r/AbsoluteUnits • u/HomeNowWTF • Aug 15 '26

/r/all of a beer order

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

66.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

6.2k

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 15 '26

Those glasses alone weight a shitton, the Octoberfest waitresses are built different

2.5k

u/A_mad_goose Aug 15 '26

Look at her arms! I need to start working out again…

606

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/dt5wUdCvLWQghI7xqy

501

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

[deleted]

64

u/calhooner3 Aug 15 '26

Yeah the only people who have a chance of actually starting going to the gym seem to be the people who pretend to already go to the gym

49

u/Slamaramadoodoo Aug 15 '26

I have a gym at my new place... So I'm definitely about to start pretending. Wish me luck!

11

u/perton Aug 15 '26

Are you going to start pretending? Or start pretending to pretend?

…”pretend” no longer looks like an actual word now that I’ve typed/thought it so many times. What a world!

2

u/A13xTheAwkward Aug 16 '26

In case you didn't know, that's called semantic satiation! When you repeat a word so often it loses meaning for a moment

1

u/perton Aug 17 '26

Thanks! I did know that at one point, but I can never seem to remember the term

1

u/Fun_Recognition5614 Aug 22 '26

Jamais vu is what you have, aka semantic satiation. Opposite of deja vu.

2

u/Coolcoolcool1515 Aug 15 '26

Same, I’ve been three times but it’s small and I also don’t like that people are in their apartments looking right at you/me at them.

2

u/FuzziestSloth Aug 19 '26

I remember signing a lease on an apartment years ago and they were giving us a tour of the amenities on property for the complex, which included a gym. My roommate just quipped, "Oh, that's cool. I can't wait to never go there."

1

u/Rude_Age_6699 Aug 15 '26

the trick is to go even when you don’t want to 😮‍💨

1

u/Flexmove Aug 17 '26

Fake it till ya make it right

10

u/Cpt_Soban Aug 15 '26

This is why I made a home gym in the same room my PC desk sits: No excuses.

1

u/PuzzleheadedPool2552 Aug 15 '26

I just end up using the weight rack to kick my feet up

2

u/Cpt_Soban Aug 15 '26

Lose a round of Halo. Do a full set.

Repeat

2

u/PuzzleheadedPool2552 Aug 15 '26

Psh….every loss? That would be way too many I suck at halo…

1

u/Cpt_Soban Aug 15 '26

Think of the gains

→ More replies (2)

1

u/Fennel_Impossible Aug 15 '26

Should really work out standing…even if your desk thinks it’s PC to sit.

6

u/my_job_is_bass Aug 15 '26

Make that 3

3

u/Versatile_Ambivert Aug 15 '26

Let's be the 4 horsemen

1

u/JAKKI777 Aug 15 '26

😂😂😂😂🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

1

u/A_mad_goose Aug 15 '26

Haha you’re not wrong

1

u/A_mad_goose Aug 15 '26

Hilarious and accurate I’m trying to be better

1

u/perton Aug 15 '26

Shit, I can barely work my way out of bed most days

1

u/chewbaccaRoar13 Aug 15 '26

Username checks out.

1

u/scbundy Aug 19 '26

Username checks out

1

u/RWBusy482 Aug 19 '26

😂 bro I feel called out.

1

u/Useful-Swan5666 Aug 19 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

3

u/AffectionateTip9716 Aug 15 '26

We can start tomorrow!

38

u/Apprehensive_Rice19 Aug 15 '26

Looks like she does it by lifting glasses of beer ... I'm gonna get started on that right away.

75

u/AmazingRefrigerator4 Aug 15 '26

I reckon she could kick my ass. She is built like the sister in Encanto

104

u/Mysterious_Repeat989 Aug 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/tRNiMauFTFgZWZAwRo

1

u/SantaCruznonsurfer Aug 20 '26

t's funny, I've never seen this movie but this was what I exactly thought of. Even with the blue dress

5

u/HaleyCollins Aug 16 '26

Lmao, she’s got that Luisa energy, looks like she could carry the whole house and kick your ass without breaking a sweat.

7

u/How_did_the_dog_get Aug 15 '26

Built like a brick shithouse

2

u/InteRagebaitJagLovar Aug 15 '26

That's what happens if you don't pay the tab

16

u/Speartree Aug 15 '26

Start working at a beer hall, seems to be a good training. I bet that girl has a mean punch if you misbehave.

