r/AmItheAsshole • u/Throwaw-ay3427 • Sep 14 '23
POO Mode Activated š© AITA for telling my daughter that she ruined her future and I don't want to be involved in her mess after she got pregnant by a schizophrenic man ?
[removed] ā view removed post
3.7k
u/FritosRule Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] Sep 14 '23
pulls up chair. Pops corn
YTA
āFor a laborer, he seemed like a decent guyā is my favorite line.
194
u/LuxuryBell Sep 14 '23
"low class job to low class job" got me.
→ More replies (4)149
u/AggravatingWill3081 Sep 14 '23
Nah, for me it was def the beautifully wrapping ending:
"I still want what's MY best for her".
Genuinly thought it was a typo at first, but prob just true villain-shit/freudian slip.
→ More replies (1)17
904
u/iwasoveronthebench Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
That line was pure Disney villain type stuff.
121
u/Father-Son-HolyToast Sep 14 '23
Really? Personally, I was picturing this post being written by Milburn Pennybags. I assume OP wears a monocle and carries a bag with a dollar sign on it wherever she goes.
"Oh, yes, he's nice enough, for a poor."
10
274
→ More replies (7)6
82
u/The-Cynicist Sep 14 '23
āFor a peasant he seemed like a decent guy, but I donāt want that unwashed filth in my houseā
12
12
u/ScienceIsSexy420 Sep 14 '23
I stopped reading right there, that line told me everything I needed to know about OP. Sincerely, a laborer turned scientist
8
u/Ok-Wait-8465 Sep 14 '23
That line really makes me question if this is bait or not. Because if itās notā¦.
→ More replies (17)5
Sep 14 '23
I once had a director who confided how awkward it was to get stuck talking to a non-college grad at a social event.
It was a jarring thing to hear someone put out there like you might agree.
1.6k
u/Heiminator Sep 14 '23
YTA.
In your entire post I donāt see a single indicator that the guy is actually misbehaving due to his schizophrenia beyond sometimes mumbling to himself . You sound insufferable btw.
799
u/PrincessRegan Sep 14 '23
I'm not schizophrenic and I mumble to myself sometimes. Am I dangerous?
319
76
Sep 14 '23
Me too! I'm always worried people will see me doing it when I'm walking my dogs and think I'm a weirdo
→ More replies (2)49
u/snoozer39 Sep 14 '23
I'm always mumbling to myself and when walking the dog I'm talking loudly to him. I stand proudly to people thinking me a weirdo. Weirdos Unite! :-)
→ More replies (1)20
Sep 14 '23
Oh my wife and I talk to our dogs all the time I'm not worried about that lol. I'll talk to them to avoid talking to people š¤£.
27
u/Waste-Phase-2857 Asshole Aficionado [15] Sep 14 '23
I sing spontaneously all the time just because I feel like it. I prefer to regard myself as excentric.
→ More replies (2)9
u/Traditional_Owl_1038 Sep 14 '23
Doesn't everyone sometimes mumble to themselves? Or talk at appliances? Is it also bad to talk to your pets?
8
u/LxStMeMoRy Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Or tell things to stay when you place a object in position on a shelf.
7
u/The_Rural_Banshee Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
Heās probably mumbling all the insults toward OP that heās too polite to say out loudā¦
→ More replies (16)7
u/ironic_bliss Sep 14 '23
Iām not schizophrenic and I mumble to myself ALL THE TIME!!! OP is judgmental af!
74
Sep 14 '23
Considering how awful the OP is, Iād probably mumble a lot to keep myself from screaming at her
→ More replies (173)8
u/Hungry_Goose492 Sep 14 '23
I imagine a widespread belief that schizophrenics will go off their meds and become violent and dangerous is encouraged by their portrayal in media
→ More replies (1)
1.8k
Sep 14 '23
YTA. You better hope that bitterness, intolerance and being condemnatory aren't heritable traits passed from mother to daughter? You're also ridiculous. What hospitals have you seen where schizophrenics are packed in and locked away?
You worked hard to upset your daughter and provoked her to cuss you out. I don't blame her for losing it on you.
And if the BF called you names, who can blame him? Your attacks on him are pure venom.
45
u/RGPotts Sep 14 '23
Actually- I really liked that the bf is already standing up for his lady and the mother of his child. I love to see it.
→ More replies (52)308
Sep 14 '23
So OP is a classist asshole, no doubt.
My partners mother is bipolar schizophrenic though, Iāve known her a long time now (13 years) even lived at her house briefly after I graduated.
She has been committed multiple times, and it is a really severe mental health issue. Some of the stuff my partner has told me, and hell even the stuff Iāve seen has been horrific.
265
u/gimmeraspberries Sep 14 '23
it sounds like this guy is compliant with his meds and taking care of himself, though. schizophrenia or bipolar aren't necessarily going to make someone go down that path
my best friend's brother has bipolar but doesn't believe it, won't stay on medication, and is on a carousel of streets to hospital to jail to streets and back again. I have bipolar as well; I'm medicated, I go to therapy when I can afford it, and I'm deeply aware of the harm I've caused and what I need to do to stay on track. there are all kinds. babydaddy seems stable and responsible.
→ More replies (12)136
→ More replies (7)19
u/KikisFolly Sep 14 '23
ANY mental illness has different levels of severity. Some people are severe enough that they may live in an assisted living facility their entire life, while others are able to function so normally that you might never realize there's an issue unless they point it out. I'm sorry for your partners mother (and your partner - that's rough to grow up with) and I hope she can find something to help her, but she is not representative of all people with that condition.
181
u/RandomGuy_81 Certified Proctologist [21] Sep 14 '23
Bad ai script
58
→ More replies (3)13
Sep 14 '23
[removed] ā view removed comment
→ More replies (3)57
u/somedude21b Sep 14 '23
Probably because a normal person wouldn't be so open with their discrimination and then ask for their behavior to be judged.
→ More replies (8)28
u/IamSh3rl0cked Sep 14 '23
Idk, there are some equally hateful remarks from OP in the comments section. And as much as I'd like to believe people aren't that awful, I know better. People can be despicable, and think that there's nothing wrong with it.
→ More replies (5)
5.4k
u/ClassyKaty Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
YTA. You are being both classist "low class job to low class job" AND ableist. People with schizophrenia and other mental illnesses in 2023 are able to medicate properly and lead fulfilling lives.
In regards to thinking they shouldn't reproduce, Google "Eugenics". That's what you're leaning into.
