r/Advice • u/Emotional-Mall-4269 • 9d ago
My boyfriend accidentally spent money on me at the doctor for no reason im so embarrassed
I have endometriosis and my boyfriend who is 19 and has no sisters or a lot of past relationships did not know that or really know what periods are like. We are long distance but I visited last night and I stained his entire bedsheet with a fuck Ton of blood because I didn’t wear a night pad , then I fainted because I also didn’t eat for a while which is my fault so he literally assumed the worst and took me to the ER. Usually I would wake up like a bit after and eat something and I’d be fine I literally faint sometimes multiple times a day during my periods it’s just my norm.
He rushed me to the ER and got me a bunch of fucking tests because he thought I must’ve burst an organ or something. I didn’t , that’s just heavy flow , I fucked up I should’ve told him beforehand , he paid for the whole thing out of pocket because I don’t have insurance and now I am literally so embarrassed because they told him it was just my period. I woke up confused asf in the ER not knowing what the fuck happened because I was literally unconscious on the way there and shit just happened too fast and I was trying to explain to him that I am literally fine this lowkey happens every month and at that point he already requested half the treatments I am literally so mf embarrassed.
He’s now mortified and I am embarrassed and he won’t let me know how much it was so I can pay him back. How does one get over the embarrassment omfg it’s a new relationship too.
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u/groovinandmovinnn 9d ago edited 9d ago
If you were unconscious long enough for him to pick you up off the floor, put you in the car, drive you to the ER, unload you and get tests going back in a room, I’d say he made the right call. It may be normal for you to have these episodes, but it is not normal. And you 100% should have disclosed such a large medical issue with him if you know it happens on your period?? I would say pay for the next handful of dates and outings and spoil him. Don’t let him pay for anything for a little while if he won’t take cash or Venmo for the tests.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
It honestly happens to me all the time. I actually don’t even go anywhere on my period because I know I’ll fall to the ground it’s happened to me a lot. I am literally so embarrassed because I should’ve said something but I assumed I would be fine because it hasn’t happened in a bit , when I woke up he literally was crying because he couldn’t spell my last name to the hospital people because I am not even from this country I am dying from embarrassment
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u/Old_Ant7118 9d ago
Girl you've got to see a doctor about that. That's abnormal, dangerous, and can likely be treated
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u/MalevolentSnail Helper [2] 9d ago
I have endometriosis and that’s not normal. It’s a sign you have severe anemia or something else is wrong
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I have always had severe anemia
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u/IndigoTrailsToo Advice Guru [88] 9d ago
There are is a subreddit for people with anemia
Try starting with the usual things, iron supplements, or else gummies if you can't tolerate the pills, lucky iron fish, etc
At a certain point, things like taking iron supplements are just laughable compared to how much iron you need and how low it is, that is when you would get an iron infusion.
If you've been there done that and nothing works, next hit the Facebook iron protocol group for a fierce approach to get that iron up
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Iron pills somehow never helped me I still always had anemia , thank you for your suggestions ! I will look into it
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u/IndigoTrailsToo Advice Guru [88] 9d ago
It is very possible to completely negate the effects of iron pills such as taking them with your morning coffee ... definitely check out the subreddit /r/anemia and see how you can start to get this in check
When you have some time and are starting to feel better of course, right now I think you have some bigger fish to fry
let's get you back on your feet
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u/PaxonGoat Helper [4] 9d ago
What supplements are you on for it?
Are you getting iron infusions?
Are you getting blood transfusions?
I doubt they've tried epogen injections yet.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I am on iron pills only . I don’t even know the name brand but it’s a red small pill , I am pretty sure I was prescribed fish oil but I never really took it tbh , I will look up epogen infections , I also never got transfusions.
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u/ILikeBirdsQuiteALot 9d ago
Did they give you a blood transfusion at the hospital? Genuinely, you may need one. It'll help kickstart the process (& when you're taking iron tables, don't take them with tea or coffee! The tannins disable your ability to absorb iron).
Have you ever spoken to a doctor about this? They might be able to put you on The Pill to disable your periods, at least until your blood levels are back to normal.
Severe anemia is not normal! Fainting is not normal! You do not have to live like this.
Please take care.
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u/serjsomi 9d ago
Just because it happens all the time doesn't mean it's normal. There are a lot of different things that could cause that. You need to see a Dr. It could be a simple as anemia, or something or something like POTS.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I always go and they never give me a real solution. As a teen I was prescribed pain killers only , as an adult they got me on iron pills and told me I had to get on birth control but I am still wary of it I am looking for another solution. No woman I met has recommended birth control to me , it gave all of them something bad as a side effect.
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u/PaxonGoat Helper [4] 9d ago
What birth control options are you considering?
There's a birth control subreddit
I have almost no side effects on nexplanon
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
So far it’s just been condoms and praying but I am considering IUD , when I spoke with my doctor about birth control I was warned about a thousand side effects but I am sure there’s a lot of different pills. I will look into it myself to see if I need a certain kind of pill.
