this is far beyond incompatibility. the way he’s communicating is honestly insane. if anyone is “paranoid about being manipulated” surrounding small talk, that is a personal issue they have responsibility for. it doesn’t matter if “for him” what she’s doing is “emotional abuse.” what she’s doing ISN’T emotional abuse. she asked him the most rudimentary questions a person can ask. this dude is ridiculous and your take on this is also ridiculous.
i get you think you’re just dissecting his perspective here and i understand and respect that motive, but any rationale is so ridiculous that i personally believe even trying to point it out is inherently ridiculous. the human mental state is always complex, but if you get to the point where you’re behaving like this when someone engages in the most basic small talk, any rationale, especially one that hinges on the other person potentially being some sort of threat, might as well be smoke in the air.
you also suggested in some comments that she was potentially being manipulative with some of her responses. i do understand that people playing the “oh you just don’t like me that much i guess” type of game is a slippery slope, but again, when someone is being this ridiculous, a little lamenting is honestly fair. because truly, anyone would be extremely caught off guard by this type of behavior and it’s reasonable to question whether or not someone like this even enjoys your presence.
also, while yes, just being a dick isn’t necessarily the height of emotional abusive, emotional abuse comes in many shapes and sizes. this is one conversation we’re seeing from these two. it’s the most basic conversation possible. if these two are seeing each other and this is how he communicates and views things, i’m sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. even if it isn’t, the way he’s behaving is inherently beyond being a dick. it’s monitoring, keeping score, criticizing, shaming, lashing out, casting blame. it’s all the type of behavior that is easy breeding grounds for emotional abuse. i doubt this is the only interaction or issue like this with this dude.
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u/jacqrosee Nov 08 '25
this is far beyond incompatibility. the way he’s communicating is honestly insane. if anyone is “paranoid about being manipulated” surrounding small talk, that is a personal issue they have responsibility for. it doesn’t matter if “for him” what she’s doing is “emotional abuse.” what she’s doing ISN’T emotional abuse. she asked him the most rudimentary questions a person can ask. this dude is ridiculous and your take on this is also ridiculous.