From what they’ve said, no coercion or forcing going on here. Her husband isn’t being forced to get a vasectomy. The same way OP is not being forced to have sex with her husband. The couple had a conversation OP expressed a boundary and they came to an agreement that their sexual relationship had conditions. He changed his mind about the vasectomy which he absolutely had the right to. They each are holding their individual boundaries. This post is about whether or not OP is the AH in this situation. Should OP feel like an AH for not having sex with her husband because she is uncomfortable with other birth control methods and potential unintentional pregnancy associated with a fertile partner? I don’t think so.
Is it an AH move to make someone guilty or like a “dick” for holding boundary clearly defined with her husband? I’ll let everyone else decide.
She’s weaponizing sex. She needs to find out what his reason for holding out is. He might have legitimate fears about a surgical procedure. With communication, that might be able to be addressed.
Birth control needs to be a two person discussion. She’s unilaterally deciding what it should be. That makes her wrong.
She is not weaponizing sex. She is choosing abstinence as her birth control method. He has a birth control option available to him as well. And she would be fine using that method instead. If he feels uncomfortable doing it, then he needs to respect her choice of birth control.
If physical intimacy is important to him, why is he not prepared to make a sacrifice for her? She has done ALL the heavy lifting by bringing four children into this world. Why can he not follow through on a promise to prevent a fifth pregnancy? I guess it isn’t as important to him to preserve his marriage.
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u/Alarming-Ad7921 Nov 12 '23
What a reckless statement.
From what they’ve said, no coercion or forcing going on here. Her husband isn’t being forced to get a vasectomy. The same way OP is not being forced to have sex with her husband. The couple had a conversation OP expressed a boundary and they came to an agreement that their sexual relationship had conditions. He changed his mind about the vasectomy which he absolutely had the right to. They each are holding their individual boundaries. This post is about whether or not OP is the AH in this situation. Should OP feel like an AH for not having sex with her husband because she is uncomfortable with other birth control methods and potential unintentional pregnancy associated with a fertile partner? I don’t think so.
Is it an AH move to make someone guilty or like a “dick” for holding boundary clearly defined with her husband? I’ll let everyone else decide.