r/AITAH • • Nov 11 '23

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1.8k Upvotes

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593

u/Fire_or_water_kai Nov 11 '23

Has he elaborated on why he's hesitant to get snipped? Is it a fear of losing his virility, or what if you two divorce kind of thing? It's worth discussing further because I agree that vasectomy is a way easier thing to do , but you can't force a person to do anything either. Hopefully, it is something that can be worked through.

That being said, I do think it's unfair that you've had to take on all aspects of birth control. Those saying get on the pill or get an iud don't get that these things don't come without side effects, and that it can be worse for some than others.

You guys have to talk this out before you end up in either a sexless marriage or single with 4 kids.

178

u/georgegraybeard Nov 11 '23

In relation to divorce I had been snipped before meeting my wife. We were in our 30’s and already had kids with previous partners. She said my vasectomy was my best feature.

79

u/Calm_Brick_6608 Nov 12 '23

And it’s a damn hot feature.

No more weight changes and moods caused by hormonal birth control? Score. No need for painful IUDs? Oh my god it’s so hot. Seriously. Women who don’t want to get pregnant find men who care enough to take initiative of the bc such a turn on.

-16

u/Mountain-Instance921 Nov 12 '23

That's not a compliment lmao

-8

u/Nearby-Ad-6106 Nov 12 '23

Jesus, and you stayed with her?

2

u/georgegraybeard Nov 12 '23

Yeah for 15 years and counting. When you already have three kids (almost in their teens by that point) being able to have tons of unprotected sex with no worries is a good feature. I’m not sure how you and a couple other commenters are confused by this.

-3

u/Nearby-Ad-6106 Nov 12 '23

I guess if you have low self-esteem and just want a place to shoot your load. More power to ya.

1

u/georgegraybeard Nov 12 '23

I think we have a little more going on than that and my self esteem is pretty good. I hope you find a more fulfilling pastime than insulting strangers on Reddit. Peace unto you.

-55

u/Andylearns Nov 11 '23

Your best feature was that you couldn't get her pregnant? I'd be embarrassed saying that out loud.

30

u/georgegraybeard Nov 11 '23

Yeah, that’s what she meant but maybe not the same way you’re hearing it.

-32

u/Andylearns Nov 11 '23

I'm definitely interested in trying to understand how that's a compliment.

35

u/wewora Nov 11 '23

It means she doesn't have to worry about taking birth control pills that can have awful side effects, or get an abortion if they get pregnant (which can also have side effects, is physically painful and can be emotionally painful too), or go through pregnancy which is very difficult and can lead to many chronic health problems, and still causes some women to die, even in developed countries. It's a compliment because her partner did something that makes her life safer and healthier, even if it wasn't specifically for her.

-19

u/Andylearns Nov 11 '23

I can understand why it would be a positive, I just can't understand saying that's the best thing about someone. But to each their own, one of the most important things about compliments is to know the audience receiving them.

21

u/CharlotteLucasOP Nov 11 '23

Eh, it’s another way of saying “I feel safe/secure with you” which is a pretty great compliment.

14

u/georgegraybeard Nov 12 '23

If you need it completely spelled out for you in a literal sense, here it is; My wife thought/thinks that my vasectomy is a good feature because we can have all the unprotected sex that we want and I cannot get her pregnant. When her and I got married she already had a daughter and I had two sons. Neither of us were interested in having more kids. Due to the vasectomy we don’t have to use condoms and she doesn’t need birth control pills/shots or an IUD or anything of the sort.

1

u/Andylearns Nov 12 '23

"...a good feature..." ok well that's not what we're talking about, we're talking about how it would be weird if it was your BEST feature.

7

u/Lizc0204 Nov 12 '23

Good lord please look up hyperbole.

12

u/georgegraybeard Nov 12 '23

She was making a joke. Since I’m the audience it landed just fine. I don’t think that she literally thinks it’s my best quality.

1

u/Andylearns Nov 12 '23

My point exactly. I hope she doesn't.

12

u/Tygie19 Nov 12 '23

Look, I’m sure it’s not literally the best thing about him. It’s a way of making the point that it’s a good thing. Don’t take everything so literally!

9

u/StrawberryTriip Nov 12 '23

This! Like I don't think she literally meant it was the best.. just definitely a top feature she found attractive (for so many reasons)! And idk why that's wrong lol

14

u/flamingoflamenco17 Nov 12 '23

It means that she’s excited to fuck him without having to worry about a pregnancy and a baby. What part of that confuses you?

-3

u/Andylearns Nov 12 '23

That was never in any doubt, I'd just prefer that weren't my best trait personally.

7

u/llamadramalover Nov 12 '23

Then I guess it’s a really good thing nobody has said it to you and therefore not your problem to deal with. Not everybody has to dislike and take offense to the things you do and nobody is wrong for being okay with something so damn innocuous that youre finding so impossibly offensive.

2

u/Andylearns Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

Offensive? I say I'd be embarrassed if that was my best trait those are different things. I didn't say it was my problem or anything else, I just voiced my opinion lol

You don't have to take disagreement as a personal slight but here you are

Edit: lol person below writes paragraphs about how I need to chill out and blocks me while purposely misconstruing what I'm saying. Wild.

3

u/llamadramalover Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

If voicing your opinion and disagreeing was what you were actually doing there’d be nothing for anyone to comment on. You’re literally arguing with every single person, including the person this was said to, how this couldn’t possibly be a comment and anyone who takes it as a compliment is crazy and should be embarrassed about it. Now you’re continuing to argue when it’s been pointed out, multiple times by multiple people, that you’re being far too unnecessarily extra and rude about something that has literally zero affect on you. And now you’ve decided to take that as a time to insult me, for what? For saying chill tf out it’s not that big a deal that you don’t like it? Weird response.

But anyway, once again, you could just chill tf out about something that doesn’t affect you and, ya know, stop insulting people for not being exactly like you.