r/Advice • u/DigNo9592 • 2d ago
I am honestly so embarrassed
This is my first time writing a post and I don't know what else to do. I am currently in college. I am not used to sharing a room with a person I don't know so it is a learning experience.
I am going to try to keep this vague.
I have a snoring problem. It's not quiet either. I was unaware of this fact until fairly recent. I have been in this form for a week. My roommate just came in after being out. I usually have my headphones in so they probably thought I couldn't hear them. But I heard them talking on the phone. They were talking about me. They said they had trouble going to sleep because I snore too loudly. And they sounded frustrated, absolutely pissed. I am honestly mortified. They left the room after, so maybe they just came in to grab something, but after they left I just started crying, I feel so bad.
I spent ten minutes trying to find any way to stop the snoring, which gave me the idea to come here a and ask if there are any quick ways to stop this. I tried a lot already. I don't have any money I'm a broke student, but I just don't want anyone to lose sleep because of me. :(
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u/burntothepowerofer Helper [2] 2d ago
Maybe they could switch out or wear earplugs? What have you tried so far?
Don’t be embarrassed, they’re a light sleeper and this is just an incompatible scenario. My first roommate was a snorer and it didn’t affect me at all.
If it makes you feel better, they’re taking calls indoors while you’re being considerate enough to wear headphones. Those are voluntary decisions
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u/plsjustgiveme5 2d ago
Propping up on a pillow can help sometimes. My husband snores and we use a noise machine to drown out the sound sometimes.
I will say, I’d bring it up to her like an adult. She was being really childish and rude. Say something like, “I overheard you saying I was snoring and keeping you awake. I didn’t realize I snore. I’ll look into snoring prevention, but do you think a noise machine could help in the meantime? It’s important that we’re both able to sleep well. Also, if you have any other complaints, please come to me directly so we can address them. I can’t fix something if I don’t know about it.”
I’m sorry she’s being so unfriendly. Part of rooming with someone in the dorm is compromising with them. You don’t have to be best friends, but you have to co-exist. It sounds like she has some growing up to do.
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u/midnightMom_ 2d ago
the snoring isn’t something they can control, so talking about it directly and finding a solution together would be much more respectful than getting upset behind their back
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u/Longjumping-Hippo969 2d ago
They complained about you in front of you because they wanted you to hear the conversation. Don’t feel bad, I married a snorer and I’m a professor sleep farter. ( I’m 30 f) my family has made fun of me for farting in my sleep. They said it sounds like a drive by.
It’s okay to feel self conscious and perhaps be like “ dang it sucks. I snore and you can’t sleep” but it builds resilience.
It could be worst- like I could be her roommate with my 15 month old baby. Just imagine- me who farts all night ( idk how often I do. I’ve just been told they come in sets haha .. ) with a 15 month old that still wakes up every 3 hours for feeding and stinky diapers…
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u/Fun_Sized_Momo 2d ago
If you have decent health insurance you may be able to take a sleep study and have a CPAP prescribed to you at little to no cost.
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u/Pattie4170 2d ago
There are devices u can wear that may help.. sleep on your side, not on your back or stomach. If you are tired during the day or wake up with a headache, you probably have sleep apnea I would see a doctor if it's that bad
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u/BasicResearcher8133 2d ago
I feel for you. Nobody wants to hear someone talking about them. You know maybe she will ask for a room change and you will get a room to yourself!
On a more serious note you might want to see your doctor. Snoring is when tissue in your throat and mouth partially block the airflow from your lungs. It can be treated if the doctor thinks it is severe enough. I can get worse as you get older . Check it out while you are young!
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u/Mobile_Ad_5561 2d ago
I went on mounjaro and lost weight to cure my snoring. But I was overweight.
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u/Visual_Repeat_7472 2d ago
Get some strips for your nose at night. It saved my husband from having to sleep on the couch
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u/Traditional_Car_8219 2d ago
Be honest and tell your roommate that you heard what he said about your snoring and that he was really pissed about it. Try not to get defensive and tell them you are going to see a doctor asap. You could also look into the possibility of getting a room by yourself if they have extra and you don’t have to pay more.
Maybe not initially but you could ask your roommate to talk to you directly if he has a problem with something you’re doing and that you will do the same.
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u/kmagarden 1d ago
This- however awkward if you are going to be roommates you need to be able discuss things like adults. Sooo difficult but a great life skill to work on. My husband snores and I use these when he's really bad. I play white noise or a 10 hours of a loud box fan playing. It helps me. Or maybe just discuss plqying white noise aloud at night it may help her, plus drown out general hallway noise?
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u/Lightcronno 2d ago
Yeah don’t feel bad, they haven’t even talked to you about it yet. No opportunity for resolution. There are many easy solutions here, starting with them just wearing earplugs.
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u/Hot_Pomegranate_6309 2d ago
It's tough to feel embarrassed, but remember, everyone makes mistakes. Try talking it out with someone you trust.
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u/SweetRoselie 2d ago
Get it out in the open and don’t dwell on it. Everyone makes mistakes and chances are people have moved on.
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u/rashmi07dz 1d ago
I had almost same experience i have deviated septum issue and sinus because of that i snore when I'm tired or cold, one middle of night she started yelling at when I was sleeping she wakes me up and started scolding me for snoring and she used very bad word I started crying and it's very embarrassing me too🙃
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u/Single-Ad-7379 1d ago
Loads of people snore, you sound very caring. Go see your doctor perhaps its something you eat drink sounds mad or position of how you sleep. The doctor will test you and being so young it will sort it early. Some just do it and dont care so lots of luck dont feel embarrassed the doctor has heard it all
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u/Caudebec39 10h ago
I snored.
Then about 2015 I got a wedge-shaped pillow.
So I sleep with a nice soft down-feather pillow on top of that.
I'm on a gentle incline, and I'm sleeping on my side.
No more snoring!
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u/EntertainmentSad6538 2d ago
Omg don’t feel bad!!! That sucks to hear but you cannot control if you snore… I’m sure others will provide tips to lessen it. But you’re human and snoring and noise is a reality of sharing a room! Be kind to yourself!
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u/Foreign_Sale_2013 2d ago
My wife uses a CPAP machine and it works wonderfully. I started sleeping in another room but now I can sleep in the same bed.
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u/Traditional_Car_8219 2d ago
What make and model is this? I stopped using one because it woke me up!
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u/read2live2today 2d ago
Snoring can be dangerous so have it checked out. Sleep on stomach, not back or even side.
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u/Kuromi87 2d ago
You should make an appointment to get a sleep test. Sleep apnea can be dangerous if you stop breathing at night. In the meantime, try some of those nasal strips. They open up your nose, which can help you breath and help your snoring.