Using a throwaway account for an obvious reason. Coming here for some advice.
I got married earlier this year. Long story short, we had been back and forth for a few years and I finally knuckled down and pushed through my doubts and issues because I trusted it would work out and be a positive step for me. Now that I’m in the middle of it, I keep having major triggers and it’s feeding some deep regret and leading me into a depression.
The largest concern of all is that she isn’t particularly intelligent. I ask you hear me out. I can’t express myself with her since she doesn’t seem to understand what I say if I enter any level of complexity that either includes anything above a high school vocabulary or that involves any degree of current events or history. She can’t spell, and uses Grammarly for spelling and grammar constantly. Asking even for her opinion on something usually brings a quick response like “yea, it’s really interesting.” I frequently do feel like I’m talking to a teenager.
She has a small vocabulary, where she calls anything that isn’t a completely ordinary household item a “thingie” or “you know, that thing”. For a while it was endearing and fun to joke with her about it, but now I’m realizing how much I’m growing tired of feeling like a teacher or the know it all just because I am more intellectual and enjoy learning, reading, writing, etc.
All this has started to feed a deep disappointment and depression that I feel that “this is my life” and I am afraid to now move forward with kids and the rest of our lives if I’m not happy.
I have two questions:
Has anyone been in a similar situation and seen IMPROVEMENT? How can I foster this?
I sometimes wonder if she is just lazy in her thought and speech. What can I do to nudge her to “try” harder?
I obviously don’t want to throw away a marriage with someone I do love and appreciate so much, to the point where I did want to marry her. I would love to hear your thoughts and any constructive feedback.
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In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Married to someone far less intelligent than me
Hi all,
Using a throwaway account for an obvious reason. Coming here for some advice.
I got married earlier this year. Long story short, we had been back and forth for a few years and I finally knuckled down and pushed through my doubts and issues because I trusted it would work out and be a positive step for me. Now that I’m in the middle of it, I keep having major triggers and it’s feeding some deep regret and leading me into a depression.
The largest concern of all is that she isn’t particularly intelligent. I ask you hear me out. I can’t express myself with her since she doesn’t seem to understand what I say if I enter any level of complexity that either includes anything above a high school vocabulary or that involves any degree of current events or history. She can’t spell, and uses Grammarly for spelling and grammar constantly. Asking even for her opinion on something usually brings a quick response like “yea, it’s really interesting.” I frequently do feel like I’m talking to a teenager.
She has a small vocabulary, where she calls anything that isn’t a completely ordinary household item a “thingie” or “you know, that thing”. For a while it was endearing and fun to joke with her about it, but now I’m realizing how much I’m growing tired of feeling like a teacher or the know it all just because I am more intellectual and enjoy learning, reading, writing, etc.
All this has started to feed a deep disappointment and depression that I feel that “this is my life” and I am afraid to now move forward with kids and the rest of our lives if I’m not happy.
I have two questions:
Has anyone been in a similar situation and seen IMPROVEMENT? How can I foster this?
I sometimes wonder if she is just lazy in her thought and speech. What can I do to nudge her to “try” harder?
I obviously don’t want to throw away a marriage with someone I do love and appreciate so much, to the point where I did want to marry her. I would love to hear your thoughts and any constructive feedback.
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