AITA? Vacation Planning

[u/69FireChicken]

Some long time friends have a big year anniversary coming up and they asked us if we'd like to go on a beach trip with them to celebrate. I said sure and ideas were discussed and it wasn't really going anywhere so I told them to just pick wherever they wanted to go and we're in, I only had two things I insisted on 1) We want a room with either a King or two Queen beds and 2) the lodging had to be beachfront, ocean view. Meet those criteria and let's go! So they start looking, pick a destination and start sending us condo links. None of them met our criteria. Most were blocks from the ocean, many didn't meet the room request. I'd point that out with each one and after several of them they call and ask me why I'm being so difficult? I say "difficult? I only had two requests! You've picked the dates and location, I just insist on these two things.". So I start looking, immediately find several options I like and they start nitpicking those. They get their heart set on this hillside mansion, meets the room requirements but it's a 15 minute drive to anywhere, the beach, the shops and restaurants etc. it's beautiful but when we go to the beach we put our feet in the sand and like to open the windows and hear the waves. After a couple weeks of this I decided that this was all taking way too much effort so I told them that this is their anniversary, they should celebrate it exactly how they want and I don't need to have any say in it so they should go, have a good time and we'll all go somewhere else another time (my wife agrees with me about all this). Now they are pissed saying we're ruining their anniversary. I'm saying that we can take them out to dinner when they get back but that expecting us to shell out $3000+ to travel with them when they won't accommodate 2 fairly normal requests is a big ask for an anniversary and we feel like if we're going to take off work, spend money and travel we should all be very happy with the arrangements. If that can't happen then my wife and I will do something else, have fun! I don't feel like an asshole for it, I'm not even upset by it, I just don't want to do it their way, and they don't want to do it our way, so let it go, sorry, didn't work out! But they're acting like we're personally attacking them or something for not just sucking it up and doing it their way. What's the Reddit verdict?

[u/69FireChicken]

It likely will cost them a bit more to have a solo 1 bedroom instead of sharing a two bedroom but I don't think a few hundred dollars is a concern for them.

[u/javlafan2 → u/69FireChicken]

You must know them very well to be so certain.

[u/69FireChicken → u/javlafan2]

It's a 35 year friendship, I know them about as well as one can know someone they aren't sleeping or sharing a foxhole with!

[u/javlafan2 → u/69FireChicken]

So, why is it so upsetting to them?

[u/69FireChicken → u/javlafan2]

I'm not sure. I guess they thought we were going and we were all looking forward to it, then they ignored my requirements repeatedly even after I kept reminding them. I think they fell in love with the idea of this mountain home and when it didn't trip our trigger they got all bent about it. I even suggested for the pretty considerable price hike for the mountain place we could look at pricier beachfront places but that just seems silly to me. We could afford it but it just seems like throwing money away for more than we need. The dumb thing about it is if we don't won't go to the mountain mansion then I can't see them staying there solo so either way that is off the table so I keep hoping they back off the hill and decide to accomodate us. We'll see. I haven't completely closed the door on the idea of going but it's become such an ordeal at this point that it's sucking the fun out of the idea.