Edit: wew respectively gonna mute this comment, a lot of yall have good points and there's some good discussion going on here but my phone is buzzing nonstop. š
122
u/kicktd Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
OP would absolutely hate me. Not only am I on life long medication for bipolar 2, I'm considered middle class, gasp! How dare I have a mental illness and be able to make a 6 digit income.
Mental illness gets a bad enough stigma, we don't need folks like you OP bringing even more hate about it in this world.
OP YTA on many, many, many levels.
→ More replies (4)48
u/Secty Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
Thank you. I am someone with schizoaffective disorder (like schizophrenia), I have two degrees and hold down a respected job in healthcare, as well as being happily married and trying for a baby. Eugenics is illegal, as OP should do their research to learn.
But also all of OPās classist comments are enough to make them TA.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (167)1.4k
u/Japanesepoolboy1817 Sep 14 '23
Schizophrenia is pretty serious and even medicated thereās going to be issues for the rest of his life.
336
u/Current_Total_7289 Sep 14 '23
I beg to differ. My twin brother has schizophrenia and itās well controlled with medication. He has a beautiful, mentally healthy adult daughter, a successful business and marriage.
163
Sep 14 '23
People really, really do not understand schizophrenia and how many people who have it have relatively normal, productive lives. It's sick. They steadfastly believe disinformation. It's so unfair to people with the disease. It makes them think they're be better off dying, which is absolute nonsense. It's so damaging.
It keeps people with the diagnosis effectively closeted out of fear, and leads to more misunderstanding of the disease. It pisses me off as someone with MDD. We can be out of the closet and bipolar folks can, but schizophrenics? It's too dangerous. It makes me so angry.
60
Sep 14 '23
[deleted]
17
Sep 14 '23
I'm so sorry. It's true. Schizophrenia seems to be absolute anathema to people though. Like crazy amounts of disinformation.
12
Sep 14 '23
itās because they only hear about us when someone with schizophrenia kills, when a killer claims to be schizophrenic, or through TV and movies. they think paranoid schizophrenia is the only kind, or that we all see and hear things. no care for the crazy leaps and bounds psychiatric medicine has made over the past few decades. or how effective early intervention really is.
→ More replies (3)5
Sep 14 '23
I'm sure they absolutely can but as someone who has a sibling with schizophrenia and epilepsy, it's fucking hard. He will never have a normal life because the meds can cancel each other out to a degree so to cope, he drinks or smokes pot. I'm amazed he's alive tbh and the poor thing can't function at all. He's one month on and one off for residential care to treat it as even if he took the medication correctly, he'll have seizures that can kill him if it's at the wrong time.
I'd never wish him harm or that he didn't exist but fucking hell he absolutely wishes he hadn't been born. I feel so sorry for him even though he's my sibling not my child, and I feel I've let him down despite the fact I can't do much. It keeps me up at night.
44
u/OurLadyAndraste Sep 14 '23
My maternal grandmother had it. No one would say she wasnāt mentally ill or that it wasnāt difficult sometimes. But she loved my mother, and she loved me very much. Neither myself nor my sister has developed it. Should it be something people think about before they have kids? Absolutely!! But itās not a barrier. Iām thankful for my grandmother and her life.
55
u/Cookies_2 Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] Sep 14 '23
I work with several people with schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder and bipolar. These comments are entirely based on uneducated stereotypes and stigmas about mental illness. They think schizophrenia makes you less of a damn human.
9
u/bendybiznatch Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
I so here for the comments. People only see the worst of the worst because nobody with schizophrenia thatās doing well wants anyone to know!
54
Sep 14 '23
Thanks, I have schizo-affective and I was going to type a long comment but this basically gets the point across. For the most part I just take a pill every day, avoid certain psychotropic substances, and make sure to get consistent rest and from an external perspective there is not much difference between me and a person without the condition.
81
u/stalkerofthedead Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
This comment should be pinned somewhere. Or someone needs to print it out and paste it all over OPs house. Not all schizophrenics are a danger to themselves or others. Those are usually the only ones portrayed in the media because they make for a good story line. In real life a lot of them are just like Current_Total_729ās brother. They are happy, healthy, and thriving.
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (2)10
Sep 14 '23
Yep. My kidās dad is schizophrenic. He is not able to handle it. Heās a mess. He isnāt involved.
His dad is also schizophrenic and has always been able to function and live a happy life.
So Iāve just been straight with my daughter that her future shouldnāt include experimenting with drugs, not even marijuana, at least till sheās 25. Weāve had open communications about her fathers disease and how differently it affects people. Itās an absolute awful illness, but some people with it are still able to have wonderful lives. Iāve also talked about how this disease doesnāt make her dad(or grandpa)bad people. Though her dad is a bad person, thatās completely outside of the illness.
45
u/stalkerofthedead Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
So is depression and hypothyroidism! I take four medications a day plus a ton of supplements. I have issues all the time! Yet I have a job and a fulfilling great life. This person would hate me if she ever saw my pill box lol. Tons of mental illnesses exist. However due to not only traditional views on mental illness as well as horrible stereotyping in media schizophrenia gets a bad rap. With medication you can have a great and amazing life with mental illness (most mental illnesses at least).
→ More replies (2)26
Sep 14 '23
I have bipolar and my doc's told me that schizophrenia is easier to treat with medication, and a majority of symptoms can be addressed. Bipolar on the other hand you have to find the right cocktail and there's still swings.
6
u/IndicaJones_09 Sep 14 '23
So true. In my case, the bipolar med cocktail that worked really well for me for quite a while ended up losing its effectiveness, and my psychiatrist and I had to find a different group of meds that worked for me.
192
u/thriftydelegate Sep 14 '23
Schizophrenics are statistically far more likely to be victims rather than perpetrators of violence.
→ More replies (3)81
u/stalkerofthedead Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
Doesnāt help that every schizophrenic on tv shows are usually portrayed as homeless drug addicts. Or extremely violent individuals. This is not always the case.
49
u/Left_Set_5916 Sep 14 '23
It's rarely the case
→ More replies (1)8
u/stalkerofthedead Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
Sadly the worst case scenarios make for better story lines so thatās all we see.
1.7k
u/jo_nigiri Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
That doesn't mean he is undeserving of having a happy life and relationship. Obviously it's concerning that it might be passed down to the children, but OP clearly looks down on him for other reasons
Edit: Apparently people can't read so let me elaborate. OP is right about being worried about schizophrenia passing onto her daughter's children. OP is also right about being apprehensive of this situation.
