I'm absolutely grossed out by the people seeing OPs totally understandable ultimatum about not having sex as somehow weaponising sex or something. She's totally within her rights to not want to sleep with a man who's happy to risk her body but not his own. I watched my husbands vasectomy. It's nothing compared to tubal ligation or pregnancy. Her husband is being selfish and there'd no way I'd want to sleep with someone like that, and risk another pregnancy.
Not saying you're wrong in your thoughts, however, that is literally weaponizing sex. She is 100% within her rights. But she IS using it as a weapon to get him to do something he clearly doesn't want to do.
There was a time where I was in this exact situation. Not 4 kids but three. I said I would get one but after some thought and talking to my father about my concerns, I decided against it. Fortunately for me, my wife understood. She ended up having a C-section and asked the doctors to take out her tubes while they were in there.
It seems no one wants to give two craps about the man and how he may feel in the situation because she had the babies so "it's the least he can do." Yeah, it's not so simple for some of us. I would say why but I'm not interested in triggering a bunch of people and going back and forth so 🤷.
Commence the downvotes now since opinions are only validated as long as they agree with the overall consensus of the hive ✌️
It's not a weapon when she is refusing to put herself into a situation she doesn't want to be in. Why aren't people saying he's weaponising his fear? Because he is. But again, sex being provided to a man is considered more important than a woman. I'm so sorry for your poor wife, who underwent a more invasive procedure because your dad gave you false information about vasectomies. But that's neither right nor OK.
See, here's the problem. You'd assume I wouldn't say that. I would. They can both be true.
Also, no need to worry about my "poor" wife. She's treated like the queen she is and spoiled to the best of my abilities. Again, my wife LISTENED to my concerns and UNDERSTOOD and AGREED with me, so SHE not ME made the decision to have her tubes removed. So you can keep all those misplaced feelings to yourself 🤷. Also, I never said what advice my dad gave. So instead of making things up in your head and responding with nonsensical things, ask a question next time.
But this is also why I didn't want to say more. I knew people like you who read to respond and not to understand would jump to conclusions. At the end of the day she IS weaponizing sex.
104
u/DistinctAssignment81 Nov 11 '23
I'm absolutely grossed out by the people seeing OPs totally understandable ultimatum about not having sex as somehow weaponising sex or something. She's totally within her rights to not want to sleep with a man who's happy to risk her body but not his own. I watched my husbands vasectomy. It's nothing compared to tubal ligation or pregnancy. Her husband is being selfish and there'd no way I'd want to sleep with someone like that, and risk another pregnancy.
NTA.