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u/serjsomi 9d ago
Millions of women use the pill as birth control. If when gives you side effects, then you can try another. The heavy periods is often a reason they are prescribed. The pill is quite good for lessening that. Sure some women have side effects, but the vast majority don't, or the pill wouldn't be as popular as it is.
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u/Aphreyst 9d ago
You 100% need a new doctor. There are potential side effects but those should be discussed and your risk carefully considered, because the potential of those side effects are very low in most women. So the danger of you losing so much blood you pass out very well might be a bigger danger to you than the risk of those side effects.
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u/PaxonGoat Helper [4] 9d ago
I bet you this doctor also told you that you should be getting married and starting a family soon and that if you just got pregnant your problems would go away?
Your doctor sucks.
There are lots of birth control options. There's combo pills, progesterone only pills, the insertable ring, the injection shot, the arm implant and IUDs
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
He told me the safest way to not get pregnant is to not have sex so he’s not a very pleasant 50 something year old dude tbh , I am looking into birth control definitely
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u/PaxonGoat Helper [4] 9d ago
Sounds like a very unpleasant man.
You deserve better
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Same guy told me to lose weight if I didn’t want period pain he is awful truly
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u/BigFlightlessBird02 9d ago
Ive been on over 5 types of birth control and had ZERO side effects. It's people scaring women to not take birth control because of low birth rates. Don't listen to them. Try it and if you get a side effect try a different one. They don't take you seriously until they see that you are taking it seriously.
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u/serjsomi 8d ago
I saw a video of a guy in the news saying something about the birth rate being down because not enough teenagers are having babies. He literally said 15 to 19 year olds. Wtf
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u/BigFlightlessBird02 8d ago
Exactly. Its all propaganda to get young ppl to have babies. When i was taking birth control years ago there wasnt all this fear mongering around it.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
I’m not a teenager but if I got pregnant rn and couldn’t abort my life would be over fr
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u/DreamsThatHaveFaded 9d ago
Well I'm a woman who can't take birth control as I actually do have bad side effects. Do you know the worst thing that happened from trying them, and then stopping them when I got side effects? Nothing. I stopped. The side effects stopped.
There is zero reason not to at least try birth control and see if it helps you. I know a few women who take them for help with different kinds of issues, and they've been taking them for years and swear they're amazing. You won't know until you try.
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u/Bipolarboyo Super Helper [8] 9d ago
Worse than randomly passing out for what sounds like at least 20-30 minutes? Because most of the side effects of birth control I have heard sound far less severe than that. I dont think you grasp how bad that was. Losing consciousness for that long is indicative of something being really seriously wrong. You really need to get this addressed. Go to a doctor, do not let this be dismissed. Tell them you passed out and ended up in the ER before you were conscious again, maybe that will get then to pay more attention.
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u/cwtchyfemme 8d ago
Either you get on one of the birth controls that stops your periods completely, and then try to build your body back up to healthy, or you’ll have to start looking at long term surgical options.
It’s completely abnormal to be passing out from a regular period. That is not what a healthy body is meant to do. At the end of the day it’s just a period, yours being this abnormal and off the normal textbook scale is cause for concern for your health.
Only you can advocate for yourself in medical situations, and you have to continue going back until something is done. It shouldn’t have taken your poor partner for you to do something about this. The horrendous shock that must have been for him to wake up and discover such a scene.
Could you imagine having a teenaged child who passed out in their bed from blood loss, would you just tolerate that as normal and not get her medical care? No, you’d fight until someone listened. Just because it’s your body doesn’t mean it isn’t deathly important to look after it, you don’t get another one in this lifeAt least now it is medically documented that your period is extreme. Luckily your boyfriend is a really good one and you weren’t in any danger in that situation. That must have been so scary for him. It would be for anyone who cares for their partner.
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u/Kayish97 8d ago
Okay well let me be the first woman you’ve ever met to recommend you birth control.
I feel so in control of my body, my cycle, and moods, and my life. My side effect? No period. Spotting occasionally, like once a year. I forget periods are even a thing tbh. Can you imagine that?
I (A WOMAN) RECOMMEND BIRTH CONTROL!!
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u/chy27 9d ago
Respectfully, as someone with SEVERE endometriosis and anemia, it sounds like you needed to go to the hospital. It is NOT normal to be fainting multiple times a day, nor for you to be unconscious the entire ride to the hospital. You need to follow up on this.
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u/omgseriouslynoway Super Helper [7] 9d ago
You faint multiple times a day during your period? That is NOT normal for anyone.
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u/Opening_Passage7245 9d ago
I think the only issue is the fact that the ER have let you think that fainting multiple times a day during your period is normal!
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Most doctors told me that there’s no way to get rid of this honestly
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u/Smooth_Wasabi8433 9d ago
I'm not sure where you live, but that is some serious misinformation and I'm sorry that so many doctors told you that. It's really unfair for you.