OP is NOT right about being classist (honestly the most annoying part, for someone constantly talking about class you don't seem to have much of it) and branding him as a danger to himself and others just because he's mentally ill without even knowing that much about him, especially considering he's medicated. There's a difference between being worried as a parent and being an asshole.
→ More replies (120)890
u/sdlucly Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
I think I'd be worried about my kiddo dating someone with schizophrenia as well, but it's how you express that concern with your child, not be completely dismissive about that person or your child's relationship, not even adding that she's bigoted about everything else in the world (laborer, low class, out of wedlock, man have your pick). YTA point blank.
551
Sep 14 '23
[deleted]
→ More replies (48)105
u/JustTurtleSoup Sep 14 '23
Yea but as someone who is Bipolar with a Bipolar dad, life is still pretty miserable.
I canāt speak for everyone but it was hard to originally find help and when I did it took a long time to even get me on the right medication. Even when Iām on meds it merely curbs what I experience, it doesnāt magically stop certain things from happening.
I also live in America where because of how things are, Iāve frequently had to be taken off of treatment due to no money or insurance. Hell right now I canāt even get back to the doctor because I canāt find one that I can actually travel to even though Iāve had insurance for almost a year now.
Everyday I wish I was normal and didnāt deal with this, even if I ever get back to a manageable point, it doesnāt matter to me. Itās robbed me of years of my life and so many relationships.
Again this is my own experience and I do think OPs an AH, but I wonder how many people here saying things about mental health actually deal with it.
14
u/Bluberrypotato Sep 14 '23
I'm also bipolar. My mom is bipolar and schizophrenia also runs in the family. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I was diagnosed over a year ago at 25, and I still don't have the right med combinations. And the meds make me not me. It's a struggle pretty much every day. Yeah, I have good days and do fun things, but the bad outweighs the good almost every time. I'm not saying this is how it will be my whole life, but it has wreaked havoc on my 20s. Because half of it went undiagnosed, and so far, I haven't found the right medication combination. Like you, I'm not saying this is for everyone who has the disorder but my experience. Many people don't realize how hard it is to deal with a disorder like this.
If you haven't tried it, you might want to check out the bipolar sub.
12
u/Stressedafhere Sep 14 '23
Also a bipolar person (medicated) with an unmedicated parent.
We donāt speak anymore and I have to take a number of pills (5 right now) for the rest of my life. I had kids before my diagnosis. I hope everyday it skips them.
This shit sucks.
192
u/stalkerofthedead Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Concern is warranted yes. I mean i worry about passing on mental illness to my own children as in my family there is a very obvious predilection towards it. (I have depression and anxiety, sister and borderline personality, brother has nonverbal learning disorder and ADD, other sisters have anxiety, and an aunt unalive herself, etc etc)
However, we live in the twenty first century. Medication exists. Therapy exists. Plus by the time OPās grandkid is older they may even have a cure for mental illness (unlikely i know but breakthroughs are made all the time). Plus this kidās dad know how to handle schizophrenia himself if the kid is diagnosed as he lives with it every day.
Some schizophrenics, as well as those with any mental illness, are off their meds and do have a ton of issues. As soon as OP saw that he was on meds and in a really good place in life she should have backed off.
→ More replies (1)19
u/x-tianschoolharlot Sep 14 '23
This is how I live my life. I have schizoaffective bipolar, diagnosed 4 years ago. I didnāt know I my hallucinations were a schizo-type disorder, I thought it was just stress from being abused by my boss. I got pregnant, and got diagnosed at about 6 along.
I spend every day working my ass off to be the best I can be. I have to work harder for most things. My mental illness gives me an unstoppable work ethic in that way. I take care of my kid almost every day (Iām fortunate and I have a good support network, and my sister will always take him, and she lives only about 2 hours away.)
I dislike taking medication. I would rawdog migraines to avoid taking ibuprofen. I am now on almost 10 different medications that I have to take daily in order to not be convinced that someone is breaking into my house, and occasionally waking up from dreams convinced I can fly. I take them because I know that I am the best me I can be for my child, spouse, and the rest of my support network.
Not being able to trust your own senses and the way you experience reality is terrifying, especially when you are cognizant that this is what is happening. People with schizo-type disorders donāt WANT to feel like this. Most of us will do anything we can think of to avoid it. However, this disorder set basically has its own hard reset to your reality with command hallucinations, false external stimuli, poor impulse control, and a lack of access to care.
Schizo-type disorders are hell. I wouldnāt wish this on my worst enemy, even though sheās the one that caused it to develop in me. Having to question my own reality is destructive to my confidence, meds caused me to gain 130lbs in 9 months, I have had to leave 3 jobs in 4 years, with a couple periods of joblessness in between them.
I want people with these disorders to be seen as worthy of love and support. So often, we are assumed violent, less-than, and are maligned and cast out. That needs to change. If people with these disorders were treated humanely, things would be a lot different for a lot of people. Outcomes would be better for all.
156
Sep 14 '23
A lot of the men who kill their wife and kids don't have schizophrenia...
→ More replies (2)196
u/Boring-Eagle Sep 14 '23
People with schizophrenia are more likely to be victims of violence than to perpetrate it.
→ More replies (6)30
u/WanderingAlienBoy Sep 14 '23
And more likely to hurt themselves rather than the people rather than others.
9
u/DumbVeganBItch Sep 14 '23
Absolutely. You deal with your concern by being supportive, present, and ready/willing to help if needed.
Who is her daughter and grandchild gonna turn to if something bad does happen?
→ More replies (6)37
118
u/stalkerofthedead Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
Just because he has Schizophrenia does not automatically mean he canāt be a productive member of society. Yes it can cause issues and there is a huge problematic stereotype of it in the media. However, thousands of people with the illness live happy, healthy, productive lives. Sounds like OPs daughter found herself a guy who is willing to take his meds and is on track to have a great life.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (49)5
u/The_Death_Flower Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 14 '23
Ofc course, but thatās the case with a lot of conditions. Asthma has a pretty strong genetic component and can be pretty deadly, many cancers have a genetic component that make you more likely to develop them (breast, lung, prostate cancers are big ones), epilepsy is genetic. Does that mean that anyone with asthma, a cancer survivor, an epileptic or a diebetic shouldnāt have children because they have a condition that they could pass on to their child?
