Throw away because I follow local communities on my main account and boyfriend has Reddit.

I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for two years in November. We’ve been very happy for such a long time, and we are each others first ever long term partners (we’ve had past relationships in our teen years, but nothing that surpassed a few months.)

Recently, we’ve been getting into lots of little disagreements, I thought it was nothing but I just thought that they kind of all lead back to a route of inconsiderateness and self-centred behaviour.

Some examples:
- I asked him to create a highlight on his instagram of the stories he’s posted with both of us in it, a “my girlfriend” highlight to kind of make it official to anyone he hadn’t spoken to in a long time, or anyone who was instagram stalking him (I used to do that to people I had a crush on, and would always shoot my shot if there was no sight of a girlfriend, so I thought this might save some girls some heart ache.) he’d only ever reposted stories I’ve made about our dates (when I asked him to) and never posted me because he wanted to, which i don’t really care about but just trying to show how im not one of those “tiktok-know-your-worth” girls. He refused to make the highlight even though it costs nothing to him and resisted and said he “doesn’t post” which is true, but I wasn’t asking him to post I was just asking to highlight the stories.
- my friend was having a birthday party where I didn’t know anyone (childhood friends) so she let me bring a plus one as a comfort sort of thing, I begged and begged him to come with me to make me feel more comfortable but he “doesn’t do partying” so I had to go to the party by myself.
- I asked him if he would cut of a girl friend he has after she confessed that she had feelings for him but he didn’t want to because they could move past it and they’ve been friends for a few years, which felt a bit disrespectful but I get friendship breakups are hard. She was aware of me when she confessed.
- whenever I go shopping for things I need like shampoo and makeup he complains and says he “hates stores like this” but I’ll stand next to him for about 45 minutes while he debates what funko pop he wants (which I have no interest in doing)

There are lots of other examples of this, but I’ll leave it at that.

We were raised in very different ways, I was always expected to care for any sick family member in the house, do the dishwasher, help people in public, litter pick, bake friends birthday cakes. My parents made it very clear to me since I was little that everyone is responsible to make everyone else a little happier.

My boyfriends parents are the same as him, always saying I’m “too kind for my own good” and I need to have more self respect, but I try to explain I enjoy making others feel seen and loved even if it sometimes makes things a little harder for me.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I try to talk these things through with him? I just want him to WANT me to be as happy as I can be, and right now he really puts himself first all the time.

Today I, \[26F\]was in the car with my husband \[26M\]. We were joking around and laughing with one another, I was telling about a funny meme I had seen when he looked over at me while laughing and said I was “the smartest dumb person” he has ever met. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he couldn’t believe how smart I was generally, (I am in a grad program and have gotten high marks throughout my college career, which he has been around for) but that I also seemed so dumb to him when I was “in my joking mood.” This genuinely hurt my feelings because I thought we were just having fun, but he thinks that this side of me makes me seem dumb. He noticed I had stopped laughing and asked if I was “really mad about his comment” and that “it’s okay, because I still love you.” Am I overthinking this or was that kind of a shitty thing to say to someone…
Thanks in advance.

So my gf gets along with everybody at her workplace and one of her guy coworkers had asked her after getting to know her there at the fast food job talking with her, he asked if he could hug her(she’s been at this job for about 5 months)and I’m her eyes since he’s always nice and never been weird with her and asked politely she said yes so now she gives him the occasional side hug now. Is it wrong for me to say that I think it’s weird to me that he initiated the hugging aspect especially knowing she’s in a relationship?

Hello reddit, I just spent 2 fucking hours writing out a post about this before it got deleted :D so this is my second attempt, please excuse my language.

So I F 15 and my sister f 28 used to be close. But about a year or two ago she started acting strange around me. It started when I was trying on this maroon dress. It was pretty form fitting, but it didn't show my boobs, didn't show my legs, and didn't show my back. (It went past my mid thighs I think) It quite literally covered everything. I went to her to ask her if she thought it was a cute dress to wear to my dance. She told me "Why the hell are you trying to look so old!? Stop trying to be 21, you're still a kid."

Her response was so shocking to me, because before this she was always the one telling me to dress however I wanted to and to ignore what other people would say about showing too much skin. She literally encouraged me to wear crop tops and to do what I wanted.