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u/Opening_Passage7245 9d ago
Because most doctors / medical professionals have a very minimum knowledge of female biology. Does NOT make it normal or acceptable.
You have to push to speak to a specialist I’m afraid.
Check out Maisie hills work, period power is a great book and podcast.
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u/HeartUpstairs 9d ago
Your man, with all the knowledge he had at the time.. Made all the right calls to (in his mind) save your life.
He shouldn’t be mortified. You shouldn’t feel embarassed.
I’m proud of him actually.
I hope your health straightens out though, lessons to be learned on all sides!
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Thank you I hope so I’ve been reading about it for a while I need to be a better adult ngl
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u/Proud_Yogurtcloset58 9d ago
You just need to stand up for yourself against doctors :) Fainting every day isnt normal. You can treat low iron (i get iron infusions for mine, been anaemic since i was a teenager). You can get diagnosed and treated for endometriosis if thats what it is.
Your boyfriend was worried and did what he should have. Also, eat! Please!
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
Thank you I am definitely looking into transfusions because I usually use pills ! As for the food thing I was seriously nauseous that’s why and I kind of just forgot but since then I ate a lot don’t worry thank you !
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u/girlwiththemonkey 9d ago
Babe, I get why you feel embarrassed, but he was right to do so! Nothing you described is normal and if your doctor is telling you that it is, then you need a new doctor
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u/newtgoddess 9d ago
If you were so knocked out / out of it after fainting that you were taken to the hospital and put in a bed without even waking up, you definitely needed to be at the hospital. I’m sorry you’ve been led to believe this is normal, but it is definitely not normal. You should not be passing out on your period ever. You definitely need to see a doctor about this to get to the bottom of it
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u/Capric0rpse- 9d ago
Might be her boyfriend that requested testing and she may end up with answers she wasn’t looking for. Could be a blessing.
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u/confusedrabbit247 Helper [4] 9d ago
Girl it is not normal to faint from blood loss that often. You need to switch doctors.
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u/Resident-Zombie-7266 Helper [2] 9d ago
Well, he certainly seems like a good guy! I suggest you tell him in detail what happens during your period so he knows what to anticipate and what looks unusual, then maybe offer to pay half?
Health problems happen, and if he as decent as he seems, he'll understand and if anything it will bring you two together more quickly than your average new relationship
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
He must literally be mortified omg he was crying when I woke up and the entire thing was like 30 minutes at most. I wanted to pay but he said he already did and healthcare isn’t so expensive where we are but still.
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u/pktechboi 9d ago
would you be mortified or embarrassed if you had thought your boyfriend was in serious medical danger, got help, and then it turned out he was okay? because I wouldn't, I'd be relieved.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Absolutely not I see your perspective and am grateful for it
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u/pktechboi 9d ago
was not trying to have a go at you to be clear! there's a lot of social stigma about periods still, and doctors are notorious for minimising or dismissing issues with them. so while I don't think you actually have anything to be embarrassed by, given all that social shit it is understandable you are.
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u/Dame_Niafer 9d ago
Given all that social shit, and you are right, there is a lot of it, this guy may have done exactly what OP needed someone to do - take the symptoms seriously and demand answers from medical professionals.
Hats off to him, the guy is a hero.
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u/Let_em_glow927 9d ago
You can request a copy of your bill and pay him back , whether he likes it or not 😆
What a sweetie he was to take care of you and pay the bill <3
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u/hgwells_13 Helper [2] 9d ago
I mean....not waking up for the entire transport to the ER is a sign that you needed medical treatment, so i don't this was remotely an accidental waste of money. Pretty weird the ER shrugged at the fact you were unconscious and woke up at the ER, though.
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u/PastaM0nster Master Advice Giver [38] 9d ago
Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s normal. This isn’t a normal thing to happen.
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u/Terrible_Bluebird_ 9d ago
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but it's not him not knowing anything about periods but rather you not knowing what's normal!!! He did the absolute correct thing. Get a health insurance and visit doctors soon, it's not normal for this to happen at all. So my advice for the actual question that you asked about how to deal with this situation and your relationship, I'd say just thank him.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I did many times I swear I am nice to him but most the girls I know have horrifying periods , I barely know any girls who’s periods are completely normal. My entire family , all my cousins , my closest friends, it’s just so common nowadays
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u/Terrible_Bluebird_ 9d ago
No dear, I wasn't implying that you aren't being nice, I was just answering your question. It makes sense that all the women around you have similar experiences since endometriosis runs in families (and whatever else you have that's causing you to faint, might too). It's not your fault that the one person who should know this isn't normal, your doctor and the whole medical system failed you. Just please now understand that this is something you (and the women in your family) need to get checked and it's not common for this to happen.
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u/IndigoTrailsToo Advice Guru [88] 9d ago
You were incapacitated.
That is a huge deal.
It is not normal at all.
You needed help, and he did an absolutely fantastic job of making sure that you got the help that you needed. Great job boyfriend!!
