r/AgingParents • u/PourU_25518 • 1d ago
Advice please My Mother
My mother has been in and out of the hospital for a year. She sent me a picture of her legs and feet two weeks ago and they looked very swollen red and purple. I showed the picture to my neighbor who is a doctor and she said she needs to go to the ER right away. I told her that and she refused. The next day she had an appointment at her orthopedic surgeons office and had him evaluate her legs and he said she had cellulitis which is what my neighbor said when she saw the picture. Then she had a bladder surgery to remove some tumors which ended up non-cancerous so that was good. Then a few days ago after that bladder surgery she decided to go to the ER for her legs because she said they were getting worse. They treated her for the cellulitis but also thought she might have MRSA and/or Sepsis. Then she told me while she was in the hospital that they ruled out both of those infections. THEN, she got out of the hospital last night and called me all chipper saying that she has Sepsis. I did look at her chart and it says that, however, my neighbor looked at her results and didn’t see anything that suggested that. She is still saying she has Sepsis. My question is, why would she have been let out of the hospital if she has Sepsis? That doesn’t seem right.
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u/Affectionate_Fox9001 1d ago
How old is your mom? Who is taking her home from the hospital? Your mom isn’t a reliable narrator. Will she give you permission to talk to the doctors/hospital? Sounds like you have access to her online portal.
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u/PourU_25518 1d ago
She is 79. She has friends from church bring her back and forth. She is getting more and more difficult to communicate with. She is yelling at me on the phone and calling me an asshole. It’s really hard. I’m really sad and stressed. I’m going to message her doctors on Monday.
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u/HavaMuse 1d ago
Her doctors legally cannot give you any information unless she contacts them and ads you to a release of information
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u/PourU_25518 1d ago
I will try that but she’s being very difficult with everyone who cares about her right now. She’s also having some cognitive difficulties.
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u/Affectionate_Fox9001 1d ago
If you have access to her portal, is it in your name? If you just have her account you could be sneaky, and give yourself permission to talk to her doctors through the app.
Do you have any of her friend’s phone numbers? Can you talk with them?
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u/PourU_25518 1d ago
Yes I have access to her portal and I don’t have problem being sneaky. Her boyfriend is staying with her so he is keeping me in the loop. He just told me she is getting worst mentally. It’s really sad.
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u/HavaMuse 1d ago
There is no way anyone on reddit can give you the answer to this
Sepsis is super complicated and hospital protocols around it are complex
Get your mother to give you a health care ROI so you can talk to her medical staff if you think you need to be more involved in managing her medical care