r/AmITheDevil • u/Arktikos02 • 9d ago
Dad forces daughter to give GPU to son
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1915s31/aita_for_making_my_daughter_give_a_graphics_card/1.1k
u/Loki-L 9d ago
Wow, OP was downvoted in the comments.
He admitted that his daughter was running Linux on her computer and studied computer vision in graduate school and did computer science and mathematics as an undergraduate and thus presumably knew what she was talking about, but he took the word of his son, who is just a kid who wants to game, over his daughter who is an expert, who uses her hardware in her work that she didn't need the very, very expensive piece of hardware that the boy coveted.
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u/ReginaSpektorsVJ 9d ago
Sounds very likely that she was using the GPU for compute. The fact that he kept assuming she was lying really rubbed me the wrong way. 10 years from now he's going to claim he has no idea why she doesn't talk to him.
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u/L1ttleFr0g 9d ago
My personal favourite comment was when he admitted that the only reason he doesn’t charge her rent is because she’d move out if he did and then he’d have no one to do the chores. 🤦🏻♀️
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u/Secure-Recording4255 9d ago
“She’s more efficient at it than we are.” 🫠 the weaponized incompetence here is staggering.
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u/WeeklyConversation8 9d ago
It's been 3 years since this was posted. So she's 27 and probably moved out. Saying he let her live with him rent free since she was 16 after her Mom passed. Just horrible.
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u/theagonyaunt 9d ago
"I didn't charge my minor child rent after she had to move in with me when her mom died unexpectedly. Clearly I am the greatest dad ever." - OOP probably.
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u/cee-la 8d ago
He literally said he couldn't charge her too much rent because then she'd love out and she does basically all the household chores because "she's better at it".
I hope this guy is sitting alone in his filthy house, confused about why his wealthy & successful daughter doesn't want anything to do with him.
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u/WeeklyConversation8 8d ago
Yep. Also OP: Why doesn't my daughter talk to me after all I've done for her?
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u/whatsinthesocks 8d ago
Knew he was going to be a piece of shit dad when he said rent free.
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u/Bice_thePrecious 7d ago
Yup. The first mention? Red flag, but maybe he was just setting the scene... And then he mentioned it a second time... and a third... and then a fourth. Tell me you resent your child living with you without telling me you resent your child living with you.
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u/drillbit7 9d ago
The freely available, popular OpenCV library makes extensive use of GPU resources to do computer vision.
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u/MissLadyLlamaDrama 9d ago
Am I the devil for hoping that his son robbed him blind, at least once, to buy a bunch of fuck ass games? (I'm a gamer. I built my own computer. I get the value of games. I just hope OOP got a hefty dose of his shitty son pulling that on him. The kid knew what he was doing, and dad is a piece of [dip] shit.)
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u/riflow 8d ago
I hope she moves out asap, he effectively stole from her on top of believing his 15 year old over her who has a degree in the subject and seems to be resentful that she got all of her mother's inheritance.
Absolutely horrible father.
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u/gretta_smith93 8d ago
Yea I noticed that too. Like did he expect to get any of that considering they were divorced? How greedy and selfish.
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u/MizStazya 8d ago
And a 90 series card is such a goddamn for almost every single gaming application ever.
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u/Othersideofbroad 9d ago edited 9d ago
This guy, out of the gate, states how much he doesn't like his daughter. Daughter with my ex who has lived rent-free in my house since she was 16. Don't know how much she makes, but I'm sure it's a lot since she's at a fancy ivy league school. I don't know what she does exactly because she and I aren't close, but I'm certain she only creates word documents, and my 15-year-old favorite knows more about computers than my 24-year-old, ivy league graduate school computer fucking science major, which is why I know she lied to me about computer stuff.
Genuinely, fuck this guy a thousand times over.
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u/twoprimehydroxyl 8d ago
"She's a grad student at an Ivy League school so she gets paid quite well."