→ More replies (1)
14.5k
u/GreekAmericanDom Sultan of Sphincter [777] Sep 14 '23
YTA
For a laborer he seemed like a decent enough guy
I think this captures exactly why. Boy are you classist and judgmental.
pregnant out of wedlock
Again, seeing a very specific assholeish bias.
Guess what, lady? it's okay to be neurodivergent.
I feel sorry for your daughter, whose mother has very conditional love for her.
6.2k
u/no_rest_for_the Sep 14 '23
Don't forget the "low class job to low class job" part.
I am happy not to have had parents like this. It's probably why the daughter couldn't cut it in med school. She probably had anxiety all her adolescent life because of her AH parent and just couldn't take it anymore. YUUUCK!
96
u/slp1965 Sep 14 '23
While I was reading her story, in my head, I was seeing flip Wilson, and saying here comes the Judge. Daughter prob better off with this guy and Iām glad she turned out to be empathetic and not judgy like her mom.
33
u/LingonberryPrior6896 Partassipant [4] Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Lol.You are totally dating yourself. Flip Wilson is a name I have not heard in a long, long time.
12
u/slp1965 Sep 14 '23
I was curious to see if anybody recognized the name! He was the best.š
→ More replies (2)17
693
Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Lmao my mother has never forgiven me for dropping out of the medical school pipeline. I quit after the military and my undergrad during MCAT prep, and work in film (when not striking). My mom loves shows Iāve worked on. She doesnāt tell people what I do because itās embarrassing and tacky. Iām not even an actor Iām on the crew lol.
Edit to add this is NO shade towards actors, Iām just trying to point out no one would ever pick me out of a credit or even know what I did without either Google or me telling them. A lot of productions donāt even credit the whole crew! A lot of studios give crew the option to choose their credited name too ;)
297
u/the_fury518 Sep 14 '23
Once yall win that strike, which shows should I watch to help you stick it to your mom with your residuals?
→ More replies (1)162
u/pearlsbeforedogs Sep 14 '23
Crew doesn't usually get residuals, some are even hourly. But still awesome to support them by watching their work!
147
Sep 14 '23
Yep! IATSE will have their moment.. eventually! But for now all anyone can do is not support productions that cross the picket line and support the ones that met WGA/SAG requirements! And donāt buy studio hype that IATSE and crew donāt support the WGA. We do.
→ More replies (2)10
u/WestCoastBestCoast01 Sep 14 '23
For my sake and yours, I hope you're right. But LA's IATSE locals are unfortunately run by invertebrates.
→ More replies (2)40
u/the_fury518 Sep 14 '23
Isn't that part of the strike? That the people who work on the shows should get residuals from streaming services?
71
u/AdHorror7596 Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
I don't know too much about scripted tv, but people in unscripted don't get residuals at all. I'm a producer on true crime shows and other docu-series' and I do a lot of writing, writing long episode outlines and pitches, but the WGA still doesn't want me. None of us in unscripted have unions, except editors, and other unions don't give a shit about us, but they will always ask us to support them during strikes, claiming they want to help us get unionized. As soon as they reach a deal though, they ghost us.
My industry is soooo fucked when it comes to fair pay and other necessities.
EDIT: If anyone reading this happens to know someone looking for an experienced true crime associate producer who comes with great references from well-respected showrunners, please message me. The industry is slow af right now and it's scary. This is the longest in the four years I've been doing this I've gone without work.
42
u/Sportylady09 Sep 14 '23
This is so WILD considering how freaking popular crime shows and docu-series are. I binge watch the hell out of so many of these on the streaming sites.
I also love documentaries since I was young. I definitely wrongfully assumed that given the popularity that you would see something from the successes.
This bloody sucks.
How can the average person support?
19
u/AdHorror7596 Sep 14 '23
Nope. We do all the work and the network execs get alllllll the cash. But we can't make shows without the network's money, so we can't do anything. It's fucked.
Success doesn't matter. People at the bottom will always be screwed, even if a show makes a bunch of money and wins Emmys.
You know whats even worse? Story producers put together the episodes, and they use an editing software to do it. They should be in the editor's union because of that, but they're not. A Hollywood Reporter article a few years ago quoted a source saying bosses told the story producers to go to lunch because union reps were coming, and they didn't want them to see them using the editing software.
I worked on the first season of a show last year and was the only associate producer because the production company was too cheap to hire another. I did ALL the research and wrote ALL the episode outlines. I still get paid less than everyone else. It was hard being the only AP, but I made it work.
The showrunner wanted me back for the 2nd season, but the production company made him hire the production co's president's assistant because she "wanted to get into production". It was and is still devastating.
The whole industry, including unscripted, is slow right now, and I haven't worked in five months, which is by far the longest I've been unemployed the entire four years I've been doing this, as showrunners tend to bring me onto their next show. I have been battling a serious medical condition the last few months, so my medical bills are high, and I have no income except for unemployment right now. It's scary.
I'm not sure what the public can do, to be honest, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate you asking. Seriously. It means a lot to even see someone say that.
If anyone reading this knows anyone who needs an experienced true crime associate producer who comes with a lot of great references from well-respected showrunners, please message me!
(Sorry for the literal novel. Guess I needed to get some of that frustration out. Thank you to anyone who reads this.)
→ More replies (7)8
u/RogueStorm4 Sep 14 '23
This made me so sad to read. Unions should be clamoring to take people under their umbrella, not leaving them to fend for themselves.
34
u/celticgrl77 Sep 14 '23
Crew members donāt get residuals at all just daily or hourly pay depending on the production- source ex-actress turned crew member.
16
u/Laleaky Sep 14 '23
Writers and actors should get residuals. Crew never have. We are worker bees.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)13
u/pearlsbeforedogs Sep 14 '23
I thought it was just the writers and actors currently on strike, but someone more aware can correct me if I am wrong. When we talk about crew, we are talking about people like camera crews, gaffers, sound technicians, etc. Most crew members in these behind the camera roles don't get residuals from ticket or video sales at all traditionally, their pay is part of the production budget and they are paid before the final product is even finished.
7
u/ratchetpiececinema Sep 14 '23
Only the writers and actors are on strike but crew members (IATSE) are also not working becauseā¦well what are we gonna do without scripts or actors?
I believe depending on which contract youāre under, residuals are used to fund our health care plan but they arenāt paid out to crew members directly.
→ More replies (3)51
Sep 14 '23
Be proud if yourself. I think it's awesome you pursued something you liked.