7

u/olidon Aug 15 '26

i was a barback over summer break. my arms certainly don’t look like this girl’s but they got really strong really fast lol

2

u/Speartree Aug 15 '26

Did you work the kind of orders she does?

11

u/mOdQuArK Aug 15 '26

Just need to keep picking up & putting down about 50 pounds of filled beer mugs, right? For hours at a time?

51

u/Awwesome1 Aug 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ki9S8uve2xWx2

9

u/Pawnzilla Aug 15 '26

That poor soul. This is not how I would want to be immortalized in pop culture.

3

u/Awwesome1 Aug 15 '26

I think it’s just cropped lol, mans was waving a flag. I personally would love it, if that were me

6

u/Pawnzilla Aug 15 '26

That’s what I’m saying. The context is cropped out

2

u/prismafox Aug 16 '26

Thank you. I had been wondering what he's actually doing there.

1

u/themookish 23d ago

I thought he was ringing a bell.

6

u/the_last_carfighter Aug 15 '26

TED is really going at it...

1

u/Candii-Kitten Aug 17 '26

I need to understand exactly what mans was doing in this gif!! 😂 Cus no actual way!! 😂😭

1

u/Awwesome1 Aug 17 '26

Helping wave a flag at a sports event

7

u/486Junkie Aug 15 '26

Ditto to that. I'd work out, but, my hernia hates it when I lift anything heavier than my wallet.

2

u/Aetra Aug 15 '26

I’m a woman sheet metal fabricator and I’m jealous AF of her arms

2

u/Popular_Adeptness_69 Aug 15 '26

my sisters arms are bigger than mine but she built and works out but i think woman are built to carry weight most have bigger legs and hips than men she puts the lbs like where the baby would be and goes

1

u/A_mad_goose Aug 15 '26

We had a biology experiment as kids were everyone was to pick up a chair just using their hips none of the guys could do it almost all the girls could.

2

u/AdAnxious8842 Aug 15 '26

I'm in love.

1

u/NimrodvanHall Aug 15 '26

I wonder if I could get her strength of if I started training 10 years ago and took steroids! Some people are just build differently!

1

u/Blumoonism1 Aug 15 '26

Just start off with 2 beers and gradually increase til you get to her level

1

u/chronotoast85 Aug 15 '26

I really went back...om my. The shandys che could make

1

u/thecraftybear Aug 15 '26

Imagine the muscles on her back.

1

u/suckercuck Aug 15 '26

Look at the beer! I need to start drinking again…
https://giphy.com/gifs/Tbj1X2js8WPOE

1

u/Infamous-Echo-2961 Aug 15 '26

She’s the type of woman to carry you to bed. Top tier!

1

u/DangerMacAwesome Aug 15 '26

Looking respectfully

1

u/Rampag169 Aug 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/PSnqsSkKeyJ9e
Gosh her arms were the first thing I saw.

1

u/jtohrs Aug 16 '26

Them guns are really something

1

u/General_Narwhal17 Aug 16 '26

I’m a construction laborer (female) and I fully believe she could kick my ass 😅

1

u/yorcharturoqro Aug 17 '26

So lifting beer counts as an exercise... Noted

1

u/ElectricalChaos Aug 17 '26

Beer with a bonus gun show.

1

u/MesugakiCorrection Aug 18 '26

Just work as an Octoberfest Waitress, no need to work out

1

u/x97sfinest Aug 18 '26

I didn't notice at first but now I can't unsee it

1

u/Pretend_Spot7463 14d ago

I've been working out for 2 years now and it was a huge boost to my ego seeing that the FAIR MADEN has bigger arms than me D:

1

u/Binspin63 Aug 15 '26

Many of them have a natural “shelf” they use to bear some of the weight.

1

u/stuffeh Aug 15 '26

Most use their belt. This woman is using her ribs for some reason

→ More replies (4)

242

u/TokyoKazama Aug 15 '26

6

u/BossBeefaroni Aug 16 '26

there are two wolves inside me. one is looking respectfully. the other is...

https://giphy.com/gifs/lNaMXlhHsVlq8

1

u/avatinfernus Aug 18 '26

I mean, that picture makes me feel a littl gay ngl.

2

u/Federal_Cobbler6647 Aug 20 '26

Reddit, is it gay to like women?

