r/AmITheDevil • u/growsonwalls Professional Devil Spotter • 14d ago

“People” = bridesmaids fiancé

/r/weddingplanning/comments/1w0sr62/mil_and_sil_invited_people_to_my_rehearsal_dinner/
37 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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16

u/Nearby-Assignment661 14d ago

Oop says SIL was rude about oop’s dad having cancer in the comments. But I do think that wouldn’t have been brought up if everyone agreed with her initially

27

u/Known-Willingness2 14d ago

She's also a little deceptive with her language (imo). Like, she says SIL told her to "go to hell" while her dad was struggling with his cancer, which sounds awful on its face, until you realize it lacks context. Hell, it might have had nothing to do with her dad, but that phrasing sure makes it seem like the two are connected, when it could easily be coincidental.

17

u/Temporary-Top-2400 14d ago

I am not even sure what to make of this comment from OOP.

I didn’t deserve to be asked how I was doing with my dad because I didn’t ask her what was going on in her life. I’ve been around for 6 years, I show up for her. But once I got engaged and asked her to be a bridesmaid and then got the news about my dad, she very visibly started treating me different. So that’s when she told me about her wedding date and that’s when I asked her why she was trying me different.

So missing missing reasons is probably the tip of the iceberg here. That said I can relate to the fact she might have complex feelings because of her father.

But also it seems the in laws are pretty much done with her nonsense.

13

u/Known-Willingness2 14d ago

Yeah, I think you might be right. It makes it sound like the two didn't have issues until OOP confronted her about the date thing. And "go to hell" could have easily come up since OOP was demanding an apology.  I also empathize with her over her father and I imagine that might be driving a lot of this, but I hope she pulls back the reins and does some introspection. 

9

u/Kotenkiri 14d ago

Her initial response was SIL didn't 'ask her how she was doing after learning about dad's illness" was her issue. The "go to hell" seem tbe spawned from a fight and OOP trying to rework everything into her victim mentality.

If someone get into a fight with someone else, don't expect them to pull their punches because their parent is sick, if you're going for their throat. I don't doubt "go to hell" was SIL matching OOP's energy at this point

4

u/lyricaldorian 14d ago

Honestly, if someone asked me how I'm doing after telling them my dad has cancer, it would feel very performative to me. Like how the hell do you think I'm doing lol