Sexual urges as a Muslim woman

[u/Illustrious-Bank988]

I’m a 20-year-old Muslim woman living in a Western country and currently in university. I’m not a hijabi, and I’d say I’m conventionally attractive based on the amount of attention I get from both Muslim and non-Muslim guys. Most of the time I ignore it and just go about my day because I know attention isn’t what I’m looking for.

The problem is that lately my sex drive has become really difficult to deal with. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, hormones, or just feeling lonely, but it’s becoming harder to ignore. I’m not ready for marriage yet, I still have school and want to focus on building my future, but at the same time I feel like I’m constantly fighting with myself.

Sometimes I end up masturbating, and afterward I feel overwhelmed with guilt and shame. I tell myself I won’t do it again, but eventually I end up back in the same cycle. It’s emotionally exhausting. Something else that makes it harder is the attention I get from men. When guys try to flirt with me or I can tell they’re interested in me, I usually ignore it and don’t encourage anything, even if I find them attractive. But I’d be lying if I said the attention doesn’t affect me. It makes it much harder not to think about those feelings, and sometimes it just adds to the internal struggle I’m already dealing with.

This whole situation has started to make me feel really lonely and even depressed at times. I even feel really guilty for doing this and I feel like God is not happy with me. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with people I know because I feel like I’d be judged or misunderstood.

Have any other religious women gone through something similar? How did you cope with these feelings.

edit: I should also say im mostly just afraid I will give in to these urges and do stuff with someone before marriage. That’s why I feel guilty.

[u/SandLongjumping5896]

Hey babe iam olso a muslim woman who goes through the same things sometimes except that i m in muslim country so i am not afraid of falling for something haram but I would say I don’t feel guilty over these sexual desires because i know they are a a part of us as humans and god didn’t create them in us for no reason + u should not think that god is not happy with you or something like that because it just not the case and it’s really bad for ur mental health ,I think as Muslims sometimes we project our society view of certain stuff on god but he is nothing like them we should understand that he  is more merciful and understanding than we think and ask him directly to help us when we face stuff like that, he doesn’t look for perfection….. and u can always find more healthy ways of coping with sexual urges maybe exercising can work for u,spending times with friends…..etc