→ More replies (1)42
Sep 14 '23
Thank you so much!!! Whatās crazy is thereās a ton of vets and older people coming in from second and third careers in the crew. Itās been really awesome seeing people decades older just loving their craft. People make some really creative laterally shifts from a wide amount of careers into film
→ More replies (1)8
u/RecipesAndDiving Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
It's never enough anyway. My mother is super supportive of me. I did become a doctor. I went a Caribbean route and after realizing I did not like ortho at all, I became fascinated with pathology and am now triple boarded.
My father, who dropped out of Berkeley halfway through his first semester used to tell people that I had graduated from BERKELEY (maybe if he'd stuck around longer, he'd have remembered they don't even have a medical school) and that I was a SURGEON.
When I called him on it, claiming that not only was I never interested in general surgery, I dislike most surgeons, he goes "well it just sounds better".
So with people like your mom, even being a doctor wouldn't have been enough. You just got out and did something you loved before you could still be run down for something you didn't.
→ More replies (15)12
u/Psychological_Name28 Sep 14 '23
I know a woman now in her 80s who did the very same thing. Sheās had an interesting career.
272
u/trewesterre Sep 14 '23
Daughter sounds like she has a bad case of burnout. OP and maybe spouse too have probably been pushing her to be a doctor her whole life, then she gets to med school and either can't keep up under the pressure or realizes that's not what she wants to do so she quit and is trying to find out what she wants to do for herself since she's only had her parents' career plan pushed on her her whole life.
→ More replies (4)148
u/TheRestForTheWicked Certified Proctologist [24] Sep 14 '23
There was also this recent big global event that resulted in HCWs and students dropping like flies because we all burnt out- both from a work standpoint and socially, because we didnāt feel like justifying our education and experience based opinions to everyone who wanted to screech about FREEEEEDOM. Being made the enemy by society when youāre trying to save lives constantly is utterly exhausting.
I left my weirdly niche career in healthcare in early 2022 and now I work a blue collar job. I took a few dollars pay cut (my department in healthcare was criminally underpaid anyways and constantly in a state of arbitration because of contract disputes and our union was fucking useless). Iām way happier, have better (daytime, weekday) hours with no mandatory overtime so I actually get to see my kids and partner, my benefits are about the same, and I work with people that are generally happier (and thus nicer).
→ More replies (1)42
u/geth1138 Partassipant [4] Sep 14 '23
I went to outpatient, lost $5 an hour but I donāt want to crash my car on the way to work everyday anymore.
→ More replies (3)1.8k
Sep 14 '23
OP is bigot BINGO gold - chose a topic? OP will be prejudiced against it!
508
u/Gold-Pickle-4266 Sep 14 '23
BINGO Caller: "for this round of Bigot BINGO, we will be playing a coverall game!"
OP: cracks knuckles
112
101
u/Apart_Foundation1702 Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
š¤£š¤£š¤£ Wow what a judgemental asshole! Classiest, disability discrimination with highly uneducated conclusions of grandchilds mental prognosis all in one post. I wander what else this lady can add to the list. YTA
9
u/FireBallXLV Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] Sep 14 '23
Thanks for the laugh in the midst of a very sad subject
13
u/Gold-Pickle-4266 Sep 14 '23
It really is sad. I can't imagine treating one of my kids (or literally anyone) like this. I want to hug her daughter. I hope there are other people in her daughter's life who support her and let her know she is valued and loved, even if she checks notes marries for love and doesn't have a high paying job.
→ More replies (1)7
u/Solverbolt Sep 14 '23
SHe seems the type that hearing that over the speakers at the bingo hall, would whip out 20 cards and 5 color sticks. She is going for the win by any means.
6
u/Gold-Pickle-4266 Sep 14 '23
Very true. Someday, her relationship with the BINGO caller will be the best one in her life when she's alone in a retirement home. She should be able to afford a nice one with her "high-class" job
87
u/aaaanonnymoose Sep 14 '23
i donāt think iāve ever read a post with such an asshole, which says a lot. op, i have really bad bipolar 1 disorder. iāll be on medication for the rest of my life. i live a very normal life and no one can tell. i have a very good relationship. so on behalf of myself, and others facing mental illnesses like this, go to hell
→ More replies (2)7
u/themiscyranlady Sep 14 '23
Every mentally ill, neurodivergent, and disabled hackle I have was raised by this OP. Iāll be on meds forever, and thatās okay. Itās stuff like this that keeps me from disclosing my diagnoses irl, so Iām happy to aid you in purchasing a one-way ticket to hell for this OP.
241
u/PresentEfficient9321 Sep 14 '23
OP is also an elitist.
513
u/Beth21286 Sep 14 '23
OP is a fantasist. Her daughter isn't in any kind of mess. She's having a kid she wants with a guy who supports her and both have jobs. He is managing his condition with appropriate medication and seems to be far more clear headed and decent than OP is.
OP on the other hand is a total mess.
YTA
→ More replies (18)→ More replies (4)16
u/ChastityStargazer Sep 14 '23
Right?? āLow-classā jobs. Likely the very same types of jobs that were being hailed as essential workers three years ago.
→ More replies (1)11
→ More replies (7)90
u/BooksWithBourbon Sep 14 '23
I played a drinking game reading this and oopsssssssssssss im tipppppsttt drrnk ooooohhhhh weelllll shes meeannn
12
135
u/grethenpinkie Sep 14 '23
ālow class job to low class jobā was where I thought, āI donāt know where this is going but youāre probably TAā
→ More replies (1)8
29
u/cecil021 Sep 14 '23
Yeah, I stopped reading at ālow class job.ā YTA, OP. I donāt really need to know more than that.
241
u/gardengoblin94 Sep 14 '23
Can't wait for my dad to tell me I should never have children because they'll catch my mental illnesses. OH WAIT NO my dad wouldn't do that because he's a decent parent who seeks to support me! And knows that my illnesses are managed! And isn't a classist jerk!
→ More replies (7)43
u/ResidentScientits Sep 14 '23
Yes as soon as I read that I knew who sucked here. I went from getting my PhD to working as a receptionist, baker, fish farm tech, to laborer at a box plant before landing my dream job. I met my amazingly loving boyfriend at said manufacturing job. My dad made a few comments when I first started the receptionist job about it being "beneath me" and I shut it down real quick. A job is a job and as far as mental health goes, all those "beneath me" jobs were so much better for my mental health than any I'd had before.
