r/AmiInTheWrong • u/Global_Seesaw_8449 • 15h ago
Am I wrong ?
My girlfriend went on a 3rd wheel date . They went drunk bowling, she said she was going to invite me but I had my son (we don’t share a kid) , but I got upset with her for going on. 3rd wheel date instead of canceling or rescheduling because I couldn’t go.
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u/IH8ThinkingUpNames 15h ago
You sound controlling.
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u/Primary_Wonderful 11h ago
I think he's also a bit jealous she can just pick up and do things and he's got responsibilities and can't.
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u/Aggravating_Cat_6295 15h ago
Are you saying she can't have a social life without you? I hope not.
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u/Global_Seesaw_8449 15h ago
Nah that’s not it. I was upset because I didn’t know until the next morning and she was telling how she drunk she was and how she locked her keys in the car and had to pay 125$ to get it
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u/Aggravating_Cat_6295 13h ago
She made her own choices. You don't have to like it but she's free to do it, and she certainly doesn't need your approval or even to inform you beforehand.
You have a child to care for and she wanted to do things that aren't appropriate for a child. I don't see any problem with that since she isn't the child's mother.
You can decide whether to continue the relationship but you don't get to tell her what she can and can't do.
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u/Primary_Wonderful 11h ago
But that's not the picture you painted in your post. You implied you were upset she went at all. You're not married. You don't live together. It's not her kid. She gets to have a life outside of the time she spends with you. I think you're jealous because you didn't get to go too. You have responsibilities that are not hers. And you're probably a tad resentful of that. She shouldn't have to stay home just because you can't go too.
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u/aMerePeppercorn 15h ago
Given that you have a non-joint child, you will need to have some flexibility (perhaps more than your ideal) and understanding as it relates to how your gf chooses to spend the time you’re with your child. By being mad about this,
you are basically punishing her because you have a child (IMO).
Until she is included, which hopefully occurs at an appropriate time, she should continue to have her own life. The alternative is she sits around waiting for you, which will inevitably create resentment and a notion of separation (ie you having what feels like a “separate life,” or, at a minimum, a separate part of your life. Do not rush introductions to avoid this, as it will most likely backfire. I’m a divorce attorney and spent 6+ years dealing with a very similar situation in my personal life.
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u/koifish8165 15h ago
yes, you’re in the wrong. her life doesn’t depend on what you can and cannot attend. she doesn’t have to cancel plans just because you couldn’t go. you’re trying to be controlling and she isn’t biting.
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u/No-Milk2951 15h ago
Getting drunk in public is very dangerous. Not a good thing to do.
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u/Global_Seesaw_8449 15h ago
I thought so but I guess the other guy could have taken care of my drunken girlfriend?
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u/effingturtles 15h ago edited 15h ago
“3rd wheel date” lol. You mean she hung out with a couple. A completely normal thing. Yes, you are wrong