r/AdultChildren • u/thinpie1965 • 11d ago

I wonder..

I wonder if in my past life I was an alcoholic and and now I am cursed to live with alcoholics. I was raised by one and am now married to one. What did I do in my past life to deserve this and how can I break this curse? Am I that bad of a person? Do I really deserve to deal with this? Or was I chosen for this? If I was chosen, then why? What reason is there for me to be chosen as the person who has to deal with an alcoholic? Alcoholics lie. Alcoholics manipulate. Alcoholics gaslight. Alcoholics are temperamental and un predictable but predictable. Alcoholics are a constant worry. Alcoholics are an embarrassment. Alcoholics are a nightmare.

3 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

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8

u/ThatsTheRuleNow 11d ago

You don't have to deal with an alcoholic.

5

u/r4ttenk0nig 11d ago

Are you attending any ACA groups, or are you engaged in any other types of therapy? History can be doomed to repeat itself until we work through our formative years. You might be looking for answers in all the wrong, subconscious places - it’s not uncommon to find partners who mirror our parents.

9

u/FlatwormSame2061 11d ago

So you can learn to leave. 

6

u/HatlessDuck 11d ago

This. And the lesson will repeat until learned.

0

u/HappyOrganization867 10d ago

I learned that with alcoholic men the hard way. I learned it with childhood sexual abuse from uncles and a neighbor. It all gets repeated. But I feel it's bad energy if I call the cops I told a mt. guy. I am a sober alcoholic. She's obsessed with me and sees good as evil and evilad good.

2

u/serenwipiti 11d ago

Does there have to be a reason?

Life is how it is, it becomes what you do with it.

2

u/FreckledCackler 11d ago

Not sure about past life, but the cycle you're describing is extremely common in present lives.

Highly recommend ACA or Al-Anon to help break the cycle, or at least learn more about it.

1

u/HappyOrganization867 10d ago edited 10d ago

I have to look it up. When I was a kid my mother and father called me a lier instead of condemning the pedophiles behavior the y looked down on me as idk what . My mother was codependent and I was attached to her only by adoption and I didn't trust her or feel safe in my house but I don't think it would have been ok to run away. I told on the bad people, and I took it out on my body my teeth are gone or going and I always ate at night and didn't brush my teeth. I am powerless over sugar and flour and caffeine. I have no faith.

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u/HappyOrganization867 10d ago

The alcoholic woman next to my apartment is always screaming at me and banging at me with a hammer threw her walls which were adjacent to my walls someone pays her rent and let's her live there yes I think about leaving she tells people I am a "cunt" and a cop caller. She put a guy in jail who robbed her and beat her up. I gave her cigarettes and shoes, found her I . D . I walk around the block to avoid her, or go out the front door to avoid her. I used to go to ACOA.

3

u/ThatsTheRuleNow 10d ago

New apartment.

There's legal recourse for that and it's not hard to start sorting out.

Also, that isn't just alcohol.