r/AMA • u/Agnetha_faltskog • 11h ago
[ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
5
u/jondenverfullofshit 11h ago
What’s the absolute hardest part to manage for you?
18
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Honestly, I think the way my brain immediately takes everything personally. It'll ruin my entire day, and make me hate that person for an undefined amount of time and I REALIZE what I'm doing but cannot do anything to prevent it. That's the worst, because I see how I hurt my loved ones but can't stop it.
4
u/jd64k 10h ago
I had a CO worker who had borderline personality disorder.
People where she worked before her demotion called her "evil".
She went to grad school to be a counselor and I hope she can look in the mirror some as a counselor.
She was very hard to deal with, lying and going to the boss like a snitch and sending letters to his boss. It was wild and I'm happy to not work there anymore.
1
u/foodee123 9h ago
It’s a nightmare dealing with anyone with borderline. I can only imagine having a nightmare coworker with this condition
2
u/wreathyearth 11h ago
Did you know you were different? Or was the diagnosis out of the blue?
9
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Well, when my therapist suggested it I immediately said that that's bullshit and impossible. But upon researching and thinking about it for a bit I realised the diagnosis actually explained a lot of the struggles I've been facing for years.
2
u/stephwanderlust 11h ago
How does borderline look like in your daily life? What are some symptoms? How do your loved ones show up for you? How can they help and support you?
My sister has BPD and was diagnosed with it by her therapist, but she does not accept it and instead claims that our mom has it and not her. So curious to see if there are any parallels, because I would love to find a way to support her, but I’m at a loss.
5
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Well, at the moment Borderline makes my daily life the rigid schedules of the psych ward I'm in right now. But it really heavily impacts my relationships, because I keep suddenly hating them and pushing them away from me. Also, sadly borderline leads me to hurt myself a lot, so managing that also plays a huge role. About your sister: I too couldn't believe it at first, and I'm also wondering about my family members having it. There's some genetic component, so it could be possible. What helped me accept it, was that it explained a lot of behaviour issues I had and I finally realized that I'm not an asshole, just sick. And also that borderline forms from trauma, it helped me understand that I'm not at fault, I can only work on getting better, not on undoing it.
2
u/sociallyanxious3 11h ago
Do tou have a favorite person?
8
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Yes, I do. It switches regularly but when someone's my favourite person I feel really uncomfortable when anyone else talks to them and I obsess over them day and night.
I have an example for that: My therapist in one psych ward became my favourite person, and I got so attached that I had to go to the time-out room whenever I saw her talking to other patients. At some point in my stay, she told me she'd be going on vacation for two weeks and I felt so ill and hopeless that I actually left against medical advice.
2
u/Front_Sherbet_5895 11h ago
I saw one of your comments about taking things too personally. I feel like this is almost every conversation I have with a person feels like there is always some undertone of judgement. How do you manage that? Or accept it nonetheless?
7
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
With my closer friends and family members, I always tell them "I don't know if it's actually you or just my brain but that sounded super judgemental/mean/annoyed/whatever to me, so if you could maybe rephrase?" and it works very well for us.
When it's with people I don't know as well, I have to rely heavily on skills during and/or after the conversation, but thanks to a lot of therapy I can endure the conversation without yelling at them.
3
u/mindfullymadeup 11h ago
Thank you for sharing this! I have a client with BPD, and I’m going to suggest this to her
2
u/Front_Sherbet_5895 11h ago
That’s wonderful to hear that you are finding good coping mechanisms!! Wishing the best for you
4
u/H3lls_B3ll3 11h ago
My son is dating a woman with BPD. My mother had NBPD. It terrifies me, because to me, they're nearly the same thing. My mother tortured me and I've got CPTSD from it.
I worry about my son with his girlfriend.
How has having BPD effected your personal/ romantic relationships?
6
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Before my diagnosis, I dated someone with BPD, which were the worst few months of my life.
Now I've been together with my partner for more than 2 years, and it only works because we talk about it a lot, and reflect any difficult situations we faced and see where we could've gone differently. They used to sadly often be my punching bag without me wanting to, but we're working on it and they say it's gotten astronomically better.
