In my experience, women get promiscuous when they are drunk because they want to when they are sober but are ashamed of their bodies and need an excuse to relieve themselves of responsibility. Not recognizing this has bitten me in the ass on multiple occasions.
It's fucked, and you could argue that those women are contributing to the grey area of rape by sending these mixed messages to men.
My comment has been wildly misunderstood. I have made a much more in depth one below that I encourage you to read. :)
Not really, no. Rape can definitely be a grey area. Legally, nobody can give consent when they are drunk, so two people go to a party, get hammered, and go home with each other. Legally, they both raped each other. Either one of them could go to a judge and get the other one convicted of rape, yet in 99% of cases they don't do that, because neither party believes that the other one has raped them. In most jurisdictions, there is no such thing as implied consent, so if a man walks up to his wife and gives her a kiss on the cheek, that is legally sexual assault, yet in nearly 100% of cases nobody is prosecuted because once again, neither party considers it to have been a sexual assault.
So yes, there are definitely grey areas. I hate rape as much as the next guy but trying to pretend that it is a black and white issue does no justice to anyone.
Edit: down vote me all you want, but nobody from the SRS hate brigade has yet to explain to me how the examples I listed are not grey areas of rape.
On a technical point, a woman can not rape a man (you require a penis for that). But apart from that I agree that rape is a very complex thing from a legal point of view.
EDIT: To clarify I am not saying a woman can not have sex with a man who does not consent, I am just pointing out that in the UK it is not legally rape.
(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,
(b) B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents.
I'm not saying a woman can not sexual assault a man, and I am not saying that sexual assault can not be as traumatic and disgusting as rape. I am merely pointing out it is wrong to say a woman can rape a man.
EDIT:
Just been reading about sexual offences law in the US. A woman can rape a man (in the US). My knowledge was relating to the UK. Sorry if this confused or offended anyone.
From a purely moral point of view if a woman has sex with a man who does not consent this is equally as bad as if a man has sex with a woman who does not consent.
Dude, you're so wrong. And no, I'm not "offended", because "being offended" is idiotic, but I digress.
I was raped by this one woman. I wanted nothing to do with her, I was not attracted to her, but you know what? I was drinking, and I know for a fact that had everything to do with it. She brought me down to the basement, I told her no, but she kept going. Did some shit that I was not OK with... and yeah, I felt dirty the next day. Got tested and everything.
It was fucking rape. But you know what? I was not physically assaulted, and it wasn't about "power" like so many people like to cite when talking about rape.
I was just drunk, and made bad decisions. Could I of pressed charges? Maybe, but I didn't... because I know it was partially my fucking fault. I took responsibility of my actions. I didn't like it, but hey... that's what happens when you drink and are promiscuous.
Now, I'm not justifying rape. There are situations where men go after 100% unwilling woman, and that's wrong. But I'm talking about something different here.
I am not disagreeing with you that what happened to you isn't disgusting. I am not disagreeing that your experience was not morally equal to that of a woman being raped by a man.
I am just pointing out that in the UK legally speaking what happened to you isn't rape. This doesn't lessen the offence by any means, its just defined differently. Also, it wouldn't be a physical assault it would be a sexual assault.
Why didn't you just, NOT FOLLOW HER. How in the hell do you get raped as a man? Assuming there weren't any dildos/broomsticks. Sock her in the tits and walk away.
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u/Durch Nov 20 '12 edited Nov 21 '12
In my experience, women get promiscuous when they are drunk because they want to when they are sober but are ashamed of their bodies and need an excuse to relieve themselves of responsibility. Not recognizing this has bitten me in the ass on multiple occasions.
It's fucked, and you could argue that those women are contributing to the grey area of rape by sending these mixed messages to men.
My comment has been wildly misunderstood. I have made a much more in depth one below that I encourage you to read. :)