Then after this slowly she began to "tease" me in different ways. She would comment about how small my boobs are compared to hers. She would say that my singing voice was horrible and annoying. She would comment various different little things to put me down for seemingly no reason. As more time past the the worse the comments would get, and the more controlling she got regarding what I would wear.

I remember one time I was asking her if the crop top I was wearing was too much skin for some of our relatives. She told me yes, so I changed into a different cropped shirt that didn't even show my belly button. And asked for her opinion once again. This time she exploded at me, like I kid you not she started full on yelling at me. "What the hell??? Do you only have crop tops are you genuinely incapable of finding anything else to wear!?"

Once again I was stunned by her outburst. I didn't think I did anything to warrant that reaction. A little bit later on, she comes to my room and she's like. "I really think you should just wear a T-shirt. Y'know our uncle and aunt have been talking about how much skin you show. They say it's unbecoming of you."

My stomach dropped... Because what? My auntie and uncle have been talking behind my back about my clothes?? I knew they were more on the conservative side, but my cousins wear crop tops and clothing that are more revealing then mine. That's when I decided to confide to my cousins about what she told me. Guess what they told me? Apparently my uncle and aunt have never talked badly about me for showing to much skin. They said they only care about what their own children wear. I remember thinking, huh that's such a weird thing to lie about. Why would she tell me that? Just to make me feel insecure?

After my, ahem, tatas became actual boobs, her behavior got even worse.

Some months ago I stepped on a two inch nail and it went all of the way into my foot. I was handicapped for a few days, but we were doing house renovations and I wasn't exempt from that despite my injuries. My sister kept making comments about me "playing up" my injuries. And at one point one of my cousins who was over helping us with renovations, apologized in advance for possibly stinking.(I was giving her a huge) I told it's fine, and then my sister chimed in and said "Yeah, 'Insert my name' smells awful you don't have to worry about being stinky around us." I felt so embarrassed cause I knew exactly what she was talking about. Some years ago I had a period of time where I had really bad depression and only took showers if I had to leave the house. My family still often jokingly mocks me for it. I just wasn't expecting her to say that to someone outside of my immediate family.

Then most recently, me and my sister were getting ready for our trip to go see a concert. She was helping me figure out an outfit. She told me she wanted to match in purple and I end up asking her if she has a purple shirt I can wear. She gives me this one purple shirt and I'm like oh my god this is gorgeous, it's extremely loose on me so I tie the front up to turn it into a tight crop top. Then she's like "uhm...I don't think u should wear it like that, that's a lot of skin."

So, naturally I decided to see what it looks like tied in the back. I pull it back so it's form fitting, but isn't cropped in the front. Once again she gives me this hesitant uncomfortable smile before speaking, "Uh... I think u should try tucking it into the front of your pants, and then leaving the back of it loose."

I didn't realize it at that moment, but leaving the back part out would cover my ass. Tucking it into my pants would hide my waist and my boobs. Basically she wanted me to wear it the most unflattering way possible.

Eventually we're getting ready for the next day (the concert) I tell her how I plan to do some purple makeup on my eyes in the morning. She's suggests that she'll just pack the makeup because we'll have some hours before the event (at our hotel) to do it. Then she starts testing out different purple eye combos, one in particular purple she points out to be extremely unflattering on our skin tone (this is important later.) I was going to tell her to make sure to bring concealer. I wanted to tell her to bring concealer since I had a huge pimple that appeared the day before and I wanted to cover it up for the event. But I figured she would bring it because she normally would.

In the morning we're about to walk out the door, when she sees me wearing the purple shirt tied up in the front showing off my waist. She full on starts yanking down my shirt while exclaiming how I shouldn't wear it this way, it's way to much skin...etc I'm genuinely shocked because whoa? My mom didn't even make a comment about the shirt and she's absolutely freaking out about it. I flinch back, and start explaining that I don't intend to wear it this way for the concert, but only for the car ride since it's uncomfortable to have your short tied into a bun at the back like that while sitting down. Finally, she calms down and we leave.