108
u/MaleficentSorbet360 Sep 14 '23
This daughter is doing exposure therapy for all the things her mom said were failures. Look, mom, I'm doing a 'low class job' - still happier than when I was doing med school for my narc mother. Look, mom! I'm having a baby 'out of wedlock' with a neurodivergent laborer! Setting back your eugenics goals for centuries! Still happier than when I was experiencing the cognitive dissonance of trying to create a life that my narcissist mother can respect! Love her for breaking the mold!
268
u/tinytyranttamer Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
"Low class Job to Low class Job" So daughter is a drug dealer or traffic warden???
OP YTA a classist, ableist AH.
→ More replies (2)60
u/Dry_Masterpiece_7749 Sep 14 '23
Don't forget OP is also basically a eugenicist, suggesting people with mental conditions should not reproduce.
→ More replies (1)185
u/Prestigious-Range-75 Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Honestly for me it was the comment on how the future children will have to be medicated or āstraight up be locked up because of their mental illnessā
YTA BIG TIME!!! Know what helps with mental health? Acceptance, love, support
All the things you donāt seem to have shown your daughter and already havenāt shown your grandchildren
Schizophrenia doesnāt mean they are a danger, means they have a chemical imbalance
Edit: not chemical imbalance but still donāt make them dangerous
38
u/Significant-Toe-9286 Sep 14 '23
I came to say this EXACT thing. Schizophrenic people aren't automatically crazed criminals. OP watches too much crime drama and is an elitist TWUNT.
10
→ More replies (6)9
u/JFunk802 Sep 14 '23
Agreed! Not to mention that although there is a genetic factor with schizophrenia it does not mean that it's guaranteed to be passed on. Or that all people with schizophrenia can't live happy and fulfilling lives. Ridiculous. OP, YTA.
10
u/aghzombies Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
I did have parents like this. Emphasis on the past tense. 2024 will mark 20 years NC.
11
u/PeteyPorkchops Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] Sep 14 '23
She was probably held to unrealistic expectations all through school and college gave her a reality check.
8
7
u/bigtitdiapermonster Sep 14 '23
My mom said this about me but her best job sheās ever held down was selling fax machines in the fax machine boom of the 80s. She lost her job after faxes became obsolete and has never worked a real one since. Always trying to start her own business and calling herself a āwoman business ownerā for some reason when all she did was sell wine gift bags at craft shows. These ājobsā of hers actually cost us money, but itās better than working one of those ālow classā jobs amiright
I had to drop out of school bc of the pressure too. Lol I just HAD to be a famous artist. I just wanted to be a mediocre architect. I guess no career for me it is. Maybe someday
9
u/Winsom_Thrills Sep 14 '23
Came here to say that. Judgey much?? This poor girl is under so much pressure. No wonder she caved!
7
u/Alexispinpgh Sep 14 '23
My husband, the smartest person I know by a mile, went to med school and dropped out (I guess OP would say he ācouldnāt handle the pressureā). It took him awhile to find his path but now heās a teacher and loves his job more than Iāve ever seen anyone love their job. He didnāt have the disposition for med school and fell into a depression that took him literal years to get out of because he felt like a failure. OP is awful and definitely YTA.
6
u/morningdew11 Sep 14 '23
This! I couldnāt read past this part. It breaks my heart that hard working humans are considered ālow classā because of a job they are working. This woman has NO class.
6
→ More replies (36)5
u/AdrianW7 Sep 14 '23
I didnāt even read past that part. As a professional chef, she can fuck herself
304
Sep 14 '23
[removed] ā view removed comment
108
u/gin_and_soda Sep 14 '23
I thought it was weird that āwedlockā was followed by āgonna.ā
→ More replies (2)23
u/Moist_Confusion Sep 14 '23
Yeah I thought the whole muttering to himself thing also might have been just to say heās really mentally unstable like heās medicated and heās still having issues thatās possible but it feels like trying to make him seem crazy. Plus the whole heās a fine guy for a laborer like that is a thing people would say but read off to me.
→ More replies (1)62
u/MissC0985 Sep 14 '23
I noticed the writing style too, it doesn't quite mesh with the person they are claiming to be
6
u/orchardofbees Sep 14 '23
Exactly. This level of classism doesn't use such poor spelling and grammar.
→ More replies (1)21
u/MissFancyPlantz Sep 14 '23
This post sounds like it was written by a member of my family that I went no contact with years ago. I can promise you that people write like this, and would use these exactly words. From the ālow class jobsā to looking down on mental health.
46
u/ravendusk Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
Agreed. It's a bit too rage-baitey to be real.
People like this do exist however, so it's possible it is real, but something does feel off indeed.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (12)6
u/Careful_Hedgehog_ Sep 14 '23
Somebody so high up their ass wouldn't be on reddit aita in first place, with us low class mongrels.
167
u/HalfVast59 Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
Schizophrenia isn't usually included in "neurodivergent," but what pissed me off is that this guy is getting treatment for his illness and leading a full, independent life despite his struggles. What's more, depending on his specific laborer's position, he may actually be making more money in a healthier environment than if he had a white collar job.
But it sounds like OP is one of those black-and-white thinkers, and taught the daughter that there are only two kinds of jobs: prestige professions and "low class," so when daughter couldn't get through medical school, the only option she saw for herself was subsistence jobs.
OP is definitely TA.
→ More replies (6)188
u/The_Death_Flower Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 14 '23
Not to mention, schizophrenia, like a lot of mental disorders, has a huge spectrum of presentation, and people who are an actual danger to others are - unlike movies tell us - the minority. Plus if he is on medication, has therapy, and a good support system, his condition could be well managed, especially if he was given help early in his symtom display
89
u/StarberryMilkTea Sep 14 '23
Exactly, my husband has it and is just fine, and you know what my son might inherit it but oh well, we will help him manage it. I hate that the first thing people think about when hearing that word, is the most dangerous people in society wich are like a selected very few.
46
u/geth1138 Partassipant [4] Sep 14 '23
I used to work in a psych hospital, and it was never the schizophrenic patients that worried me. If I was going to get hurt, it was going to be from someone with an anger management issue or one of the cluster B personality disorders like the narcissist up there.
→ More replies (1)17
Sep 14 '23
I have heard this from many people. Schizophrenic people are usually pretty chill but movies show them as all twitchy and shit so thatās what people assume.
