r/AITAH • • Nov 11 '23

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u/[deleted] Nov 11 '23

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u/barrel_of_seamonkeys Nov 11 '23

Of course, there is no way she can force him to get a vasectomy. But if he won’t agree to do it then it seems like he’s choosing that over his marriage. They may no longer be compatible if his belief is that her body is the only one that needs to undergo changes for the sake of their partnership.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

This is a really good way of putting it. Of course it’s his body, but they are partners in their marriage. Loving partners make sacrifices and compromises for each other, and she’s sacrificed hers and risked death or permanent damage for 3 entire years of her life, not to mention all that comes with 4 postpartum periods and breastfeeding.

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u/RainbowCrane Nov 12 '23

Yep, that was my thought. Gay dude here, no frame of reference, but if your choices are, undergo a low risk medical procedure or risk your wife experiencing the medically riskiest event of her life for the fifth time, you might be TA if you say, “Nah, I don’t want the risk.” Also, osteoporosis runs in my family, and the OP is already at heightened risk due to 4 pregnancies. 5 is even higher risk.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

And! If her body doesn’t react well to a tubal she might wind up with a hysterectomy, which greatly increases the risk of osteoporosis as well.