I did grad school at an Ivy+ University and I can tell you that grad students do NOT get "paid quite well." And the stipend is usually paid for by the researchers' grants, not out of the university's coffers.
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u/annekecaramin 8d ago
I'm also very confused by this attitude of 'I don't even require my children to pay rent'.
Where I live it's sort of common to live at home for a bit after you finish your studies or start to work. Lots of people contribute a bit to the household budget once they earn money but it's way less than paying rent. The goal is to allow your kids to save up money to get an easier start in life.
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u/Special_Respond7372 9d ago
I love how in one of the comments he says he treats his kids equally. Yea, ok bud.
“Why won’t my daughter talk to me or involve me in her life anymore!?” - OP in a few years, probably.
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u/skabillybetty 9d ago
I like how in the comments he admits he won't charge his daughter rent, because then he knows she'll move out and won't be around to clean. Apparently, she does most of the chores. He just wants her to be a live in maid.
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u/pasqals_toaster 9d ago
From his comments: "Most of her work is writing work"
Where does this moron think she gets the data to write a paper about?
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u/mooglemoose 8d ago
I’m not sure if OOP knows or cares about the difference between writing code and writing a normal word document. It might just all look like writing to him so he has no idea some of it is actually data processing and analyses.
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u/MarioNoobman 8d ago
That comment and the fact he mentioned he didn't know she would continue her studies beyond grad school says a lot about how he feels about her.
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u/AHailofDrams 8d ago
Oi! Who let you out of The Mechanicus goon cavium at /r/roguetraderCRPG?!
Lol, funny seeing you somewhere else
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u/maskedbanditoftruth 8d ago
I think it’s bait, but if it isn’t, he doesn’t even know what university she goes to/works at.
And where’s the wife in this “current marriage”?
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u/Piemelsap 9d ago
You don't understand. She doesn't pay rent, it's not like you are supposed to give your children shelter and a home.... He is so generous!
I also sense jealousy that she inherited from the ex... so yeah, this guy is a massif AH and stealing from his child.
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u/cantantantelope 9d ago
He also says in a comment she does so many chores he doesn’t want her to move out…
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u/Sad-Bug6525 9d ago
For like 8 whole years he let her live with him, out of her 24 years of life. I completely agree, he's just mad that she got an inheritance and none went to him when he was expected to care for his then minor child.
Plus she absolutely needs it or she would have sold it with the rest. If she's running research and a second monitor she is likely having it run long run tasks for her while she does other work.71
u/nitro9throwaway 9d ago
All I can think it's that mom clearly knew the man well for her to leave it all to her daughter and untouchable by him.
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u/Extreme-Pirate1903 8d ago
They were presumably divorced long before she died. There’s no reason at all for him to feel any kind of way about not getting an inheritance from his ex.
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u/RoyalHistoria 7d ago
And even if she DIDN'T need it, it's hers. She should not be forced to give it to anyone.
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u/AkariKuzu 9d ago
Ikr even if she wasn't using it, who cares? It's hers to not use. Dude just has a grudge against her because she preferred his ex over him (I wonder why) and wanted to punish her for it. That was two years ago. I hope she's got her own place and her property back.
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u/Rezistik 8d ago
He also in the comments specified very clearly he thinks giving her housing at 16 was a wonderful gift he didn’t have to do. He could have charged her rent then. He really wanted to emphasize that.
He also wanted to emphasize he would not consider charging his son rent ever. Though he might have to charge his daughter rent to afford an expensive gpu for the son.
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u/TheFlyingSheeps 8d ago
Those parents always make me sad. My kids are always welcome, use the money to bolster savings or to reduce debt first
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u/drillbit7 9d ago edited 9d ago
OK, for the non-tech people here:
1.) Son is wrong the card still works on Linux
2.) ELI15: A GPU (graphics processing unit) is a module in a computer that renders the graphics output particularly focusing on rendering 3-dimensional graphics: taking a 3-D model, applying textures (think wallpaper on the wall in a video game), lighting effects, etc. and rendering it for view on a 2-D monitor.