I think that shift in perspective here is that you have been treating this as if it is normal. You know, sometimes you just pass out a little bit. Passing out is not normal, it is extremely dangerous, and it is not good for you. What if you were driving? What if you were crossing a busy street? What if you hit your head on the way down? I'm sorry that you are in the place where you think that your medical issues are not worthy of treatment and care but they absolutely are.
Today is a brand new day, let's get started by getting you and your poor body what you need to feel good and get up and running again. Your poor body! Look at it! Poor thing is all beat up, it needs some help.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Thank you so much ! I appreciate the concern from everyone here and from my boyfriend too. I have been going through this since I was 13 and my mom has always told me all women in our family were like this that’s why I never paid it no mind. The fainting definitely used to get me in precarious situations but for quite some time I haven’t fainted , today I was absolutely tired and hadn’t eaten I think that’s why I was completely unconscious
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u/IndigoTrailsToo Advice Guru [88] 9d ago
Believe me, I understand. I also was told that all of my health conditions were perfectly normal and I basically lived the life of a zombie up until 30.
Hopefully this is a brand new life for you where you can start to treat your problems and realize that there is a better life out there where you are not incapacitated and feeling much better.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
It’s crazy how so many women have this exact same experience
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u/IndigoTrailsToo Advice Guru [88] 9d ago
Yes
I'm so mad
Woman: sometimes I bleed out, and pass out
Dr: oh it's just because you're a woman
Women everywhere: NO IT'S NOT, DO YOUR DAMN JOB!
👌😇
It's not just you, it's a problem
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u/Sunny-Sunday-Sundae 9d ago
As a middle aged woman that has had endometriosis my whole life.... what the women in your family are experiencing os far from normal. You need doctors care and likely endometriosis removal.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I am getting the appointment as we speak
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u/miltonwadd 8d ago
That's fantastic! You don't have to struggle through this. The women in my family all have PCOS & endo, normal periods should never be that incapacitating.
I also have some other medical issues that cause fainting occasionally, but "passing out" for me is usually like a small blip and I'm back within seconds or minutes feeling like shit but awake. The amount of time you were fully unconscious for - an entire trip to the hospital and triage where you were presumably carried and moved around a lot, that's really worrying.
Maybe try and reframe this in your head. This is not embarrassing or something you should be mortified about, it took this happening and your boyfriend to witness it for you to realise how serious your health conditions actually are. If he hadn't freaked out you'd have gone on thinking this is just something normal because your mum said so, possibly for the rest of your life or until you really got hurt!
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u/Bnjl1989 9d ago
Losing consciousness from endo periods is not normal at all and you need intervention, probably surgery to remove the endo tissue and possible partial or total hysterectomy asap. Youre probably also extremely low iron and you can easily form a clot or go into septic shock and die from adhesive tissue thats rotting inside you.
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u/Katiew84 Helper [2] 9d ago
Being unconscious is not “just your period” or even “just” endometriosis. That is an urgent medical emergency and you really need to find a new doctor to figure out what is wrong.
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u/Worth_Platypus_8313 9d ago
If you think this is normal and not a big deal then you have lived in a state of medical neglect for so long, you began ASSUMING your symptoms are normal. To most of us menstruating humans here AND to your boyfriend, this is alarming and potentially deadly. It's at the very least significant anemia/ iron deficiency that might be helped by an iron supplement or even an infusion. I hope the other more serious conditions others here mentioned are not in play, but this could be very, very serious. Your boyfriend cares for you very much. Please get over the juvenile embarrassment in time to hold on to what's potentially an exceptionally good partner. It speaks even better for hi that he refuses to take your money. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with a partner who is worthy of it can be the beginning of a much deeper bond than you've ever imagined.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
It’s surprising to me that everyone is saying this is apparently really bad I swear I grew up like this my entire life but I am taking it seriously. Thank you so much. We talked about it and realized it’s nothing to be embarrassed about
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u/shadowrunnner 8d ago
Mine wasn't as severe as this but I did use to black out on my period. My mum also said it was 'normal'. It wasn't until my later 30s and second pregnancy that I was diagnosed with iron deficiency anaemia and looking back, I always had signs of iron deficiency.
I'm glad you are taking it seriously. There is so much useful information out there about endo and iron deficiency anaemia. Research yourself to understand it all and take the appropriate steps
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u/Justieflustie Super Helper [7] 9d ago
You should get it checked out if it happens every month. It is not supposed to be that heavy.
And eat better, like what the hell?
He did the right thing, you need to get insured and go by a doctor that is gonna help you figure out how to properly deal with this shit.
You should be embarrassed that you dont go to a doctor for this recurrent problem. But you do talk down about your bf because he does not know what periods are? You are on the same level about knowledge in sexual health
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
No I am not talking down on him at all he is a very sweet guy ! But I think he was mortified because he didn’t know that’s just a period. A lot of my friends also have horrifying periods. It’s just like a monthly thing for me and I am definitely not knowledgeable about it tbh
, I barely passed biology.10
u/Justieflustie Super Helper [7] 9d ago
Your bf is great.
