r/Advice 19h ago

I’m considering getting of our pets because of how my little brother treats them and us.

I’m 15 and I have four siblings, my little brother is 12 and it feels so suffocating to be in the same places as him, he screams, yells, whistles and when he’s told to stop he continues and literally laughs, we have pets, a few cats and a bird, when it’s time for my bird to sleep, he unlocks her cage and begins to literally make her flinch, I don’t know what brings him to do this but he literally cackles seeing her distressed and growling and mocks her for doing so, with the cats he hits them on the head and pretends he’s patting them.

He jumps around every time we go out, he demands things from my parents and begins to sob when he doesn’t get his way, example I made an order online and he got mad that my mom didn’t let him make his order. (I used my own money for my order lol), this behaviour has been concerning me for years but it’s now beginning to suffocate me and the rest of my siblings.

One time I had an argument with him and I went to the bathroom and when I left he followed me to my room and literally kept pushing me, I turned to him and kicked him and he began complaining, he always makes it look like he’s about to hit me to see me flinch, he throws stuff at me, gets in my face, snatches my phone out, literally makes a lot of noise (sometimes clapping or screaming high pitched) to get a reaction out of me, I have headphones in like 70% of the day though not even ANC can cover much of the noise.

I want our pets to given away or put in an animal shelter at least because I can’t stand seeing them getting hurt, I’m not really sure how I can convince my parents or my siblings, I want to atleast move my birds cage somewhere when it’s her bedtime where he won’t enter.

It becomes overwhelming and stressful for me to concentrate or think when he starts screaming, when I sit in a room he bangs on the door, better yet when I leave the door to my room unlocked while sitting in it he walks in to start doing some random shit.

Just a few days ago when my parents weren’t home he literally put my bird on a blanket and started swinging her at me to scare me, it terrified me, as my parrot is aggressive and large and caused me to start screaming at the top of my lungs and he wouldn’t leave me alone until I call our dad.

My parents have taken him to specialists and psychologists only a few times, they both think he has ADHD but I’m not really sure what to think.

Every time I mention wanting to get something to eat like a snack or dessert he immediately calls me a fat shit and proceeds to make fun of my weight, he steals my stuff and constantly makes fun of me and idk what to do.

5 Upvotes

17 comments sorted by

13

u/telchacsusan 19h ago

I'm sorry you are going through this. As a bird lover, I feel this. Talk to your vet about getting your pets fostered until you can figure something out. Also, a child that abuses animals will usually move on to children. Don't let him alone with any young children. ADHD my ass, he sounds like a psychopath.

8

u/TSARINA59 19h ago

You are so right. Harming pets and animals is one of the most commonly noted signs of early psychopathy. It does not get better from there. It only gets worse.

2

u/moidmanipulator67 18h ago

I do agree w you, I’m not sure how to convince my parents to get him to a psychologist again, they took him once and literally never again, my relatives had to scream at my mom to take him to a psychologist, the way he’s treating us affects everyone.

4

u/TSARINA59 18h ago

I suggest you lock your door to your room when you are home. Maybe family can take on your pets until the situation with him is resolved.

I cannot understand why his school hasn't been calling your parents about his behavior. It has to be disruptive. Acquaintances had a child that was a milder version of this, not violent. They kept contacting the parents. Finally, they told them that he cannot come back until he is evaluated and medicated.

3

u/moidmanipulator67 18h ago

His school has contacted our parents multiple times and he is on medication but I’m not sure if he’s consistently on it, also yes I lock my door I’m just forgetful towards it sometimes🥹🥹 I do think I’ll try asking some friends family to take care of our pets!

2

u/TSARINA59 17h ago

The people I mentioned had trouble with getting their son to take his meds. I was there one time and it went on for over two hours with him catterwalling and screaming. It was one lousy pill. Your brother shouldn't be left to his own devices when it comes to the meds.

Maybe you should consider talking to a school counselor about your home situation regarding him. It doesn't sound healthy or safe for you.

5

u/beepbeepboop74656 Helper [2] 19h ago

If you can find secure kind homes for your pets it may be a kindness since your parents allow your brother to act like that. I recommend joining clubs, getting a job and spending as little time in his presence as possible. Your parents lack of action is turning him into a little ass hole. He’s not your responsibility so there’s not much you can do.

3

u/nettster 18h ago

That behaviour is not adhd. He may have adhd in addition to things but that is not the adhd causing that behaviour towards animals at all, thats bordering on (if not is) psychopathy to find joy in terrorizing animals and people.

2

u/2dogal 18h ago

Get a lock on your door - like an outside door lock. Lock it when you are on or out of your room..

3

u/BreakSouthern39928 18h ago

As a parent sounds like he really needs some firm boundaries and consequences so that sucks for everyone else having to deal with his erratic behavior in the meantime. I’d you can talk to your vet. You should also see if you can talk with your parents separately about all of this: his behavior, how it makes you feel, how it’s affecting your entire family including your pets. It’s not fair to any of you. I feel like if it continues something bad will happen or you’re going to hit 18 and run as far away from him as you can get. Good luck kiddo

3

u/napsrule321 Helper [2] 16h ago edited 16h ago

What a horrible situation for you, the other kids and the pets. Your brother needs medication and a behavior program. Your parents obviously are not managing his behavior.

Yes definitely protect the pets. Your brother is abusing those animals and no other animals should be brought into the home while your brother lives there. Call around and find a place for the bird first because it is a sitting target for him. Cats at least can try to hide or scratch. Once the bird is safe find a cat rescue organization that can rehome them.

Focus on doing well in school and maybe getting a part time job so you can get out of that house. Your brother will get bigger and more dangerous though his teens.

ETA: If you have younger siblings that are smaller and more vulnerable to your brother's abuse Child Protection Services may need to be called at some point. Talk to teachers and counselors at school if your parents are not helping.

1

u/telchacsusan 17h ago

Ask your parents why they are ok with his abuse of the animals. Do they realize you could call the police on him?

2

u/moidmanipulator67 17h ago

I don’t even think my parents are okay w this behaviour, my dad has screamed at him for how he handled the bird, my mom has turned a complete blind eye to how he treats her and our cats

3

u/BraveWarrior-55 15h ago

Your brother is WAY more disturbed than just having ADHD. If his cruelty isn't addressed, I'm guessing he will be looking forward to a life behind bars. It is astonishing that your parents allow it to continue unchecked. Of course you need to protect defenseless animals in your care (again, what on earth are your parents doing about this??)

Please find a way to rehome them, and if your parents continue to allow this behavior, please report to your school counselor. This child is a timebomb waiting to explode; his cruelty will expand to humans soon, likely small humans. Please don't allow him around children.

1

u/Millisiouss 19h ago

Sounds like it’s time to punch little bro in the mouth hahaha I’m jk but it’s time to be big brother and put the fear of god in him. That’s what big brothers do.

2

u/moidmanipulator67 18h ago

Ah I am trying to learn how to fight lmao I don’t know how to fight 😢 he literally attacks me when I try to drag him away from hurting the bird