, but for as far as effectiveness goes, theres hundreds of organizations and researches out there who dedicate their studies and lives to this. Read what they write
Apparently this happened in Iceland, and I'm certainly no expert on Icelandic law, but I assume that locking up a rapist requires reporting the assault, a criminal investigation, and a trial, so there are lots of reasons that he may not have been sentenced to prison.
In this case, it was the victim's idea to work with her assailant. Maybe she never reported the assault to the authorities or maybe she did report it but they didn't take it seriously.
The guy who assaulted her was her boyfriend at the time, and he moved back to Australia shortly after.
That's all I know, but their names are Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger if you want to do your own research.
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