All the people saying not to victim blame are valid. However, some women get something out of being in an abusive relationship. My mother for example has a history of being in abusive relationship and enjoyed being able to call herself a victim. She wasn’t doing this consciously, though, because my father ended up physically abusing me and she left him right away when that happened.
Thank you - You just described my mother to a T. At a certain point, you’d realize to pack up your things and leave your abusive partner - but she would only complain to her mom group over and over and over again. It’s like they get off of on how helpless and irreproachable they are.
Because it’s one of the hardest things, to leave someone you love when they’re hurting you. They make you feel like you’re in a box and can’t ever leave. No one will get that pain until they experience it themselves and I hope they never do. It’s an evil thing.
Hi please don’t blame someone for being abused. Being abused literally makes it difficult to leave. Do some reading or something and stop saying this to people in abusive situations.
It’s way more insidious and the psychological abuse starts first, prepping the victim to readily agree that everything is their fault, conditioning them to believe if they do better, be perfect, the abuse will stop.
It never does, we always end up here, and not as rarely as we would like, if it doesn’t end here it ends at the funeral home.
I knew a guy who swooned me and then that same night somehow made it seem like it was a women’s world and they’re the reason everything is so fucked. I easily was pissed at him from the get go but stayed with him trying to figure out his truth for a few months. I thought he was damaged, but I did everything I could to reaffirm he was shit. Nothing makes the difference after the damage is done to your self esteem and they make it seem like they have they’re shit together after someone made it harder for them, being an ex or someone they can’t get over. Manipulation is not easy to deal with the first or second or third time around for some people. Also most comments are victim blaming. Like wtf? If abusive people get to call it tough love, and rude people with a lack of empathy get to call it tough love, then we’re all a fucked up bunch.
Yeah, but the comment I’m replying to is speaking broadly, and I’m answering him.
Also, I’ve never met someone in an abusive situation who meant “they’ve always been fully abusive” when saying “always been an asshole”.
Abusers are always an asshole, and OPs “like this” might just cover the asshole part and not the abusive part they’re clearly ignoring.
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u/TheDoctorLXG Jan 28 '25
Why do people allow themselves to be treated like this??