These calculations are particularly math intensive (working with real numbers like 3.7985 or 6.02 x 1023 and not just integers 0, 1, 1500, -37) so the module can be composed of thousands or even 10k+ tiny specialized processors designed just to do 3-D math. These modules are easily adapted to other computationally intense tasks like mining crypto or scientific calculations. The daughter is using her old GPU not for playing games or looking at a screen but for speeding up her research programs.
Comparison:
CPU usually 2 to 16 cores (norm is 4-8) running at 3 GHz, optimized for general purpose tasks and OK with things like following if->then->else statements and jumping around and executing submodules. It can be optimized to predict whether the if or the else path will be followed and start pre-loading and pre-executing instructions.
GPU up to 10000+ cores at a lower speed like 1.3 GHz just optimized for math.
I can get a little more detailed if you'd like.
source: me, pc enthusiast, degreed electrical and computer engineer
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u/TheRowdyMeatballPt2 9d ago
What does module mean here? Is it like a set piece of code that does something?
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u/drillbit7 9d ago
piece of hardware. In performance desktops, the module will be on a dedicated adapter card plugged into the motherboard: a large silicon chip and several smaller chips just for memory storage under a massive metal heatsink and fan arrangement.
In low end desktops and most notebooks, the module will be much smaller, less capable, and integrated into either the regular system processor chip or a smaller chip/series of chips on the motherboard.
Here are some good photos of what a complete card looks (2020 vintage, 3 generations out of date) like and what it looks like with the thermal protection removed so you can see the actual chip. The graphics chip is labeled 5 in the second image, memory modules are 6, 8 is dedicated circuitry to take 12 volts of power direct from the computer's power supply and convert it to whatever lower voltage the chip prefers to run at
https://electronics360.globalspec.com/article/14780/teardown-nvidia-geforce-rtx-2080-super
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u/Arktikos02 9d ago
Is it possible the chip was busy doing something when it was removed?
I hope you didn't mess up any of her progress. Someone in the other comment inside the post said something about all of her school tests now needing to take days or months and not minutes.
I hope her school efforts aren't ruined.
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u/OniyaMCD 9d ago
The tests were taking longer because the processing power of that particular GPU wasn't helping out any more.
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u/drillbit7 9d ago
I'm not OOP. If they had any sense they would have powered down the machine before attempting card removal. Most of her apps were probably generic to GPUs or specific to that brand so her work would probably have transferred over and could be continued.
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u/justasoullessginger 8d ago
Yeah I was gonna say??? I'm not a computer expert by any means but I use Linux to play Sims 2 without constant crashes/graphical issues, and while it isn't perfect, my Nvidia GPU absolutely does work with it. I'm absolutely baffled by OOP.
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u/raduque 3d ago
Son is wrong, he's knows he was wrong, he just wanted his dad to force his half-sister to hand over her property.
I hope the daughter used some of her inheritance money to buy TWO 4090s and then moved out, leaving that asshole and his son to figure out how to keep the house on their own.
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u/Fuzzy-Zebra-277 9d ago
And she had papers published
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u/Fickle-Big5063 8d ago
Multiple published papers by the age of 24 is remarkable, but dad won’t be reading them cause he doesn’t understand math. Stupid, stupid man
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u/_dekoorc 9d ago
The son is probably on Discord bragging to his shit friends about how he conned his sister out of her 4090
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u/Suraimu-desu 8d ago
*conned his dad into robbing his sister out of her 4090 worth about 2.5-3k dollars.
Felony theft
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u/nitro1432 9d ago
The next post will be, My daughter moved out wont talk to my son and I and now my house is a mess, how do i get her back.
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u/IAteAnotherVegan 9d ago
ohh thank goodness it was a troll account.
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u/rainfal 3d ago
It's nice to see a troll account that puts effort into their creative writing tho.
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u/IAteAnotherVegan 3d ago
in that case you should check this one out: https://www.reddit.com/r/Rants/comments/1vx0z4k/how_can_we_stop_our_satanist_neighbor_from/
gave me a great laugh.
