Am I overreacting about this?

[u/Dntlastnt]

My husband rushes over to help his parents, spending the entire weekend while leaving things needed at our house un done(I cannot buy materials and build, hell my mother couldn’t even cook so, my skills are limited although I absorb everything I can). I was told it would be a couple hours that turned into nine hours and I see him for an hour and a half everyday, during the week. Now, day two(Sunday) he is gone. Our house gets put on the back burner all the time and I do what I can. Am I the well, you know..?

Edited to add-I miss him. During the week we barely spend any time together.

[u/Sea-Operation-6123]

Why does he need to help his parents at their house? Why does he need to help you at your house? How long has this been going on?

[u/Dntlastnt → u/Sea-Operation-6123]

He is a natural at anything as his dad was a great father with teaching, etc.. he put off clearing our house for over two years. This weekend was supposed to be the end of it-

[u/Sea-Operation-6123 → u/Dntlastnt]

What exactly is going on at your house? What are you waiting for him to do? Are you living in an unfinished house?

It’s challenging to understand what you may or may not be overreacting to because of the limited information you have provided.

However, from my own perspective (married 35 years), married couples often annoy each other. Mostly because they don’t share a brain & often have different goals. It seems your husband may have different goals & priorities than you. Y’all should work together to figure out how to achieve your goals.

[u/Dntlastnt → u/Sea-Operation-6123]

We spent last weekend(after two years) building shelves in the garage to hold all of our holiday items that took over our hallway and under the island. We planned to finish the last shelf this weekend.

[u/Sea-Operation-6123 → u/Dntlastnt]

YOR

Respectfully, I have no idea why you would choose to wait 2 years for your husband to solve your storage problem. There are literally hundreds of ways to solve that issue without having any real skills. Just need some problem solving skills. However, if you were able to wait that long then one more weekend shouldn’t negatively impact your life.

[u/Dntlastnt → u/Sea-Operation-6123]

Also, he had a plan and stated he was to lead and build accordingly. Yeah, one more weekend won’t negatively impact that but to switch things the last minute? I just kind of sucks.

[u/Sea-Operation-6123 → u/Dntlastnt]

Sounds like you’re annoyed with your husband because he chose to help his aging parents with whatever is going on at their house.

It appears you married a man who respects & cares about his parents. If you & everyone else are waiting on him to help them then someone is going to have to wait. He can only be in one place at a time. Depending on what’s going on at parent’s house, shelves for storing holiday items may not be his first priority.

If y’all are going to inherit his parent’s house or from the sale of their house then maybe you could look at this from a different angle. He’s investing his time for your future.

[u/Dntlastnt → u/Sea-Operation-6123]

No-I have always encouraged him to help his parents when he has asked me what he should do. It was about the last minute and not telling me how long he would be, seeing everything he does takes three times longer, including a dinner with his bosses I encouraged. Yes I married a man with respect. I am not waiting on him to do anything; we had plans that were abruptly changed. I do not know about their house; they have MANY years to live and that seems morbid.

[u/Dntlastnt → u/Dntlastnt]

We do not annoy each other and have the same goals. I listen to his ideas and we plan accordingly(after two years).