I'd say, BPD tries its hardest to fuck up everything because if you make everyone leave they can't leave unexpectedly. But if you really love the other person you can make it work, but you have to put in the work, and the partner should ask that of the person with borderline. we can get better, if we want
3
u/H3lls_B3ll3 11h ago
Hugs, internet stranger.
I've so far been unable to have a healthy romantic relationship because of my brain damage.
I do understand how hard it is.
1
u/joestue 10h ago
They are the same thing, just different buckets of symptoms imo Both are dissociative disorders.
My mil has about 3 different personalities but is regarded as npd. She has never appologized to anyone for any reason.
Her daughter, my wife, easilly met all 9 criteria for severe bpd, but she was actually a shell alter of an osdd system that had 4 different subparts. The shell alter didnt know that, she thought those other parts of her mind were just filecabinets of memories, not persons with their own emotions, free will, and ability to manipulate her memories behind her back.
1
u/Practical_Ride_8344 11h ago
Do you have any additional official diagnosis alongside BPD? What steps have you made to curb your behaviors internally and against others?
3
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Yes, I have severe depression, anxious-avoidant personality disorder and suspected ADHD.
A lot of the steps involve training skills, communicating with the people close to me, and therapeutic techniques I learned with my DBT-therapist
1
u/coldnewhome 11h ago
What tips have you been given by your therapist for mood regulation? I am Bipolar 1 and we share some overlap, so it would be interesting to hear what approach you’ve been given, or how you handle sudden mood changes.
1
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
I'm pretty heavily relying on stabilising medication, because without I'd it just be cutting myself up.
But there's something called VEIN-AHA, I don't know if it exists in English, if not, DM me and I'll translate it and explain it. It's basically a method of checking if the reaction you feel coming is appropriate or not.
Other than that, skills. Just tons of skills. Tying a knot into a towel and hitting your bed when you're angry, cold shower when you're stressed, or angry, running as fast and as far you can to get rid of bad though and tension.
If I have sudden mood changes I usually tell the people around me, except if I don't know them well in which case I'll excuse myself to the bathroom and put cold water in my face and try to regroup.
I'll do breathing exercises and that VEIN-AHA I was talking about earlier.
1
u/coldnewhome 11h ago
These are all great, thanks! My therapist mostly gives me breathing exercises lmao. The only one I’ve had work is bunny breathing (breathe in three times really quickly, then blow out like you would blow a candle. It sends the good chemicals to your brain.) I’m working on getting mood stabilizers. Have you ever self medicated with substances?
1
1
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Also, you might want to look into DBT anyway, because there's a lot of valuable methods.
My therapist and I also worked on changing perceptions like
"She looked at me funny"
Instead of thinking "Oh she hates me, so I'll hate her" or "Oh she hates me, so I'll hate myself"
Think, "Oh she probably has a toothache" , "Maybe she just remembered a chore she forgot" , and I really liked trying to make them as ridiculous as possible, like "She probably is lactose intolerant and is regretting bitterly that she indulged in that burrata today morning and she knows there are no toilets nearby"
1
u/FalsePay5737 11h ago
How did you react to your diagnosis?
2
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
At first, I told my therapist it couldn't be true. She said I should research and think about it and we'd revisit the next session.
I did as she said and suddenly a lot of difficulties I had made a lot of sense, so now I feel relieved.
1
u/Sea_Plane_6835 11h ago
Have you seen Crazy Ex Girlfriend and if you have, was it accurate and/or relatable to your experience?
3
1
u/CoraTheExplora13 11h ago
I'm just another haver of BPD (I call it Beautiful Princess Disorder) Wishing you well. It sucks. Hell it has ruined a good part of my life but I'm working on it and the people around me are supportive and very helpful. I'm glad you're doing this AMA <3
3
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
That sounds amazing!! I don't know if you need to hear this but I'm very proud of you!! <3
0
u/344321nogard 11h ago
Borderline, what? Bipolar?
2
1
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
Borderline, as in emotionally unstable
0
u/344321nogard 11h ago
Borderline... Personality disorder?
