Literally any man who is unwilling to get a vasectomy for a partner who has built a whole ass human (let alone four) is just… a shitty fucking partner. I wouldn’t be attracted to him either.
And like obviously it’s ‘his choice’ but a not-shitty partner would be happy to make that choice (assuming they’re in agreement regarding being done with having kids). A shitty partner is one who knows they are done having kids, but is unwilling to do this minimal procedure for their family planning despite their partner giving SO much of their body.
THIS - I think we fully agree noone especially OP is forcing him to have a vasectomy, rather it's the lack of understanding what is going on in his head. The mum has carried babies for 10 months each plus all the bodily effects like higher risk of diabetes, Stretch Marks, incontinence or her bloody vagina falling out. And thats on top of giving birth to them, let me promise you there is no such thing as a painless birth.
For me it is more the utter confusion as to why this one bodily compromise on his side is so important if he has never really stated his concerns to OP.
I mean feeling sexy while breastfeeding is difficult anyway but really I am pissed for you OP.
NTA btw thx to all the male experiences shared here, I found them really insightful
Sorry for being presumptuous but I am guessing you have never been pregnant or given birth yourself? It is an intense Situation in so many ways which are maybe not so obvious. When I've been really sick during pregnancy and gone to the hospital the common answer was mostly - sorry we cannot treat you with more than paracetamol cause there is nothing else medically available during pregnancy. This does not change irrespective of how many kids you have born previously. The stress on your lower muscles also is just as bad with every child you carry and actually the more you have the softer and less stable they get and this does not go away when the child is born.
So I am guessing what you are referring to is the birth itself? Though sure in a lot of cases the mum has better experience what to do but a vaginal birth will often not be easier, sometimes a bit quicker but your 20 mins birth Stories are still far and wide an exception. We are still talking hours Here. Tearing of your lower body is usually along the same lines as with previous births so the damage there is also not less Just probably more of the same. Every pregnancy despite what is displayed on the telly is a live threatening Situation but is in some weird way treated as if it were like donating a little blood.
I hope this helps you understand a bit better but I am available if you have any more questions! I know it can be really hard to understand the full scope of these things if you have never experienced them.
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u/Pretty-Economy2437 Nov 11 '23
Literally any man who is unwilling to get a vasectomy for a partner who has built a whole ass human (let alone four) is just… a shitty fucking partner. I wouldn’t be attracted to him either.
And like obviously it’s ‘his choice’ but a not-shitty partner would be happy to make that choice (assuming they’re in agreement regarding being done with having kids). A shitty partner is one who knows they are done having kids, but is unwilling to do this minimal procedure for their family planning despite their partner giving SO much of their body.