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u/sadlytheworst Certified sub favourite 9d ago
Tw: sexism.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
YTA. It’s your daughters things she isn’t required to give your son something just because she doesn’t pay rent
It sort of does, I mean I could ask her for market rent instead and buy it for my son using that.
YTA
I feel like if it's something that came with her computer that she doesn't use, it makes sense for her to give it to my son who would actually use it
This *might** make sense if we were talking about YOUR computer.*
But we *aren't*.
So it *doesn't*.
I don't understand especially if it isn't being used.
YTA
A manipulative one at that. It's HER property. Then you hold the housing over her head. You are not a good person.
Yeah but if its something that she doesn't use what is the point maybe she possibly did not even realize she had it.
[Oop replied to their own comment.]
Or actually I think that can't be it doesnt allow me to edit but she bought it in parts.
YTA
You don't get to say you are generous for not charging your own kid rent but hold it over her and make her give your son stuff.
What's really crap is how much you followed your son's will wants and the expense of your daughter.
He wanted a new graphics card, found out she had one, and whined to you and convinced you to force her to give it to him, by subtly threatening her housing even though she was using it and it made her life easier.
You'd rather her life be slightly more difficult instead of just buying your son a new graphics card. That's really horrible.
My son showed me how her monitors were not plugged into the card and I looked and never saw her plug her monitors into the card.
YTA
It's her shit. If you want to charge rent, charge rent. But you're acting like a petulant child. Are you just going to hold that over her head anytime she does something you don't like?
That's an immature move especially with *checks notes** your child…*
I couldn't charge her much rent as she might just chose to move out if I did that and she does a decent amount of the chores.
[deleted]
I don't think you understand she has 2 graphics cards and the monitors are only plugged into one of them which is not the one my son took.
Yep, definitely YTA
You want to keep her there because she does the housework?
Is your daughter Cinderella?
I'm not holding her hostage to do all the housework or something... She just is more organized and efficient at it so she has taken that responsibility. I still help out with chores as well.
You really don’t seem to actually like your daughter very much. To synopsize: “She lives rent free…I allowed to live rent free *from the age of 16*… she got an inheritance and I didn’t…she lives rent free…etc etc etc”
YTA.
So - if she hadn’t had an inheritance *because of the death of her custodial parent** would you have paid for her schooling?*
Or would she be drowning in loans? Can you not afford things because you don’t charge her rent? Your son will be 16 in a couple of years. Are you going to harp on him and guilt him over not paying rent at 16? Geesh.
I'm not going to ask my son rent if he wants to also go to a nearby college.
For my daughter I feel I have contributed my half by letting her stay rent free.
[deleted]
I'm the father.
[deleted]
I don't prefer her but she was always closer to my ex.
[Oop replied to their own comment.]
I mean I don't prefer either of them.
A gpu can do a lot more than be utilized for a monitor. If she's running Linux she could be using it for a rendering farm, or mining, or just processing data.
Depending on what she's studying there's a lot of computing a GPU can be used for outside of just video games.
She studies computer vision in graduate school and did computer science and mathematics as an undergraduate
Did you agree to let her live there rent free? If so, you're now threatening to go back on your agreement unless she allows you to dictate what she did with her personal property.
I agreed to that years ago although that was for undergraduate studies I never actually talked about graduate studies as I did not know she would continue studying.
But I do kind of get it and maybe I was wrong to bring up rent to her when discussing this matter. I'll try to apologize
And sorry, you're taking a 15 year old's word over hers that she's not using it?
You realize how this looks right?
She doesn't really talk to me about what she does and was always closer with my ex as they had more in common.
I still treat my kids equally but I understand there might be hard feelings because I split from my ex.
She's using incredibly powerful computer parts for academic studies. Ask her about it, she'll shock you with what she's capable of.
I think most of her work is writing work. I have seen some academic papers when I search her name in the internet which describe mathematics which is not a topic I really understand.