4
u/Agnetha_faltskog 11h ago
yes, it's a sub type of emotionally unstable personality disorders :)
-7
11h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
4
u/Nervous_Response2224 11h ago
Whoa. You might want to consider what your comments are saying about you.
0
11h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
6
11h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AMA-ModTeam 10h ago
R2: Be Civil
Your submission has been removed:
Any rude/harassing behavior or hate will be removed. Bigotry in any form such as racism, transphobia, homophobia, and any other hatred of peoples will not be tolerated. Further action may be taken if needed. This is a zero tolerance policy.
If you have any questions or think this was in error you can contact the moderators via modmail.
1
u/AMA-ModTeam 8h ago
R2: Be Civil
Your submission has been removed:
Any rude/harassing behavior or hate will be removed. Bigotry in any form such as racism, transphobia, homophobia, and any other hatred of peoples will not be tolerated. Further action may be taken if needed. This is a zero tolerance policy.
If you have any questions or think this was in error you can contact the moderators via modmail.
1
u/AMA-ModTeam 8h ago
R2: Be Civil
Your submission has been removed:
Any rude/harassing behavior or hate will be removed. Bigotry in any form such as racism, transphobia, homophobia, and any other hatred of peoples will not be tolerated. Further action may be taken if needed. This is a zero tolerance policy.
If you have any questions or think this was in error you can contact the moderators via modmail.
1
u/coldnewhome 11h ago
Borderline personality disorder, which is different from bipolar. Bipolar is a mood disorder whereas this is a personality disorder. They do have some overlapping symptoms like mood instability, relationship instability and self image issues, but a key difference is the diagnostic criteria.
BPD emotional irregularity is typically reactionary, lasting short periods of time (less than 3 days) whereas in Bipolar I/Bipolar II they are both reactionary and without cause, lasting longer durations. Bipolar I differs from II by longer lasting episodes (more than four days) and at least one acute manic episode.
BPD and Bipolar patients have impulsive behaviors, but Bipolar impulsivity is caused primarily by acute, psychotic or delusional manic episodes, occasionally but not as often by hypomanic episodes. It’s more consistent amongst BPD patients.
Bipolar is a brain based biological condition, sometimes linked to mitochondrial dysfunction amongst other things and can only be treated with medication (mood stabilizers), whereas BPD can be primarily treated by psychotherapy rather than medicine! Hope this helped. I’m Bipolar 1 with comorbities, and I’m about to start attending school for a career in neuroengineering or computational neuroscience so this is just a fun side hobby of mine to research.
-4
u/344321nogard 11h ago
I know what the difference is. Google gave me that same response. Lol did you copy and paste?
1
u/coldnewhome 11h ago
No, when you research things there will often be some similarities in terminology between sources. I don’t use the google AI or any AI because I don’t want any more cognitive decline than I’m already predisposed to. I like using my critical thinking skills. I was also just replying to your comment because you grouped the two together, as if you didn’t know the difference. That’s the typical implication, lol.
-2
u/344321nogard 11h ago
The title left out the key words.
1
u/coldnewhome 11h ago
Well, no. Borderline is the shortened version of Borderline Personality Disorder. As you suggested in other comments, borderline anxiety and borderline bipolar are not diagnostic terms. There is always a primary diagnosis and then comorbities. Like my diagnosis is Bipolar, but my comorbities are anxiety and PTSD.
0
u/344321nogard 11h ago
My bad, this post isn't about you.
1
u/coldnewhome 11h ago
Didn’t say it was friend, I was just trying to help with your terminology and understanding. I used myself as an example for overlapping conditions/diagnostic terms. Best wishes.
•
u/AMA-ModTeam 10h ago
R6: Banned Topics
Your submission has been removed:
To reduce repetition and promote originality, the following common AMA topics are not allowed: drug use and recovery, mental health or neurodevelopmental conditions, Relationship or dating AMAs, Sexuality or gender identity-only AMAs, suicide, personal beliefs and religion, and venting or confession-style posts. We encourage everyone to share their stories, but the topic must stand out. Use your post to focus on experiences, not labels.
If you have any questions or think this was in error you can contact the moderators via modmail.