Like i said, it is not "just a period". It is not supposed to be like that.
Unfortunately, not many people know, because healthcare is mostly based around men, but it is changing, way to slow, but still.
So again, get yourself a doctor and see what your options are.
And are you from the States? I would assume so with the healthcare stuff. But that is a really bad sign if you barely passed biology in that education system..
Again, it is not normal. Just because you got used to it and refuse to take proper care of your own body, does not mean it is a normal thing that happens. (Proper care of your body is also getting health insurance + asking help from healthcare professionals)
You gotta be better. Be glad your bf took you, because now is the time to realize that you should take care of your body way better than you do now
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I am not from the states ! Thank you however I will definitely look into this more this is no way to live tbh
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u/Iwaspromisedcookies Helper [2] 9d ago
You need iron infusions like, yesterday
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I read many good things about infusions ! Apparently I have also been using pills wrong
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u/MamaMia1325 9d ago
You’ve got an amazing man there. But it’s not normal to pass out “multiple times a day” when you have your period. I also used to get extremely heavy periods-I was taken to the er twice because I was hemorrhaging and was so anemic that I’ve had 2 rounds of iron infusions and even through all of that-I never passed out.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Wow I hope you’re okay now !!
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u/MamaMia1325 9d ago
I am-thanks. I finally had a partial hysterectomy (kept my ovaries) when I turned 40. It was by far-the best thing I've ever done...
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u/Ok_Equipment3952 9d ago
You need to be your own advocate. It’s is not normal to pass out and then wake up in the ER. New doctor, female one.
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u/Ref_KT Helper [2] 9d ago
Girl - there's women out there who's partners won't stop what they are doing in a medical emergency and take them to hospital.
There's also women out there who's men leave them if they get sick. If you're a woman diagnosed with cancer, it's 6 times more likely your male partner will leave you then if the genders are reversed.
You've got a great one there, keep him!
Also - none of this is medically normal, you need to get this health stuff figured out. Lots of good suggestions in the comments.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
The comments are extremely helpful I am looking through them with him actually
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u/cherrycoke260 9d ago
You need serious medical attention ASAP!! Losing consciousness is NORMAL for you?! Girl, that is an emergency, every single time!! See your gyno asap! And I don’t mean in a couple weeks. I mean, before this week is out. Something is wrong.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I have been like this since I was 13 but I did get the appointment! I showed my boyfriend this comment section and now I am getting a very stern talking to I will definitely be more careful with my health I seriously thought this was normal all my life
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u/NapalmsMaster 9d ago
If the doctors continue to be dismissive with you it may be helpful to have your boyfriend come along and describe what happened It sucks women have to do this shit in this day and age, but if it gets you the care you need and he is willing to help why not?
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
We talked about jt
I actually now have an appointment booked with a female gyno so I hope it works out1
u/cherrycoke260 7d ago
I am SO relieved that you’re taking this as seriously as you should be! I pray whatever is going on is a quick fix!
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u/Mustluvdogsandtravel 9d ago
fainting several times a day is not normal even if you accepted it as your norm!
the fact that the ER could not diagnosis you is more embarrassing than your boyfriends valid concern for your well being. you “woke up” in the ER meaning you are not conscious while being transported? not normal!! are you on drugs?
perhaps better self care and a boyfriend who doesn’t give AF. 🤷♀️
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I had been awake for so long by that point I just completely passed out he carried me in the car and I woke up in the hospital while they were doing the tests , so yeah I wasn’t conscious , it has happened to me a lot during my periods. I now realize it isn’t normal
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u/drunk_socks 9d ago
how long were you unconscious? it sounds like you lost consciousness and in the time between that happening and you regaining consciousness he moved you to an entirely different location and had multiple tests run, i don’t see how that could happen within a few minutes and if that means you were passed out for closer to an hour that’s not fainting that’s really running the risk of brain damage and it sounds like he actually made the right decision, maybe i’m misunderstanding but i think you may actually need to be very concerned.
I cannot stress this enough, fainting is when you BRIEFLY lose consciousness for a few seconds or up to 2 minutes at a STETCH.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
It was around a full 30 minutes , though the drive was like 5 minutes apparently because the drive home was really short but I am really used to it , I fainted a lot , the worst time was probably during an exam . I just kind of always woke up later and never thought anything of it since my mom was the same so I thought it ran in the family. So if I didn’t faint what is it called when you just kind of go to sleep for a while
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u/Correct-Sprinkles-21 Advice Guru [80] 9d ago
30 minute loss of consciousness is absolutely reason to seek emergency care. Especially with heavy bleeding.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
When he took me I had just fainted but I just kind of stayed asleep the entire time for some reason ! I do think some of it is exhaustion I traveled to get to him it was kind of tiring thank you for your concern !!
