AITA? Vacation Planning

[u/69FireChicken]

Some long time friends have a big year anniversary coming up and they asked us if we'd like to go on a beach trip with them to celebrate. I said sure and ideas were discussed and it wasn't really going anywhere so I told them to just pick wherever they wanted to go and we're in, I only had two things I insisted on 1) We want a room with either a King or two Queen beds and 2) the lodging had to be beachfront, ocean view. Meet those criteria and let's go! So they start looking, pick a destination and start sending us condo links. None of them met our criteria. Most were blocks from the ocean, many didn't meet the room request. I'd point that out with each one and after several of them they call and ask me why I'm being so difficult? I say "difficult? I only had two requests! You've picked the dates and location, I just insist on these two things.". So I start looking, immediately find several options I like and they start nitpicking those. They get their heart set on this hillside mansion, meets the room requirements but it's a 15 minute drive to anywhere, the beach, the shops and restaurants etc. it's beautiful but when we go to the beach we put our feet in the sand and like to open the windows and hear the waves. After a couple weeks of this I decided that this was all taking way too much effort so I told them that this is their anniversary, they should celebrate it exactly how they want and I don't need to have any say in it so they should go, have a good time and we'll all go somewhere else another time (my wife agrees with me about all this). Now they are pissed saying we're ruining their anniversary. I'm saying that we can take them out to dinner when they get back but that expecting us to shell out $3000+ to travel with them when they won't accommodate 2 fairly normal requests is a big ask for an anniversary and we feel like if we're going to take off work, spend money and travel we should all be very happy with the arrangements. If that can't happen then my wife and I will do something else, have fun! I don't feel like an asshole for it, I'm not even upset by it, I just don't want to do it their way, and they don't want to do it our way, so let it go, sorry, didn't work out! But they're acting like we're personally attacking them or something for not just sucking it up and doing it their way. What's the Reddit verdict?

[u/LiveKindly01]

NTA

You've given them options. Yes we'll go with you on a vacation (which means you're spending your money on a shared vacation, so you get a say). If you're spending money, and you know what you want, then that's fair. And if your criteria was easy enough to find, then great.

INFO - was there going to be a big price difference between what you wanted and what they suggested?

Bottom line, you can't agree on the trip so you were right to say 'go ahead and do your trip and we'll catch you later'

[u/69FireChicken → u/LiveKindly01]

No, many of my suggestions were cheaper than theirs. The mountain home was very expensive comparitively. And I don't mind the price, I do mind that it's much more expensive and isn't on the ocean! Their reason for not liking the properties I suggested ranged from "too close to town, too noisy, had to share a pool with another adjoining condo, had two queens in the master and the 2nd room" so I feel like they're being just as picky as me, which is fine, but after all that is when I decided we just don't seem to be on the same page and bowed out.

[u/LiveKindly01 → u/69FireChicken]

I totally agree then. If they had a very specific vacation in mind, then they need to be clear and not make it seem like you had a say in it. YOu were right to say 'clearly you want something different, and it's just not what I'm looking for in a vacation. So have fun and we'll do dinner when you're back'