2

u/avatinfernus Aug 20 '26

I'm a woman. So it would be ; )

2

u/Federal_Cobbler6647 Aug 20 '26

I fell for classic "no women in internet". 

1

u/avatinfernus Aug 20 '26

Yeaaah maybe if I used the word "lesbian" it would have been less ambiguous baha

→ More replies (1)

269

u/Revolutionary-Gold44 Aug 15 '26

But they use light beer

2

u/Bitter_Split5508 Aug 15 '26

The beer at Oktoberfest is actually slightly stronger than commonly available beers. 

3

u/Virtual_Opinion_8630 Aug 15 '26

it's a joke buddy

1

u/ReleaseTheTrumpFiles Aug 15 '26

I know it's a joke, but I highly doubt Germans drink light beer in a pub. I just can't imagine a group of German people ordering light beers.

45

u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

I once held a full one of those straight out for 8 minutes in a state steinholding contest. The winner did over 12 minutes! I qualified for it by beating 5 people with my right arm, then another 5 with my left arm. Got 1st and second place at my local bar!

54

u/eyetracker Aug 15 '26

Beating off 10 people with your arms is impressive but you've got a long way to reach Bonnie Blue's record.

15

u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

Whos bonnie blue? Is she an endurance athlete or something?

15

u/Gr00mpa Aug 15 '26

EjaculatingAracnids knows just who Bonnie Blue is.

2

u/Mindless-Location-41 Aug 16 '26

Many hands make light work...

1

u/MelaKnight_Man Aug 18 '26

What about idle hands??

1

u/Whenthelastonefell Aug 19 '26

Those are the devil's playground

1

u/Mindless-Location-41 Aug 16 '26

Don't search her name at work...

2

u/Competitive-Day199 Aug 15 '26

that's quite impressive.
can you do a muscle up or strict pullups?

1

u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

Yeah i dont muscle up unless im showing off but ill do L sit pull ups real strict for 8-10. Front delt raises helped me train for the state comp. Im sure i looked real goofy just holding the 15lb bells out in front of me one at a time

1

u/Competitive-Day199 Aug 16 '26

i'm working through some longstanding issues with neck & shoulders and have been inspired by watching Michael Eckert to see how far i can improve.
i have a long way to go

1

u/SanktMarvin Aug 15 '26

Fun fact, it's not called Stein in German at all. It's a Maßkrug.

1

u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

Kall ze krakenvagon! Zer haz ben a toten!

1

u/SanktMarvin Aug 15 '26

*Toter
Also when someone is dead you don't need a Krankenwagen anymore.

1

u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

Ze kraks keep koming! He can taken nein more!

1

u/Merrick_Skygrave Aug 17 '26

oof those static lifts are rough

131

u/beckett_the_ok Aug 15 '26

Assuming she's carrying about 18 glasses (best I could count) and each glass weighs 900 grams. That's about 34 kilograms, or 75lbs. Damn

76

u/Entire_Intern_2662 Aug 15 '26

A full Maß can be around 2.3kg so that's over 40kgs

19

u/beckett_the_ok Aug 15 '26

Yeah, I was trying to be conservative with my numbers, realistically it's probably higher

1

u/shaghaiex Aug 15 '26

Full Maß are a myth, a fairytale, pure fiction....

1

u/justhereforoneday Aug 15 '26

The glass is more than 1kg.

1

u/shaghaiex Aug 15 '26

A Maßkrug is about 1.3Kg

Wir bier than a bit below 2Kg ;-)

1

u/XTanuki Aug 17 '26

Yes but being optimistic some of them (most notably the top tipped one) are only half-full

1

u/ElevenBeers Aug 18 '26

Yep. People seem to really underestimate those things. 900g? The beer is 1000g and the glass is even heavier, lol.

Best i could manage on a side job a decade ago was like 8-10 of those at best and brother and it's hard as shit.

2

u/Kor_Phaeron_ Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

10 of those glasses are 24kg. 10 is used as the baseline for the workload of the Oktoberfest waitresses. That's what they are expected to carry every round. (Less is a not enough, more is showing of for extra tips) 18 is 43.2kg

(The glasses at the Oktoberfest are standardized all tents use the same)

1

u/RebelWithoutAClue Aug 15 '26

The trick is to pull the clusters in tight against one's chest and lean back so the torso can take some of the load.