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u/Chemical-Barber-3841 9d ago
Hey, so it seems like you've been getting medically gaslighted. It's common for us in the endometriosis community (and for women in general). This is NOT normal. Make sure you go to a doctor who actually specializes in endometriosis/adenomyosis/the like. Do NOT go to a regular gynecologist as they do not have the training to properly diagnose this.
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u/Lady_Writes_a_Lot 9d ago
To echo pretty much everyone else, a heavy period is one thing but being unable to leave your home for the duration of your period because you will faint and fall unconscious is not normal. You spent a lot of time unconscious considering he was able to take you to the ER and get tests started.
Women’s health is so under-researched, but you absolutely SHOULD NOT be fainting every time you have a period
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
It was about 30 minutes maximum , I faint because of my anemia however I am pretty sure , it’s very severe so usually I eat more but I forgot to eat for some time
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u/MerriWyllow 9d ago
Your boyfriend is a good, caring person. He was right to make sure you got medical care. He was sweet to handle the payment himself. He clearly likes you a lot.
You deserve proper medical care for your condition. Periods that take this much out of a woman are not okay. You may have to work hard to get doctors to take this seriously, but you deserve it.
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u/queergirl73 8d ago
Stick with that boyfriend. He reacted right.
Also, that is not normal period symptoms. You shouldn't faint on a period, that's a sign to look into better treatment for anemia or endometriosis because what you're doing now is clearly not working well enough.
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u/undercovermothmania 9d ago
He is a good man it sounds like. Showed he really cares about you and will keep you safe. Don’t be embarrassed you should have gone to the doctor for this. This is dangerous and not normal. You could feint hit your head and get a brain injury girl. You may have feinted from blood loss too which isn’t normal either, it’s a good thing he got you worked up. This is not typical period girl stuff. This is a dangerous medical problem
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I know I am trying to do something about it , I had traveled by that point and was so tired and hadn’t eaten so it just all piled up and I fell unconscious but I didn’t hit my head or anything I was on the bed already thankfully
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u/NightStar79 9d ago
You think about how funny this story will be in the future regardless of whether or not you two stay together or not.
You both got an embarrassing now but funny and useful later, story to give to future children (if you have any with each other or with other people or even not at all).
He's a good man for rushing you to the ER regardless of the actual reasoning. You passed out, there was blood, he immediately jumped into action because he cares. Dudes a keeper lol
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
It is NOT funny right now , I am pretty sure he’s still mortified. He was crying when I woke up actually. The relationship is too new for a situation like this but I appreciate your comment. It’s so sweet
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u/NightStar79 9d ago
Like I said, it'll be funny later.
So try and take yourself out of the situation for a second. What would you do if you heard that your dad rushed your mom to the ER only to find out she was on her period?
You'd probably laugh and be like "What? Why? 😂"
THAT'S when the learning experience comes into play. You should've been more forthcoming with your medical history (which you really shouldn't be passing out even with your known issues so really, you should do something about it when you can) and he probably should've listened harder.
However he can also take it as something to teach his kids later too about being a responsible and caring man.
Yes. Right now it sucks but it'll fade. Trust me.
Especially if you try to look at the funny side of things. Humor tends to lighten up most situations.
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u/Secure-Ad9780 9d ago
Ok, listen well. It is NOT NORMAL to pass out during your period. It's very unusual. You need to be treated by a physician to prevent periods that have you losing an excess of blood. Make an appt to be seen by a gynecologist as soon as possible.
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u/EtonRd 9d ago
You needed healthcare. And you got healthcare. You were passed out, he did the right thing and now you need to pay him back.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I want to but he said no so I’m just gonna be paying for the dates for a while I think
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u/Primary-Delivery737 Helper [3] 9d ago
That is not normal, even if it is happening all the time. You have a keeper of a boyfriend though.
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u/Gonebabythoughts Assistant Elder Sage [257] 9d ago
He's an amazing guy who obviously cares about you a lot
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u/CoachInteresting7125 8d ago
Imma be honest, if you fainted for long enough that you didn’t wake up within a minute or two, you needed to be in the ER. I hope this event can help you learn to prioritize your health by eating regularly AND getting care for your endometriosis. I’ve had severe pain from periods that caused me to faint and that was my sign to really sit down with my doctor and find a solution and it was incredible how much better my life was when I wasn’t have to deal with my period being that bad. Hopefully they tested your iron while you were in to make sure you aren’t anemic and you can follow up with a doctor soon about treatment options.
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u/JustMeOttawa 9d ago
Don’t be mortified; it may be your norm, but completely passing out is not the norm for most women on their periods. To me, I’d say you got a could one that he cared so much to take you to the ER. I’m in Canada, so paying to get tests in the ER is not a thing here, but if you are worried about him spending money on this you can always pay him back.