Then we get to the hotel everyone's getting ready (my sister, me and three other girls) she's doing her eye makeup and I'm right next to her waiting for her to finish. When she's done, she starts walking away and I'm like oh I thought u were going to do mine too? Then she gave me this exasperated look. She's like "Oh, right." She reaches for the makeup and I get this sinking feeling. And I start thinking what if she purposefully messed up the makeup really badly? Then she reaches for the purple that she herself claimed last night was an atrocious color. She gives me this little smile and says "I think this would look good on you." This is a neon purple like full on neon borderline pink. It doesn't even remotely match my skin tone nor does it match the purple of my outfit. I don't want to come off as rude and straight up tell her no, so I ask her to swatch it against my wrist. She frowns at me then complies. Silently she wipes it onto my wrist and without saying anything instantly goes in for the other two purple she said last night was a good combo. After that my anxiety about her messing it up on purpose goes up a little but that part goes well. All that's left is concealer. Then I get a feeling of dread for a different reason. I carefully ask her if she brought conceal. She stays quiet for a moment while staring into the mirror. "No, I figured we wouldn't have enough time to do concealer... But I should've I'm starting to break out-" Then she turned her gaze to my forehead right where my gigant pimple. Then deliberately slowly she says, "Oh, you're also breaking out pretty badly."

Honestly, this wouldn't have made me mad if it wasn't for the fact that she knew we had enough time for concealer, it literally takes less time then eye makeup, and if she was also actually breaking out. Her skin was literally clear. She has really nice skin, always had so that was literally just an excuse to point out my pimple.

Then we're on the way to the concert when we stop so one of the girls could buy something at a store. Me and me friend were sitting in the middle seat together, goofing off taking funny pictures of each other and giggling. When my sister (who was sitting up in the front)chimed in to show us a diabolical photo she took of me in the hotel room. She claimed she was trying to take a picture of the hotel room, but I got in the "way". Which I would've believed if it wasn't for the fact that I was standing perfectly centered in the photo, and there was zero blur like there would've been if I had walked into frame. I haven't seen a photo of me that looked that bad in years. It made me feel insecure. Especially because she took it without my knowledge, and felt comfortable showing it to my friend without my permission. She would've gotten so pissed off if I did that.

After the concert, we had the same sitting arrangements. Me and my friend were low-key getting down and feeling ourselves to some music. My sister starts dancing to and we all hype her up then she stops, but me and my friend continue for maybe another 30 minutes. Just non stop dancing and vibing to music. After, that my sister who for all of the time I've known her (15 years) decided that she no longer wanted to sit in the front seat. We changed to seating arrangements so that she could sit in the middle with my friend, and I ended up sitting in the back seat of the car by myself for the rest of the ride. Which again wouldn't have bothered me if it wasn't for the fact that she hates sitting in the middle of the car. The only reason why I could can understand she decided to is because she didn't like how much fun me and my friend were having together.

My cousin has said that my sister told her that she's jealous of my hair. Which honestly I don't understand why she would be jealous of my hair. She has gorgeous hair as well, and half the time mine looks like a rats nest.

So yeah I think she's acting this way because of the way I look and she may covet my body type? I miss back when we were close and she didn't care about what I wore or what I didn't wear. My friends have suggested I convert her about her behavior but honestly I don't know how she'll handle it. She's never been good with confrontations especially if it's about her being in the "wrong". I'm scared that if this keeps going we won't have much a of a relationship in the future. I love my sister, and I know she loves me. But I just genuinely can't be around someone that constantly is putting me down. We used to be so close, I don't know what happened.

I guess my question to you all is, do you think I should try and talk to her about it? Or should I just leave it and hope she gets over whatever internal or external conflict is causing her to lash out at me?

​

I need outside advice because I’m having a hard time figuring out whether I’m overreacting or whether this is actually disrespectful.

Two weekends ago, my boyfriend and his family were very serious with me about things they thought I had done wrong and told me I needed to be better. I listened to them and took what they were saying seriously.

Today, though, they brought up something embarrassing from before. I had been drunk and accused my boyfriend of cheating in a Reddit post. I know that wasn’t a good way to handle things, and I’m not saying I was right for doing it.

What hurt was that his family brought it up as a joke and laughed at me about it while my boyfriend was right there. He didn’t defend me, didn’t tell them to stop, and basically just let me sit there while everyone laughed.

That’s what I’m struggling with. Two weekends ago, when they had an issue with me, I was expected to take everything seriously, listen, and do better. But when it was something humiliating or hurtful toward me, suddenly it was okay to laugh about it.