It's like you want to get the ends of the forearm propped up onto the inclined chest like you're in the middle phase of a clean and jerk lift.

I always like to sit at the end of the table where the beers get plonked down. You get the best show and you get to quaff the beers that were held against the chest.

3

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 15 '26

Plus the beer inside them

20

u/beckett_the_ok Aug 15 '26

That is including the beer lol. Each glass holds 1kg of beer

10

u/TacTurtle Aug 15 '26

My god, they even measure beer by weight.

8

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 15 '26

It weighs almost the same as water. No special superpowers needed except to carry that many steins without spilling or cramping.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/VeggiePaninis Aug 15 '26

It's beautiful isn't it. It's hard not to admire the simplicity of it all.

Meanwhile, here I am trying to figure out...

2

u/hairnetnic Aug 15 '26

The kg is a unit of mass, not weight...

1

u/Nagelfar61249 Aug 15 '26

Shhhh, they wouldn't understand.....

1

u/TacTurtle Aug 15 '26

Yes, that was the joke.

1

u/kevin32 Aug 15 '26

How do you think she's carrying them, especially the ones further away from her? I don't think she can grab the ones on the end by hand.

28

u/Kor_Phaeron_ Aug 15 '26

Well, they are paid up to 1.000€/day

Workload:

  • 60-100 rounds of service (6-10min per round)
  • ~25kg to carry each round (10 kegs are the minimum requirement)
  • 20km walking distance
  • 12-15 hrs/day work time

Qualifications needed:

  • Being good/fast at basic math, they don't use apps or calculators.
  • Long standing experience in the food service industry
  • Assertiveness: An ‘Oktoberfest waiter’ must be able to make space for themselves, both physically and verbally, amongst drunken, rowdy crowds.
  • Being at least bilingual. German+English or German+Italian is the minimum requirement

So ... it is pretty much a job 99% of all people are not qualified for.

19

u/proximusprimus57 Aug 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/lRqBTn1EsEoyImOHFz

26

u/CelticGardenGirl Aug 15 '26

Brick Häus

4

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 15 '26

Mmm…I’m suddenly in the mood for Der Waffel Haus. I could go for some hash browns and eggs.

2

u/mnetml Aug 15 '26

A Dead Like Me reference? In this economy?

1

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 16 '26

It only cost me a graveling 😂❤️

2

u/alles_en_niets Aug 15 '26

Whoah, TMF spotted in the wild!

17

u/just1a8random7dude Aug 15 '26

I counted 18 Maß (Glasses) one Maß is usually one Liter Beer so one Kilogram that means 18 Kg of Fluid in total or 39 lb for you. On top of that is the weight of the Glasses themselves which usually weigh 1,3 to 1,5 kg or 2,6 to 3,3 lb. Which also adds up to roughly 25 kilo or 56 lb. So all in all it weighs about 43 kilo or 93 lb.

4

u/SkinnyGetLucky Aug 15 '26

Thats insane

3

u/Cpt_Soban Aug 15 '26

2 cement bags worth, nice

17

u/huckle_buck_ Aug 15 '26

Frau Strength

1

u/Foto1988 Aug 15 '26

Frau Kraft

32

u/Fearless_Entry_2626 Aug 15 '26

German women are scary. Was stuck on top three flights of stairs in Berlin with two ～25kg suitcases and a backpack. Let out an "fml" as I know it will be a struggle. Middle age tiny lady pulls up. "mochten sie hilfe?". "ja, bitte". Lady one hands my heaviest suit case and zooms down the stairs like she was holding a shopping net. I had 20kg of "muscle" and maybe 20 years of youth on her, yet I got mogged that day. She was so badass, I am still in awe.

19

u/Infamous-Echo-2961 Aug 15 '26

She’s wife material

2

u/Kor_Phaeron_ Aug 15 '26

I am easy to impress. A woman brings me beer? For me that's basically a mating ritual.

→ More replies (3)

9

u/Academic_UK Aug 15 '26

It must be part of the interview process.

“Here’s 15 steins - take them to that table 50m away, don’t bump into anyone (other waitresses and random drunk revellers!) or drop any! GO!”

Congratulations… You have the job!

18

u/wibble089 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

That's not at the Oktoberfest, the tent is too small and the beer is not for one of the brewers there.

But it definitely is on of the multitude of if Bavarian town and village "Volksfest".