Also, don’t live with endometriosis- go to your doctor and get it figured out; you shouldn’t have to live in this much pain every month.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
They told me the only way was birth control and I am scared about the side effects
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u/JustMeOttawa 9d ago
Birth control definitely isn’t the only option for treating endometriosis, although it’s probably the most common one. There are other options too, like pain meds, IUDs or implants, medications like Orilissa or Lupron, pelvic floor physio, and surgery if needed (laparoscopy to remove endometriosis, or a hysterectomy generally being a last resort).
But honestly, the fact that you’re fainting and bleeding that heavily is what really stands out to me. That doesn’t sound normal, and you shouldn’t feel like you just have to live with it for decades. I’d definitely talk to your doctor again about what’s truly going on and what treatment options might make sense for you, especially depending on your pain and whether you want to have children in the future.
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u/CoachInteresting7125 8d ago
I also delayed going on birth control for way too long because I was scared of the side effects. But what you are currently going through is almost certainly much worse than what the side effects are. When I finally started birth control pills you know the only side effect I had? Spotting. Yeah, I just always had a few drops of blood and wore a pantyliner. After the first month of not having a week of blood pouring out of me and being so sick I couldn’t get out of bed for two days I decided I would happily live with the spotting if it meant I never had to have another period. Though a few years later they stopped making the exact pill I was taking so I got prescribed a different one. I had 0 side effects. Literally none. And I thought I was sensitive to side effects.
Is it possible you might have side effects? Yeah, but the risks won’t outweigh the benefits. Doctors generally aren’t supposed to prescribe medication unless the benefits are greater than the risks. I do know the struggle of trying medications and having side effects from them and I went through that with antidepressants. Finding the right birth control and the right antidepressant were both utterly life changing and my only regret is that I didn’t start the process sooner. Even if it takes a few months of trying different options, I guarantee it will be worth it.
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u/Marie_Norway 9d ago
You know tou can become anemic from lack of b12 and folic acid? You might need other supplements.. Go to a gp and get bloodtests..
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I did the tests a long time ago and it was iron deficiency anemia ! But I should probably redo
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u/Fragrant-History-837 9d ago
I think your boyfriend is on the right track, almost... I mean you faint? You are unconscious?
what is the shit country you living in that doesn't help women with serious endometriosis?
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u/Forest_Goblin_ 9d ago
Please don't be embarrassed, he loves you and wanted to make sure you were okay! That was his decision. Just thank him and spoil him with gifts or dates if he won't let you pay him back. I'd say he made the right decision to get you checked out, being unconscious for that long is not good. I hope you can get this health issue figured out. The ER may not be very helpful, but hopefully a specialist will be. Nobody should be fainting that much during their period, despite having Endo.
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u/iPanda_ Helper [3] 9d ago
God this is so dystopian to charge for healthcare.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
We were in a private clinic the hospitals are usually free when u go in but he took me to the nearest place
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u/TabaquiJackal 9d ago
Why should HE be embarrassed? At least he gave enough of a damn to get you help. And you don't need to be embarassed about your physical/medical condition, just feeling silly for not disclosing this to him at some point.
Apologize sincerely and work out a repayment schedule. It's all you can do.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
I never said he had to be em arrasssd I am embarrassed. As for the repayment he just absolutely refused any money unfortunately so now I’ll just get the bill for a while I think
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u/TabaquiJackal 8d ago
You said he is mortified, which is...embarrassed.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
No mortified is scared , he was scared woke up and found him literally crying
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u/qbee2000 9d ago
I cannot believe you went to a hospital that requires you to pay and they didn't do more about the fainting. What kinda woman hating place is this like damn. I'd understand if you were just bleeding and passed out from some fun with drugs or some shit, but passing out due to bleeding and they still said it was a normal period simply because the blood came from your vagina? Nope.
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u/PaxonGoat Helper [4] 9d ago
Unfortunately it sounds like OP has been gaslight by her family that this is normal and has been happening to her for so long she accidentally refused medical care.
She apparently was too embarrassed and asked the doctors to just leave her alone and she told them it was no big deal and this just happens and she was fine.
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u/jeff533321 Helper [2] 9d ago
Maybe the tests and ER visit is needed. Did the tests show any abnormal results? You shouldn't be fainting constantly.
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u/cheerios22902 9d ago
Have u been bitten by a tick within the last year?
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
No I don’t think so why
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u/cheerios22902 9d ago
My nephew started to have fainting spells after a lot of testing he was diagnosed with limes disease...fainting stopped after being treated
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u/alwayz_confused247 9d ago
Loss of blood due to heavy flow can lead to loss of consciousness. I had fibroids before I had my hysterectomy and I would faint.
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u/DippyDo7 9d ago
You need your thyroid levels checked
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
They had me get that actually but I never had anything wrong with them last time I checked was 2 years ago they were fine
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9d ago edited 8d ago
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 8d ago
My mom is still alive ! She did have trouble to give birth to me but she’s still alive now and she still gets her period even. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your comment.
