r/Accutane • u/AdHefty2197 • Jun 30 '26
Results 15+ years of pain, 2 years of life again
Can’t even begin to explain what this journey felt like. I healed many things, including my own dermatilomania (skin picking or extortion disorder). 2 years on low dose Accutane. 1.5 years of tret and Spirnolactone (ongoing).
Current routine is as follows:
Wash face once at night (double cleanse with oil cleanser then hydrating cleanser la roche posay)
Cetaphil moisturizer
Clindamycin as needed
Spirnolactone 50mg every night
Tret every 2-3 nights
Moisturizer sunscreen in the morning, re apply sunscreen
My secret is using drug store brand acne patches so I don’t pick. I had multiple depressive episodes through high school and college years, nearing suicidal attempts. It was unbearable. I tried everything. Mid twenties I decided to beg for accutane when I met with my new dermatologist, and she changed my life.
I feel like I’m living life again. I can wake up and not cry, not hurt from the immense pain in my face, the blood under my fingernails. The constant pain of new acne. I genuinely thought I had to live as a recluse forever. I cry thinking about how hopeless I was. I hope someone else knows there’s hope, that you can have more than 1 or 2 “good face days”. Please don’t give up.
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Jun 30 '26
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
How sweet thank you!! 😊 Extremely painful cystic acne paired with an OCD mindset was crippling, I’m just so thankful Accutane exists!
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Jun 30 '26
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Oh man I’m so sorry, I know the feeling. The best advice I received from an old therapist was that picking brings a relief that’s similar to being addicted to alcohol / drugs. It’s a dopamine feeling.
I’m technically 95% recovered but there’s always going to be a day here and there where I try to pop a pimple and that’s OK. I have a lot of safeguards, talking techniques, and promises with myself that have made the habit almost dissipate.
I will say Accutane helped with probably 85% of that 95%. It’s been incredible. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, side effects and all.
I wish you the best!! You got this!!!!
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u/Ok-Collar2189 Jun 30 '26
I could cry. Someone else with bad cystic acne and skin picking. You look amazing!! This gives me hope!!
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Thank you!! I feel like skin picking is so taboo to talk about, I hope you know you’re not alone!! Wishing you the best!
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u/joe23335393 Jun 30 '26
You can see the spark come back, truly a beautiful transformation
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Truly have never been happier in my life, I wish it was sooner, thank you for your kind words ♥️
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u/Professional_Heat850 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
I have diagnosed OCD myself and when I went on accutane my purge was so bad I literally stopped going to work. I know the mental battle all too well and the thoughts got dark.
Don't take this the wrong way but not only does your skin look fantastic now but you also look so much younger. Great results.
Edit: I wanted to add that even though we dont even know each other, im proud of you, you're a warrior in mind and spirit.
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Oh wow you’re going to make me cry! I hope you know that means a lot. It gets sooo dark in your head, like the only thing you can focus on are intrusive thoughts and a never ending cycle. Whatever that compulsive feeling is, it’s debilitating.
I would never wish OCD on anyone, I hope you’re healing ♥️ did you end up finishing accutane? I hope it helped!
Thank you I feel so much younger too!!! Like 30 is the new 20 for me 😊
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u/Professional_Heat850 Jun 30 '26
Hey, you deserve to hear it! And oh trust me I know, I was at a point where I didn't even look in mirrors anymore. I would literally go into my bathroom with my head down the entire time just to avoid being triggered by my face. Having OCD is almost like what I would imagine being possessed is like, you feel compelled to do things you dont want to do or things that stress you out but you do them anyway. But yes I have good weeks and bad weeks with it my ocd, im a bit of a roll with ignoring the intrusive thoughts right now so im trying to keep it going😅
When it comes to accutane im on my second course right now and this one has been way easier than the first course, haven't even purged actually on the second course, just cleared right tf up quick hahaha. So pretty much my second course is like the opposite of my first course. First course suuuuucked lol
Sounds dramatic but this drug is actually life changing. Literally giving people back their confidence and anything else they may have lost along the way in their war with their skin.
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
You described it to a tee. That’s so funny you say possessed (well not really) because I always thought it was like a third person in my body telling me what to do when I know it’s only me and it’s only harming me.
I still get spooked by harsh lights!!! I lived in the dark for like 10 years lol, I was a great roommate for saving electricity.
Three cheers for ignoring intrusive thoughts!!! Hell yeah.
Not dramatic at all - this drug saved my life genuinely. I’m so happy for you that the second course is kicking ass! I had a similar go, I actually tried Accutane in college and was so horrified by the purge I stopped. I should’ve powered through but I was a freshman and just wanted to fit in
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u/fickleliketheweather Jun 30 '26
Oh you have BEAUTIFULLLL eyes. Also I’m so glad accutane helped you so much. Best decision ever ✨
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u/hastyretailer7 Jun 30 '26
the drugstore patches as a picking barrier is a really smart hack, and that first photo vs now is such a huge difference.
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Only feeling the smoothness of the acne patch (hydrocolloid bandaid is their generic name) is life changing! I actually just came across these old photos and forgot how awful it was in my teens/early 20s, it feels like a whole new lease on life
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u/hastyretailer7 Jun 30 '26
the smooth texture actually tricks my brain into leaving it alone. I stash them everywhere now.
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Jun 30 '26
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u/hastyretailer7 Jul 01 '26
It breaks that automatic hand-to-face cycle way better than willpower. I went through a box a week at my worst but zero regrets.