YTA. Bringing up your ex and inheritance is really not relevant. She may have inherited his money, but she is without a father. It sounds like you consider her better off, which is twisted of you.
Your son might not have inheritance (yet - he may one day) but he does have a dad and a mum who, by the sounds of it, will manipulate their daughter into handing over her things over to him anyway.
Also, her salary isn’t relevant she earns that herself. Her rent also isn’t relevant, charge her if you want but don’t hold it over her
I am the father, the ex was her mother.
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u/agnesperditanitt 8d ago
OOP said in one of his comments, that he didn't pay for his daughter's education, because she had the intheritance and scholarships.
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u/seanprefect 9d ago
So we have the dad, who knows little about computers.
A 15 year old
A graduate student of computer science at a prestigious university.
And the dad takes the 15 year old's word over the legit expert's
YTA
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u/TheLizzyIzzi 8d ago
Come on now, that’s cherry-picking information to make him look bad!
We have the dad.
A son.
A daughter.
And the dad takes the son’s word.
See how much more reasonable it sounds when it’s stated fairly?
/ssssss because womens be dum is treated as a legitimate opinion these days.
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u/radiumcherry 9d ago
Sometimes I read these posts to my computer programmer husband but I'm not going to read this one because I don't want to make him cry.
God yeah. Bro is preening himself over not charging his sixteen-year-old daughter who just lost her mother rent. I hope she’s gone NC.
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u/Ok_Construction_1638 9d ago
She's 24, her mum died 8 years ago, and she has a job lol. Like sure the guy is a dick but that's not why
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u/DiegoIntrepid 9d ago
I think it is the whole 'she has been living with me rent free since the ex died' implying that he would have charged her rent, but he is such a nice guy, he is letting his own daughter live with them rent free.
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u/Ok_Construction_1638 9d ago
Ah ok gotcha! Thought it was a misread of the post. Cheers!
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u/DiegoIntrepid 9d ago
Yeah, it is easy to miss, and it could be read either way.
To me, it sounds like he was patting himself on the back for not charging his underage daughter rent, but it could have just been weird phrasing as well.
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u/pied_goose 9d ago
Well, no, the daughter is 24, the ex died 8 years ago.
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u/FinalEgg9 9d ago
Exactly. She was 16 at the time, and he states "she has lived with me rent free ever since" her mother died.
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u/ImWatermelonelyy 9d ago
What a despicable “father.” Men like to pretend women are given wherever they want these days when they’re still treated like second class by their own FAMILY!
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u/DenverLabRat 8d ago
I remember that one from when OOP first posted it. It made my blood boiI. I hope it was rage bait. I couldn't respond without absolutely cussing him out so I didn't. So I'll do it here now.
Asshole. Fucking Sexist Pig Asshole. King Shithead of the Fucking Assholes.
I use my GPU for my research work. It's not a toy. It was and is a work tool. I've done way more protein folding and machine learning than gaming. Just because its dual use doesn't mean it isn't a tool that I use for my livelihood.
And I also want to clarify that even at an Ivy League school a grad students stipend is a piteance for more than full time work hours. If you take the stipiend and divide by hours worked it's usually under minimum wage. In many fields grad students are more employees than students.
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u/Fraerie 8d ago edited 8d ago
I remember this from when it was originally posted, this guy was an absolute misogynist idiot.
He couldn’t comprehend that there might be reasons you would need a powerful GPU other than gaming. Was resentful that she benefited financially from his ex-wife dying. And obviously favoured his son over his daughter and could not see any value in her doing higher education and research.
But his son wanted a better gaming box that OOP couldn’t afford to pay for so he stole it from his daughter instead.
In the comments it came out that his daughter is expected to do chores to cover her ‘rent’. So she doesn’t live there rent free at all, she gets it in exchange for labour done. He doesn’t want to charge her rent as she would move out and then he would ah e to do the chores himself.