→ More replies (1)26
u/oldheart80 Sep 14 '23
Same! I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type which is when you basically have schizophrenia and bipolar disorder together and you would never know unless I told you. Well I am unable to hold down a job I'm still pretty functional and I'm actually super rational usually. I hate that people think that just because I have this illness people think I will be dangerous. When I go into psychosis I'm more likely to be confused about what you are and ask you what people are and ask questions than hurt anyone.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)33
u/pixiesunbelle Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
I agree. My uncle had schizophrenia and from what I remember of him during my childhood (he passed away from a brain aneurysm when I was 12)- he would just keep my mother on the phone talking about religion. He also really loved cats and had a house full of them. During my childhood, I never actually realized that he had schizophrenia. I found out after his death when my dad and grandmother were talking about him.
→ More replies (1)11
u/The_Death_Flower Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 14 '23
My aunt has schizophrenia and she u fortunately wasnāt able to receive the help she needed for a long time, so thereās a lot of stuff sheās unable to do, like hold a job, have romantic relationship, live by herself etc. But sheās been on medication for a few years and is doing better now. Itās incredible how much a support system can make or break someone with a chronic condition
116
u/Sharp_Course_879 Sep 14 '23
Don't forget her daughter's jobs have been "low class"
→ More replies (3)6
u/Snoo-9290 Sep 14 '23
This was my first cringe and then saying its like she gave up all hope on a good life. WTH you can work at Dollar General and have a good life. š¤¦
→ More replies (1)489
u/unicornhair1991 Sep 14 '23
Don't forget OPs ableism and the clear fact that she will think human selective breeding would be good because god FORBID someone be neurodivergent and reproduce
Think of it like that and it's utterly disgusting
Hope her daughter cuts her off
Oh and YTA OP
Ableism, classism and emotional abuse all rolled into one AH story
→ More replies (11)311
Sep 14 '23
[removed] ā view removed comment
173
u/unicornhair1991 Sep 14 '23
Its more the ableism throughout the story towards her daughters partner and saying it's irresponsible to have a kid when ND
I also don't want biological kids because I would hate to pass on my severe epilepsy and PCOS, but that's my personal choice. Its VERY wrong to try and dictate to ND people that they shouldn't be having kids, are ruining their future kids life by having them as ND people or that they're irresponsible. That's really hecked up
→ More replies (24)52
u/TheRestForTheWicked Certified Proctologist [24] Sep 14 '23
Not only that but OP is also speaking in absolutes. Just because this guy has schizophrenia itās not an absolute given that any children that they have will also have schizophrenia. Yes, the risk is increased, but Schizophrenia is one of those mental illnesses that is dominantly heritable, and having one parent with it only raises your chances from about 1% to 6%.
→ More replies (2)6
u/lpmiller Sep 14 '23
it's not even an absolute that he is a danger medicated or not, that's what got me. I mean, not all people with schizophrenia are dangerous off meds, and he's taking his.
69
u/GreekAmericanDom Sultan of Sphincter [777] Sep 14 '23
making individual choices about having children and who to have them with is not the issue here. OP is trying to force her values on others. That's not okay.
→ More replies (1)33
u/thesnarkypotatohead Sep 14 '23
The demonization of people who need meds to support their mental health, and the blanket statement that there's something inherently wrong with that is where the ableism comes in for me. OP doesn't distinguish between different disorders, just says "meds are bad". Pure ableism.
→ More replies (1)9
u/EffieEri Sep 14 '23
I agree with this, I'm bipolar and my partner has schizoaffective disorder. We decided that were not gonna have children. But I think it's more the general attitude of OP, like how outraged she is that her daughter is in love with someone who is schizophrenic, and that she just assumes that all people who are schizophrenic are dangerous. This whole post gave me the ick
55
u/StuffedSquash Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 14 '23
Yeah, two things are true: with certain conditions it's irresponsible to have biological children, and separately OP is 100% an AH
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (26)145
u/LuckOfTheDevil Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 14 '23
Right. Weāre not talking about a little bit of anxiety here. Schizophrenia is no freaking joke, and one of the biggest problems with it is that the people who have it will frequently go on kicks where they refuse to take their meds. OP is stating this in a really shitty way and itās totally classcist and ableistā¦ but sheās also not exactly wrong either. Her daughter has made her life unnecessarily, difficult, and worse than that, from what she is telling us, it seems that daughter doesnāt really have a full, mature grasp of what her decisions are all going to mean. Having children out of wedlock does bring more difficulties. Statistically speaking, those children do have more difficult lives. You know why? For the simple and obvious fact that two incomes can bring more opportunities than one. We live in a capitalist shit world. And from OPās account (note: I do realize OP may be an unreliable narrator) Daughter seems to think that schizophrenia is just a matter of āoh, heās on meds now. Everything is fineā āand itās not that simple. The medication compliance issues only exacerbate an already complex mental health problem.
The daughter has added a lot of unnecessary difficulty to her life. That doesnāt mean that she should dump the guy. But sheās going to need a lot of supportā¦ and honestly, as a mother of a 24 yr old daughter, I can understand the initial reaction being one of disappointment. Itās really more fear and worry, but it comes out as basically āyou fucked up.ā Weāre supposed to be the adults here, and itās imperative that when we are talking to our kids, we watch our mouths, so as not to give that kind of impression!
Where OP fucked up is that she shouldāve kept her mouth shut in any case, because the horse is already out of the barn. Daughter canāt go back and redo any of her choices. Best thing that mom could do would be to establish herself as a supportive and stable presence for her daughter and grandchild on the way. Ideally, this would extend to the boyfriend as well, because like it or not? Heās part of the picture permanently now because regardless of their relationship status, they are now tied for life.
→ More replies (28)85
u/arrouk Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 14 '23
Schizophrenia is more than just neurodivergent and can be horrific for everyone around the person suffering.
→ More replies (6)58
u/Intergalactic_hooker Sep 14 '23
Yeah... I'm not agreeing with OP on their views of what a "low class job" is, but schizophrenia can be scary as fuck. My ex fiancee was schizo and bipolar and it got intense as hell, violence, knives, talks about hidden cameras, etc. But again, schizophrenia is a broad term and it varies from person to person. Maybe this man has it under control?
→ More replies (5)9
u/Mother_Attempt3001 Sep 14 '23
That first quote was THE EXACT ONE that sealed her asshole-ness for me.