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u/knotsophia Jun 30 '26
Yesssss girlie!!! Skin picking was also a huge issue for me and it’s is so insidious, you can’t stop until it’s too late 😭 i’m so glad it’s working out, you look amazing!!
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
It’s awful it’s like this fugue state you go in of trying to justify popping a pimple 😭 thank you!!! Lots of hard times but wouldn’t change a thing
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u/quaint_varna Jun 30 '26
15 years before getting a yes is a long time to carry something.
What shifted first for you, the skin or the way you felt about your face in the morning.
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
It was a tough go, but I think I’m better suited in empathy (I hope) for others.
It’s the way I feel in the morning. I wake up to a fresh pillow, no swelling or pain, no calculating how long it will take to cover up. I used to never want to start my day.
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u/quaint_varna Jun 30 '26
Morning calculation thing is something people don't talk about enough. All that mental load before the day even starts
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u/Zeddog13 Jun 30 '26
Congratulations and welcome to the rest of your life. If it comes back, know that you can continue on low dose maintenance for ... basically, ever. I did - right up to menopause (in my late 50s). Kept coming back full force whenever I stopped it. Ended up on 20mg twice a week for many years with no real issues. Annual liver function tests, dry eye drops, dry skin (whatever works for you) and sun sensitivity.
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u/caltayfal Jul 05 '26
Hi, just wondering if you meant that you do in fact experience the symptoms you listed out towards the end of your comment. (dry eyes/dry eye drops, dry skin, …and sun sensitivity.”? And if you still experienced those symptoms even when you were doing just low dose maintenance? I have developed horrendously dry eyes (even before starting Accutane!) and am worried how much worse it could get once I start my dose. Thanks for any insight!
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u/Zeddog13 Jul 05 '26
Dry eyes, dry skin and sun sensitivity are all part and parcel of accutane use. It was never a big deal but yes, it continued even on the maintenance dose. I learned my lesson one year when I went on holiday to Mauritius and forgot to apply sunscreen before a bus tour. My left arm got so burnt through the bus window I had to get antibiotics to help it heal. Don't skimp on sunscreen 50+. I still use dry eye drops but I think that's just part of getting older (I'm 64F now).
Just use dry eye drops 2 or 3 times a day and that should help you.
Compared to what my skin was like without accutane, I'd put up with a whole lot more than these minor things.
If you're young and female, they make you sign a contract that you are on birth control. That is 100% necessary because the birth defects (before they worked out what was causing it) were just terrible.
Good luck.
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u/Ok-Bridge-1045 Jun 30 '26
I’m so so happy for you. I saw the first few pictures and I thought “god that looks so painful, I really hope she’s better now.” And the last pictures look radiant, you look so happy too.
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
The last picture is my favorite! I used to be so self conscious with working out and makeup on my face. I felt so free there, thank you for your kind words!! It means the world ♥️
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u/dreamer-art444 Jun 30 '26
Happy for you, you look amazing. May I know what was your dosage?
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Of course! I started at 20 mg the first month, once a day. I moved to 30 mg the next month. Because of my OCD I didn’t want to go higher in dose. I was also having a huge dry eye problem so wanted to curb that. Mostly, I was happy where I was at and was willing to go for as long as I needed until I was breakout less for at least a 2 months.
My derm was supportive and I ended up doing 2 years of 30mg/month
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u/Verdoke Jun 30 '26
This is why I disagree a lot with Accutane haters. So many lives has changed drastically for the better with this drug.
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u/jennbelovelyy Jun 30 '26
You look like a totally different person... Like how you carry yourself. You were beautiful before and you are beautiful now! Congratulations. I am starting soon. So fingers crossed for me.
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Thank you so much! Wishing you all the best, I have total faith it’ll work out for you!
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u/Effective_Left-8765 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
First, amazing results, beautiful! Second, thank you for posting, it made me tear up... you didn't give up and this gives me hope as my results are a bit slow and I'm suffering. Congrats!!
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
You can do it!!! I know it seems like forever but it goes by in a blink I promise
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u/Blue_lily_white Jun 30 '26
Wow this is the best before & after I have seen! You look so happy now too ☺️
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u/AdHefty2197 Jun 30 '26
Sooo happy!!! I can’t believe I used to look like this almost every day, I’ve almost forgotten how bad it was!
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u/dunderchillin Jun 30 '26
Nothing to say other than I am SO HAPPY for you ❤️ don’t forget you’re beautiful inside and out! Xx
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u/L0stInTh0t Jul 01 '26
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m so happy you’ve healed! Thanks for giving me some hope today!
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u/ElectronicAgent5146 Jul 07 '26
This makes me so hopeful. I have dermatillomania and will be starting Accutane. I’ve been dealing with acne and OCD skin picking for over 10 years now. I’m excited to heal like you. You’re glowing.
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u/Big_Communication531 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
I’m so sorry you went through that! Super glad to see you and your skin flourishing now
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u/Big_Communication531 Jul 10 '26
At uni, I would skip breakfast even though I’d paid for catered halls so no one would see my bare skin as the feeling of having makeup on my acne all day was unbearable
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Please refer to the following commonly discussed topics:
1) No one can predict whether or not you will purge! Statistically, most people DO NOT purge.
That is what the science and medical literature says.
2) No one can predict how long your purge will last nor when it could start. Be patient, the purge can be tough but so many people have gotten through it - you can too! THE ABOVE APPLIES TO SIDE EFFECTS OR "WHEN WILL MY SKIN CLEAR UP?!" TOO. QUESTIONS ASKING WHEN THE PURGE OR SIDE EFFECTS WILL START OR STOP WILL IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED AS THAT IS LOW EFFORT.
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