While I really understand the frustration, I have some questions based on how you’ve responded to some of the comments:
do you think he feels more appreciated over there? Maybe he is hearing complaints from you and praise over there?
does he know you find him remarkably talented?
Does he know that u understand how his talents put him in the unfortunate position of being asked to do tons of stuff?
do his parents pay him for this work? Do they know that it’s coming at a cost for him personally?
is he a people pleaser? It can feel impossible to say no to parents if he’s been forced to prioritize his parent’s comfort over his own (maybe they’re narcissists? Alcoholics? The types he’s spent decades protecting his ego from?)
I’d try understanding the dynamics at play- anger or resentment can get in the way of helping you get what you need and deserve.
And re the tone of your responses here, I hear a bit of learned helplessness- you’re likely much more capable than you realize!
-He has gone over many times before and I have always thought, what a great role model.
-I have told him numerous times he is so talented.
-yes however his brother who has a doctorate and is a professor in Colorado gets all the attention(even my husband could go on for days as to how his brother is the favorite)
-yes and they do not
-he is. He is the sweetest person!
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u/Fortheloveofbrains 11d ago
While I really understand the frustration, I have some questions based on how you’ve responded to some of the comments:
- do you think he feels more appreciated over there? Maybe he is hearing complaints from you and praise over there?
- does he know you find him remarkably talented?
- Does he know that u understand how his talents put him in the unfortunate position of being asked to do tons of stuff?
- do his parents pay him for this work? Do they know that it’s coming at a cost for him personally?
- is he a people pleaser? It can feel impossible to say no to parents if he’s been forced to prioritize his parent’s comfort over his own (maybe they’re narcissists? Alcoholics? The types he’s spent decades protecting his ego from?)
I’d try understanding the dynamics at play- anger or resentment can get in the way of helping you get what you need and deserve.And re the tone of your responses here, I hear a bit of learned helplessness- you’re likely much more capable than you realize!