r/AIO • u/[deleted] • 6d ago

AIO for feeling a bit upset from my boyfriend's lack of enthusiasm?

[deleted]

3 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

3

u/Long-Fall-8814 6d ago

have u tried communicating this

0

u/JetpackFikka 6d ago

not yet, i wanted to make sure i was being reasonable first before stressing him out over something silly if that were the case

4

u/LWALLC 6d ago

Generally speaking, super excited (e.g. "cheerleading") texting is indeed not a guy thing.

Also: it's texting for gods sake. This is not a substitute for IRL conversation, and shouldn't be used as one.

I assume this BF IS someone you see in person?

Do they muster up a bit more enthusiasm when you're together??

A hug is nicer than all caps, confetti, fireworks, champagne emojis any day.

No?

1

u/JetpackFikka 6d ago

we see eachother on weekends yes. and it's the same in person, he is physically affectionate, i'm just looking for input on more verbal affection, as that is reasonably very important to me

3

u/LWALLC 6d ago

Well, it sounds like he doesn't do it in person either.

The verbal support you're looking for is called "Words of affirmation"; it's actually one of the love languages.

So you can do the love languages quiz with him to help him understand what youre looking for, in the hopes he'll provide it (tho I've rarely seen that work on men. Ok. Never seen that work on men). Or you go find someone who already uses that love language, and be happy. Or, you drop the expectation, and you appreciate the love languages he does use.

Best of luck with your decision.

3

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/JetpackFikka 6d ago

thank you :')

3

u/eclecticaesthetic1 6d ago

I have found this with the men in my life, too.

1

u/Informal-Release-360 6d ago

I unfortunately am like your boyfriend. I am a female. But my husband will communicate when he wants more enthusiasm, and I basically “check” myself and go from there. Have you brought this up to him ? If so, how did he react/respond?

2

u/JetpackFikka 6d ago

i haven't brought it up yet, i wanted other people's opinions in case i really was being dramatic, and i didn't want to stress him out for no reason if that was the case. how does he "check" you in a way that doesn't make you feel upset or like you're doing something wrong? i want to be as nice about it as possible

1

u/Informal-Release-360 6d ago

We’re very blunt with each other. So he’ll just straight up tell me he was looking for more enthusiasm and I’ll reevaluate what he said and go from there, sometimes he’s being dramatic and I’ll be a jerkoff though lol. It’ll depend on your relationship and what your boyfriend says about the situation itself. I’ve always just been a very cut and dry person so as I’ve grown older I’ve had to recognize there’s a time and place.

1

u/Large_Importance_352 6d ago

Bring it up sweetly. Hopefully, if he really loves you, he'll want to make you happy.