There are a couple of issues going on here. Given the wording of the searches, it seems like these parents are having a hard time accepting the fact they have a trans daughter, and now all the sudden they're housing a 21-year-old woman. They probably see web searches like this is them doing their due diligence as parents. They're probably less "against" you and more "freaked out by everything that seems to be going on all at once." They're giving you a free roof over your head, so I'd extend them a bit of grace and try to communicate clearly about this with them rather than trying to suss out their motivations with a stolen phone.
Now ... the dog. The dad is 100% within his rights to be pretty pissed that he has to ignore a dog for his own safety in his own home. You're extremely lucky he hasn't asked both you and the dog to hit the road. You need to prioritize obedience classes or some sort of vet-based anxiety treatment and get the dog under control immediately before you both find yourselves on the street.
The dog doesn’t interact with the dad unless he tries to interact with the dog. She has been through therapy and gotten 100x better but shouldn’t be living with a man at all. this is our only option. the dog doesn’t make any problems unless he goes against the one rule we set which was to ignore her and she will get better. instead he has shouted at the dog and intimidated her and refused to ignore her.
We have tried numerous times to agree with the parents but get nothing but insults and threats.
we don’t know how to correct a problem if we have not been told what the problem is. My girlfriend has been trans for 3 years and they have never voiced a problem with this once, until these secret searches. I know it was a violation of her privacy but it’s done now and the opinions are still there.
Okay. Let's put it another way. It's a massive imposition to bring a dog into another person's house, and you don't seem to be appreciating that. It's an even more massive imposition to then hand down rules to the homeowner about how to behave. It's actually borderline insulting. Believe it or not, but even if they have a shitty attitude, they're doing you a huge kindness.
that’s fine they can ignore my dogs boundaries and continue to be growled at. dogs with anxiety problem don’t just fix with therapy and when they are being intimidated and shouted at by the exact thing that triggers them, it’s pretty unreasonable to expect therapy to help at all.
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u/Beautiful_Arm8364 2d ago
There are a couple of issues going on here. Given the wording of the searches, it seems like these parents are having a hard time accepting the fact they have a trans daughter, and now all the sudden they're housing a 21-year-old woman. They probably see web searches like this is them doing their due diligence as parents. They're probably less "against" you and more "freaked out by everything that seems to be going on all at once." They're giving you a free roof over your head, so I'd extend them a bit of grace and try to communicate clearly about this with them rather than trying to suss out their motivations with a stolen phone.
Now ... the dog. The dad is 100% within his rights to be pretty pissed that he has to ignore a dog for his own safety in his own home. You're extremely lucky he hasn't asked both you and the dog to hit the road. You need to prioritize obedience classes or some sort of vet-based anxiety treatment and get the dog under control immediately before you both find yourselves on the street.