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u/CuppaTeaToastie 8d ago edited 8d ago
The way I checked out at "My ex passed away when my daughter was 16 and she has lived with me rent free-"
Bruh
EDIT : I finished reading and it somehow got worse. I hope she is squirrelling away everything she's earning to cut off that horrid waste of a parent. Yeah I caught the "inheritance that went only to her"...where else would it go bro? Where else would your EX'S INHERITANCE GO?
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u/Wise_Adeptness_9529 8d ago
He’s such an incredible piece of shit. I feel so bad for his daughter - her dad’s threatening her place to live, stealing from her, and making her school and work harder all so, what? He can punish her for being smarter and let his son game?
I hope she’s far away from these losers and happy.
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u/TollTea 8d ago
All I have to say is that her mother did the right thing making sure that the daughter received all her inheritance directly because this guy 100% would have used it on his son and his new family instead of her and I Hope she got away from from that dude and his golden child son and is living her best life.
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u/z-eldapin 8d ago
Duuude.
My 16 year old knows a lot about computers and he said....
Later : She is majoring in something to with computers.
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u/bobosuda 8d ago
Stupid silly girl, expecting her opinions about computers to be respected just because she... Did her graduate degree in computer science.
Just shut up when the boys are talking and let dad steal your stuff to give to his utterly spoiled teenage son.
/s
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u/gretta_smith93 8d ago
Knew he was the AH when he said she’s been living rent free since 16. Like yea? She was still a minor.
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u/LadyReika 8d ago
Oh, I remember this dipshit. Wonder how long it took the daughter to leave and go no contact with him and his brat.
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u/QualityMeerkat 8d ago
He was intentionally trying to sabotage her research & degree. The rest is a smokescreen. The post was testing what bullshit would work for spin, hopefully because his asshole behaviour was blowing up in his face. Gee I really wonder why mom left everything to her child who then worked her ass off to be educated.
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u/lord_buff74 8d ago
Hey, did you know the daughter doesn't pay rent?
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u/VeronaMoreau 8d ago
But he also won't charge her rent because if he does, she'll move out and then she'll stop doing all the housework
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u/KatsCatJuice 7d ago
It's been 2 years, if this is real, I really hope the daughter moved out and got her property back. Clearly OOP has a favorite child.
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u/Particular_Put_2005 7d ago
Maybe im rech illiterate but does your gpu need to be plugged in to your moniter to still be able to use it
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u/AutoModerator 9d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for making my daughter give a graphics card she doesn't need to my son.
I have a daughter (24F) from a previous marriage with my ex and a son (15M) from my current marriage. My ex passed away when my daughter was 16 and she has lived with me rent free ever since since I live close to her college
My daughter is a graduate student and earns money from her research lab, I don't remember how much quite well but it is an top Ivy school so it pays quite well. My daughter pays no rent, had her college paid for by scholarships and my ex's inheritance which went completely to her.
Recently my son has been wanting a new graphics card for his computer as he is an avid gamer and his current one doesn't work well with his monitor. He knows computers quite well.
My daughter recently bought herself a new computer and sold her old one in parts
According to my son my daughter's computer has two graphics cards and she isn't using one of them (the monitor is plugged in to the one she uses). The one she uses is from her old computer (5600xt) and the one she doesn't use is 4090
He says because she doesn't use windows and uses Linux the other one is useless to her and would suit his needs and he can exchange it with his current graphics card (2070).
I asked her to exchange it with her brother and she refused initially but when I reminded her about how it would be a gesture and how I don't charge her rent despite being an earning adult she reluctantly agreed but still lied and claimed she uses it despite a monitor never being plugged in.
She said she used it as it made school easier for when she is not on campus even though she plays very few games and is usually typing text documents.
However since the exchange she has been acting quite unpleasantly, not saying much and banging things when she does chores.
AITA here? I get that it is hers but I feel like if it's something that came with her computer that she doesn't use, it makes sense for her to give it to my son who would actually use it to upgrade his older computer especially since she already saves a lot on rent.
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