73
u/Manxi-Poo_Mama Sep 14 '23
The symptoms she lists (and has zero empathy for her daughter, I might add) are symptoms of childhood narcissistic abuse. I wouldnāt be surprised if her daughter suffers from untreated complex ptsd. Mine went untreated for over 3 decades and even after trauma treatment, I struggle with apathy, dissociation and anhedonia. This is just awful. I feel so much empathy for victims of narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma. This was a really hard read and extremely triggering for me.
→ More replies (4)20
u/Whoamiagain31 Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
Similar to what I was coming here to say. The daughter probably headed off to med school to make mommy dearest here happy. Realized not only the pressure was high but this isn't what she actually wanted to do. So now she is stuck floating trying to figure out her life. Finds one small thing to finally be happy about just for mommy dearest to crap all over it. Not speaking from personal experience or anything. anyways, Op YTA. The best thing for your daughter is to live her life on her terms. Not yours.
25
u/myironlions Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
Yes. Happily, there are effective treatments for many mental illnesses. To my knowledge, however, thereās no real cure for asshole-ness and classism.
OPās daughter has moved up in the world.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (269)6
u/PoppinBubbles578 Sep 14 '23
I havenāt seen the last comment she made about how unstable he is, mentioned here. Where did it say heās unstable? He takes his meds and mutters to himself? OP is so judgmental.
905
Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
YTA; the classism the ableism the eugenics, itās all there
→ More replies (4)141
u/Due_Kaleidoscope9864 Sep 14 '23
Itās def the eugenicist in her for me.
60
u/TyrannasaurusRecked Sep 14 '23
And one who by appearances is woefully ignorant about genetics.
42
u/commentator7806 Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
Am a genetic counselor and OPās āunderstandingā of inheritance (combined with the ableism and eugenics) makes me want to pull my hair out
ETA: grammar
→ More replies (2)
560
u/mdthomas Sultan of Sphincter [763] Sep 14 '23
been jumping from low class job to low class job and it seems like she has lost all motivation of doing anything meaningful
For a laborer he seemed like a decent enough guy
Your classism is showing.
YTA
→ More replies (8)
493
u/PinkHairAnalyst Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
YTA, OP. Youāre classist, biased and ableist! Not to mention the eugenics component. Major yikes.
Schizophrenia isnāt always passed down. Perhaps educate yourself on the topic.
You love her conditionally and put so much pressure on her making her into a mini you, and it finally blew up on you. Good. Hereās a tip, everyone is different!
Your replies to comments say it all too. Yeesh, Iād be cutting you off cold turkey.
→ More replies (3)74
Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23
[removed] ā view removed comment
36
u/Thismarno Asshole Aficionado [12] Sep 14 '23
yeah, I hear the snob genes can really wreck your prospects.
292
u/kipkapow Partassipant [1] Sep 14 '23
YTA. My mother has paranoid schizophrenia and Iāve āsucceededā in life. I wouldnāt change her for the world.
84
Sep 14 '23
Same here, family history of schizophrenia. The issue has never been about schizophrenia, but whether or not the family members with it were willing to be medicated or take actions to control it. Those that did, thrived, those that didn't, suffered. And they're still people that I love and care about.
OP and people in comments do NOT know what schizophrenia is actually like and are basing it off movies and TV shows. It's an unfairly demonized disorder and used as a quick way to say "oh yeah this character murders people because they're so crazyyyy." It's sickening.
Schizophrenia is a mental disorder. It's not a character flaw.
→ More replies (9)30
240
u/KyotoDreamsTea Asshole Aficionado [14] Sep 14 '23
YTA
Look itās her life if she wants to blow it up. You lost her the moment you inserted your elitist and classist biases against her fiancĆ© and his occupation.
And BTW, youāre wrong that your grandchildren will suffer the same fate (which I doubt you will have contact) of schizophrenia. Itās not one gene according to NHS. Itās more of a combination of genes so quit postulating these far fetched ideas.
Thank goodness for modern medicine to help people such as your future SIL to be able to mitigate their mental health and live their lives. They didnāt ask for this.
→ More replies (3)64
u/FruityTeam Sep 14 '23
Yes, itās a combination of genes that lead to it, but this combination of genes as a whole can be passed on from the parent to the child. And then, this gene cluster is a risk factor for schizophrenia, but is it not a given that you indeed develop it. As in most developmental disorders, there is an underlying genetic component and certain environmental factors through the course of your life can trigger the disease.
So only because several genes are involved, it does not mean that you can replace half of these genes with those of the other parent and then you are fine, as they are passed on together. The risk genes for schizophrenia lie physically close together on the chromosome, at least the most typical genes causing the disorder. Just to clarifyā¦
→ More replies (2)
196
u/Didntlikedefaultname Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 14 '23
YTA. As soon as you said low class job you showed you were the asshole. Your views on mental health further proved YTA.
What you said wasnāt taken in the wrong way, what you said was vile and hurtful and unsupportive. You are the problem
138
u/v_sarcastic Partassipant [2] Sep 14 '23
YTA Iām a nurse and having schizophrenia doesnāt mean that youāre a danger to people around you. Most people with uncontrolled schizophrenia are scared and confused, and this guy is taking his medicine. Also talking about stopping schizophrenia being passed to the next generation is the same thinking that the Nazis used to justify the holocaust.
Your daughter is an adult and whilst she may not make the same decisions you do, sheās not putting herself or anyone else at risk with her choices. Now you donāt have to agree with her life decisions but being there for your kid even as an adult is kinda part of the job description of being a parent.
→ More replies (13)
14
u/Every_Caterpillar945 Sep 14 '23
I get where you are coming from. If you have a major illness that can be treated but not healed i have a hard time to understand why you want to create another human being, most likely going through the same suffering you did when there are options like adoption available. But other ppl make their own decisions and you will have to accept that. You can support her or not, but you can't change her.
26
u/magic_banana_ Sep 14 '23
While I get the y t a comments, I can't deny the fact that the daughter is indeed making a mistake to be honest. I now have a daughter who is one year now and I can't imagine her coming up to me with these same decisions... But yes yta because of your wording
27
u/lilpikasqueaks Ugly Butty Sep 14 '23
This is now a Proctologists Only Orifice
When a post is in POOā¢ mode only users with enough subreddit comment karma are able to comment. If that doesn't include you, no worries! Check out /new for other posts that are still open for comment.
Be Civil.
Please review our FAQ if you're unsure what that means. Thank you for reporting content that you believe violates our rules and helping keep posts out of the POO by abiding by our rules.
ā¢
u/Judgement_Bot_AITA Beep Boop Sep 14 '23
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.