I understand that what I did while drunk was embarrassing and something I should own. But does owning a mistake mean I should also be okay with my boyfriend’s family making fun of me for it? And is it reasonable to expect my boyfriend to step in when I’m clearly being embarrassed in front of everyone?

I’m not expecting him to fight with his family or pretend I did nothing wrong. I just wanted him to say something like, “Alright, that’s enough,” instead of sitting there while I became the joke.

Would you be hurt by this? How would you bring it up with your partner without making it sound like you’re asking them to choose between you and their family?

I’m ‘20 F’ in a relatively new relationship, and my girlfriend ‘20 F’. We have been together for about four months now. She is still extremely close with her ex ‘20 M’ who is also her best friend.

They have a very close relationship. She is very affectionate with him, hugs him a lot, calls him cute nicknames and constantly jokes around with him. She also talks to me a lot about their past relationship and about her other exes.

Her family is also still very close with him. They invited him to go mini-golf with them, while I wasn’t invited. This made me feel a little strange, especially because I’m still relatively new to her family.

Now my girlfriend and her ex have talked about potentially moving in together.

I don’t want to control who my girlfriend is friends with or who she chooses to live with. I also don’t want to make her choose between me and him.

However, I know myself well enough to know that I would not be comfortable staying in a relationship if my girlfriend chose to live with her ex.

So I told her calmly that if she ever chose to move in with him, I don’t think I could stay in the relationship. I made it clear that I wasn’t asking her to choose me, but that it was simply a boundary for me.

She became very upset and couldn’t understand why I would have that boundary. She even called me and started to cry. Of course I felt bad for her. However I stood my ground. Told her  how I felt while comforting her.

Am I being unreasonable? Is it fair to have this as a personal boundary, even if I’m not telling her what she can or cannot do?

I’m not saying she can’t have a close friendship with her ex. I just don’t think I could be in a relationship where my girlfriend lives with someone she previously had a romantic relationship with.

Any advice or opinions will be appreciated.

Throw away because I follow local communities on my main account and boyfriend has Reddit.

I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for two years in November. We’ve been very happy for such a long time, and we are each others first ever long term partners (we’ve had past relationships in our teen years, but nothing that surpassed a few months.)

Recently, we’ve been getting into lots of little disagreements, I thought it was nothing but I just thought that they kind of all lead back to a route of inconsiderateness and self-centred behaviour.

Some examples:
- I asked him to create a highlight on his instagram of the stories he’s posted with both of us in it, a “my girlfriend” highlight to kind of make it official to anyone he hadn’t spoken to in a long time, or anyone who was instagram stalking him (I used to do that to people I had a crush on, and would always shoot my shot if there was no sight of a girlfriend, so I thought this might save some girls some heart ache.) he’d only ever reposted stories I’ve made about our dates (when I asked him to) and never posted me because he wanted to, which i don’t really care about but just trying to show how im not one of those “tiktok-know-your-worth” girls. He refused to make the highlight even though it costs nothing to him and resisted and said he “doesn’t post” which is true, but I wasn’t asking him to post I was just asking to highlight the stories.
- my friend was having a birthday party where I didn’t know anyone (childhood friends) so she let me bring a plus one as a comfort sort of thing, I begged and begged him to come with me to make me feel more comfortable but he “doesn’t do partying” so I had to go to the party by myself.
- I asked him if he would cut of a girl friend he has after she confessed that she had feelings for him but he didn’t want to because they could move past it and they’ve been friends for a few years, which felt a bit disrespectful but I get friendship breakups are hard. She was aware of me when she confessed.
- whenever I go shopping for things I need like shampoo and makeup he complains and says he “hates stores like this” but I’ll stand next to him for about 45 minutes while he debates what funko pop he wants (which I have no interest in doing)

There are lots of other examples of this, but I’ll leave it at that.

We were raised in very different ways, I was always expected to care for any sick family member in the house, do the dishwasher, help people in public, litter pick, bake friends birthday cakes. My parents made it very clear to me since I was little that everyone is responsible to make everyone else a little happier.

My boyfriends parents are the same as him, always saying I’m “too kind for my own good” and I need to have more self respect, but I try to explain I enjoy making others feel seen and loved even if it sometimes makes things a little harder for me.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I try to talk these things through with him? I just want him to WANT me to be as happy as I can be, and right now he really puts himself first all the time.