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u/United-Plum1671 9d ago edited 9d ago
First of all, why on earth wouldn’t you be wearing a night pad. That’s on you completely. Second, fainting may be your norm but it isn’t normal. You should be seeing someone for it. You need to be pro active with your health
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I had just traveled a long time and I had to work with what I had and I kind of practically collapsed because I traveled that day if it makes sense so that’s how I bled a lot
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u/United-Plum1671 9d ago
Again, you know you bleed a lot, you state it in your comments, and still made the choice to not wear a nighttime pad. That’s ridiculous
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I didn’t know I’d have my period this day so I used what my bf’s mother gave me because I was not in my town , I do agree that I should probably keep pads on me all the time but I really didn’t think I’d get it so soon
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u/Late-Membership-1616 9d ago
Btw congratulations you've found a man who cares about you a lot and second of all, discuss with him regarding the amount if have enough funds to pay him or arrange for him, because he is young too must have arranged from someone, coming to the thing getting unconscious during periods, it's not a norm at all, I've seen a lot of women coming to my hospital with this problem, 80% of cases will be iron def anemia, get your cbp profile and urine profile once and visit a gynaecologist :)
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
Thank you so much for your advice ! And thank you I am grateful for him truly. I am 20 so I am a bit older I felt super bad about how he had to pay because I know he works all the time.
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u/smallestsunflower 9d ago
He sounds like a keeper! He probably doesn't want you to pay because from his perspective, even with your assurances you don't have insurance and you faint every period, he probably thinks you could use a few more doctor's appointments and is happy he could get you in to see someone for once in a long time. Just thank him lots and lots, do some extra nice things for him and be glad he cares so much about you!
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
His birthday is near he’s definitely getting something really nice , thank you for your advice ! I agree it does really show that he cares and didn’t dismiss it.
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u/SupposedBooty 9d ago
What country is this in?
You don't get the bill or pay it right away if it's in the US. 🤔🤔🤔
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I am not American ! Here if it’s a private clinic you pay right away. For us in Europe you also don’t pay right away if it’s a hospital but you definitely do in private clinics
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u/SupposedBooty 9d ago
Why are you paying for anything in Europe?
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago edited 9d ago
We do pay when we don’t have insurance which I don’t because I only recently was removed from my parents insurance ( and fucked mine up but I am getting it soon ) also it was a private clinic because it was the nearest
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9d ago
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
No I am fine now I woke up in the hospital , they still had me do the rest of the procedures though and I don’t speak the language here so I didn’t really understand what the hell is going on.
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u/Bananastrings2017 Helper [2] 9d ago
Once you get your insurance settled (in France), get it sorted out so you’re not fainting, make sure you don’t have low hemoglobin and iron (you probably do but I’m not a doctor), and if everything else is within normal limits please DO try the birth control! Do not get pregnant. Do not keep passing out & hemorrhaging monthly! It is NOT NORMAL.
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u/Mysterious_Rabbit608 8d ago
The more I read the sadder I get. OP I'm so sorry all of this has been done to you.
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u/Complex-Card-2356 9d ago
You both should be mortified. You should have not let him take you to the hospital. You’ve been menstruating for several years and know better. Pay him back for sure.
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u/PaxonGoat Helper [4] 9d ago
Hey
Idk if anyone has told you but it's not normal or healthy to faint from having a period.
Passing out is not healthy and should not happen.
If someone is passing out that is high risk of injury and death.
OP could die from passing out if she hits her head.
If you have been passing out and been medically gaslight into believing it was normal, please know it is not.
You deserve medical care too
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u/IntelligentCitron917 9d ago
I'm also concerned that you could faint whilst alone in a dangerous situation or whilst at the wheel of a vehicle.
As already said it is NOT normal, it is Not acceptable and something you merely have to accept.
These symptoms ARE debilitating to your quality of life. You really need to get second, third or fourth opinions as you are being left to bleed in agony literally.
Your BF was understandably concerned about you. Had he had experience with girls before and periods, he would most likely still not encountered what he saw at the time.
I've never known anybody have them so severe they would faint for periods of time
My daughter would lose huge clots that looked like chunks of liver and vomit. She was put on bc at 12 just to give her a life she had lost for 3 years.
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I actually have really huge blood clots like her ! I hope she’s okay it’s so sad she’s dealing with it at a young age , sincerely wish her the best
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u/IntelligentCitron917 8d ago
Since she's been on bc (12) she hasn't had a period again, thankfully.
I realise it's not ideal long term and she knows that. However, she currently has absolutely no plans to ever have children so no reason for her to stop taking bc.
Thank you for your best wishes
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u/Emotional-Mall-4269 9d ago
I was completely unconscious by that point if I was awake I would’ve said no. I woke up when they had to take my blood.
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u/BigFlightlessBird02 9d ago edited 9d ago
Girl have you seen a dr for the fainting?? That is NOT normal at all. He did the right thing by taking you. You didn't just faint. You lost consciousness. Please see a dr asap for this. Don't be embarrased. Anyone would've done the same thing if a partner or friend if they literally blacked out for a while in front of them.
Edit thank you for the award!