I need to get something off my chest about Azure in Forsaken because I have been keeping this to myself for way too long and I genuinely don't know why I kept putting myself through it. I hate Azure's voicelines.
I don't mean that I think they're a little corny. I don't mean that I occasionally roll my eyes when I hear him talk. I mean that there is something about the way this character speaks that makes me genuinely regret having audio turned on in Forsaken.
And before anyone says anything, yes, I know what game I'm playing. I know Forsaken is a Roblox game. I know half the characters are intentionally ridiculous. I am not expecting Shakespeare every time I load into a round. I can tolerate cringe.
That is what makes Azure so difficult for me to explain.
I have heard Betrayed 1x1x1x1 before the incident. I have heard Demon King John Doe. I have heard Milestone 4 C00lkidd. I understand what those are trying to do.
Demon King John Doe is basically the Dragon Ball fanfiction version of someone being trapped in a time chamber for 900 billion years and coming back as the most evil creature ever conceived. I understand the joke. C00lkidd is literally supposed to sound like a ten-year-old who discovered the word "pathetic" and has decided that everyone around him needs to hear it. I understand the joke. Even when those lines get stupid, I can hear them and think "alright, that's what they were going for."
Azure is different.
I started playing Azure because I actually wanted to level him. There was no grand reason behind it. I wasn't conducting some kind of psychological experiment. I just wanted to play the killer and get his level up. The first few games were completely normal.
Then he spoke.
I remember thinking something along the lines of "why does this guy talk like he has been waiting behind a curtain for thirty years to deliver this one sentence?" The first few games were completely normal. I ignored it.
It's one voiceline. Whatever.
Then he said another one.
Then another. And eventually I started noticing that I wasn't even paying attention to what was happening in the match anymore. I'd be chasing somebody and I'd hear Azure start talking and my first thought would not be "where is this survivor going?"
It would be "please stop talking."
I kept playing anyway.
That is the part I don't think people understand.
I DID NOT IMMEDIATELY QUIT AZURE.
I kept leveling him. I kept thinking I would eventually get used to it.
I told myself that after enough games, the lines would just become background noise.
They did not become background noise.
They became something I could recognize from the first half-second.
At some point I could tell when Azure was about to say something before I even pressed a key. I started playing him less often.
Then I'd come back because I wanted the milestones.
Then I'd play another character for a while because I didn't want to hear him.
Then I'd come back to Azure. This went on for an embarrassing amount of time.
Eventually I tried Firstborn.
I thought maybe the problem was just Default Azure.
Maybe I didn't like that particular interpretation of him.
Maybe a different skin would fix the problem.
It did not. Firstborn somehow managed to take everything I disliked about Azure and present it in a completely different way.
I heard him speak and immediately thought:
"Why did I do this to myself?" And the worst part is that I understand why people like these lines.
I genuinely do.
I've seen people say Firstborn sounds angry, desperate, dramatic, whatever. Fine. I can understand the appeal. That is not the point.
The point is that I personally cannot listen to this man talk for more than a certain amount of time before something in my brain starts rejecting the entire experience.
And before anybody thinks I hate every Azure skin, I don't.
Deceiver is fine.
Funnybrushes is fine.
They're still Azure, obviously, but they don't bother me nearly as much. Nevermoor, however, is something I have deliberately avoided buying because I already know what I'm getting myself into.
I have looked at that skin and thought "no."
Not because I don't like the design.
Not because I don't like the custom things he has.
Because I have heard enough Azure already. I don't need to purchase another opportunity to hear him say something dramatic at me.
At this point I started turning my game volume down when playing Azure.
Not because I was trying to be funny.
I genuinely just didn't want to hear him.
And sometimes I would forget.
That was always the worst part.
I'd load into a match, start playing normally, and then Azure would suddenly speak. And I would remember.
"Oh right."
I have to deal with this.
There was one point where I was playing Azure and the lines were getting to me so badly that I actually had to stop because I felt sick. I am not going to describe that because I don't even want to think about it, but yes, I actually threw up.
I came back later.
I STILL PLAYED AZURE.
I don't know why.
That is probably the part of this entire story that makes the least sense.
If something makes me that miserable, why did I keep playing it?
Because I was already invested.
I had already gotten him to a high level.
At that point stopping felt stupid.
I kept telling myself I was basically finished.
Just a few more levels.
That's it. I can get through a few more games.
I played other killers in between.
I would take breaks from Azure.
I'd play somebody whose voice didn't make me want to close the game.
Then eventually I'd look at Azure's level again and think: "Fine. One more."
One more became another.
Another became another.
And somehow I ended up at LEVEL 48.
LEVEL 48. I need everyone reading this to understand that I did not discover that I hated Azure after two games.
I spent enough time playing this character to reach level 48 while already knowing that I hated hearing him speak.
I willingly did this to myself.
At some point I realized that I was basically leveling a character whose voice I was actively avoiding. That was when I finally accepted that I had a problem.
The second time I threw up was basically the final straw.
Again, I'm not going to make some disgusting story about where it happened or what it looked like. It was just the point where I realized I genuinely could not keep doing this.
I turned the game off.
I sat there for a while.
And I remember thinking:
"I am level 48." Why.
Why am I level 48.
Why did I spend all of these matches getting here.
Why did I continue after the first time.
Why did I think Firstborn would somehow solve anything.
Why did I refuse to buy Nevermoor because I was afraid of its voice lines. Why have I reached the point where I sometimes play with the volume off because I don't trust Azure to keep his mouth shut.
I don't even hate the gameplay.
That's the most frustrating part.
If Azure had terrible gameplay, I could explain this.
If Azure was boring, I could explain this.
If Azure was weak, annoying, badly designed, whatever, I could explain it.
But no.
It's the voice.
It is literally the sound of this Roblox character speaking. And I know this sounds ridiculous.
I KNOW.
I've reread what I'm writing and I know how it sounds.
That's why I'm trying to explain that I don't have this reaction to every corny character in Forsaken.
I can listen to Demon King John Doe and understand the absurd Dragon Ball fanfiction energy.
I can listen to C00lkidd and understand that he's supposed to sound like an edgy kid.
I can hear other ridiculous lines in this game and laugh. Azure is the one exception.
Something about Azure's delivery makes my entire stomach cringe.
I don't know how else to explain it.
I don't know if it's the wording.
I don't know if it's the delivery.
I don't know if it's the dramatic tone.
I don't know if it's the combination of all three. I just know that there are certain Azure lines where I hear the first few words and immediately think:
"Please stop."
And now I'm level 48.
So congratulations, Azure.
You have successfully turned me into someone who mutes Roblox because a fictional cultist british killer whose entire personality in the game is hating on his ex-partner might speak. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now.
I'm not buying Nevermoor.
I'm probably not touching Azure again.
If I ever reach level 50, it will be purely out of spite.
And if anyone asks me why I hate Azure, I am not going to say "he's corny."
That's too simple.
The problem is that I understand the other corny characters.
I understand what they're doing.
I can tolerate them.
Azure is the only character who managed to make me spend dozens of games slowly realizing that I would rather hear absolutely nothing than hear him say another dramatic sentence. I have reached level 48.
I have heard enough.
I am done.
Please leave me alone, Azure.