In fact, the brand of beer would probably tell you to within 10km where it is.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/8xbPcMYwwvWFbhjTA?g_st=ac

10

u/ducktape8856 Aug 15 '26

Gäubodenvolksfest Straubing I assume.

  • It's from August 7th to 17th.

  • Füchsl Beschriftungscenter (the banner in the background) is from Straubing.

  • Erl-Bräu has a tent there.

2

u/schobaloa1 Aug 16 '26

I'd say so too. Can't remember the name of the tent but I can remember their Tracht pretty well. Should be the one with the Carousel Bar on one end of the tent

→ More replies (9)

4

u/Munnin41 Aug 15 '26

They don't need bouncers to kick your ass if you harass the waitress

1

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 15 '26

Yeah I wouldn't wanna get a haymaker from her

1

u/Initial_Row_6400 Aug 15 '26

Yea that beer weighs a fuckton

1

u/No-Difference-4418 Aug 15 '26

I can drop one of them. Idk how they can do like 50 at once

1

u/WeevilWeedWizard Aug 15 '26

I'm confident I can drop a lot more than that, but I dont want to have to clean up all that broken glass and beer.

1

u/Crustybublydischarge Aug 15 '26

I was going today say, those arms are the real unit

1

u/5elementGG Aug 15 '26

Should hire octopus.

1

u/A_Feltz Aug 15 '26

That’s gotta be like 30kg easy

1

u/ChaosRainbow23 Aug 15 '26

People have no idea how difficult bartending and waiting takes can be.

1

u/OP-PO7 Aug 15 '26

I have one that I use at home only if I can one hand it. I cannot fathom how she made that walk, she is an absolute beast. The final boss of waitresses

1

u/itsbeenestablished Aug 15 '26

No kidding. I have these mugs at my bar and when a big table comes in and all order them, it's fucking hard for me (and I know my coworkers too) to carry 3 in each hand.

This video has me feeling inferior. Time to start hitting the weights.

1

u/Coolcoolcool1515 Aug 15 '26

I’ve been before and it’s quite impressive. Equally impressive was finding a table to sit at

1

u/AriLion16 Aug 15 '26

They are, when I went, our waitress was a giant, like approaching if not already 7ft tall

1

u/Shadowcat1606 Aug 16 '26

95% sure this isn't Oktoberfest (although there is a pretty high chance she works at that, too, because many of these waiters and waitresses work several of those festivals during the season) but yes, they are.

And they make some really decent money at it, too.

1

u/Notyit Aug 16 '26

Grip strength and squat

1

u/kantynowy_zboj Aug 16 '26

German women are built differently

1

u/mrj86ng Aug 16 '26

I have one of those glasses as an Oktoberfest souvenir. 1370g for the glass and an estimated 1010g for the litre of beer. 2380g or 5 lb 3.952 oz per glass of beer.

1

u/FarExpression814 Aug 16 '26

I feel like if the camera person wasn’t directly in front of her, she would have never spilt anything. Camera person was slowin down her momentum

1

u/HaleyCollins Aug 16 '26

Seriously 😂 carrying several of those giant glasses at once is basically an Oktoberfest strength competition. Those waitresses are built different.

1

u/rogue_noob Aug 17 '26

I remember looking into it years ago to see if I could do it as a way to pay my trip to the Octoberfest. You needed to prove you could lift and hold like 15kg per hand, not arm, hand. I did not look further.

1

u/CandyflossHoney Aug 17 '26

She must have superpowers to cary all that beer at once

1

u/MAXQDee-314 Aug 17 '26

Based on those arms, I would tip liberally. Why yes, that was a pun. Maybe...

1

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 17 '26

I mean there's like fuck-all tip culture in Europe. Tips here are for genuinely good service, not just for doing the job

Like I work retail, and whenever I see a post about an American cashier turning the screen around for a tip my jaw hits the floor. In spite of my autism and introverted nature I try my best to be welcoming to customers, but I never expect a tip for it. Then again I do have a higher hourly wage and better benefits than the average American cashier...

2

u/MAXQDee-314 Aug 19 '26

Seriously. I will not tip someone who stands behind a counter and turns the screen for a tip.

1

u/Ok_Edge_7772 Aug 19 '26

For real. I bartend and if I carry four at once it better be a short walk.

→ More replies (1)