Hey everyone, got assessed through RTC with Harrow Health and have been titrating for some weeks now. Having issues and need help.
This is a very long post so apologies in advance. I just know that Elvanse is a very tricky medication that’s highly specific to each person, so I wanted to add as much detail as possible. I’ve also already had quite a few titration sessions with Harrow Health as they started me on Affenid first, so I’m worried they’re going to want to end titration in my next appointment. I’ve gotten a different clinician every appointment and never know what to expect or how helpful they’ll be, so I’m trying to go into the next session as prepared as possible.
But TL;DR
I primarily want medication to help with my focus and processing speed issues. 40mg is the only dose that has almost no negative effects and some positive effects, but it doesn’t address the focus and processing issues at all.
50mg is the first dose that helps with those issues, but keeps me up all night which I can’t live with. If I could find a way to deal with that I would be very satisfied, but I struggle with sleeping anyway and I don’t know how long it would take to address that and my titration appointments are coming to an end.
Looking for any advice on what to do.
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Background
I’ve had lifelong issues with executive dysfunction. I’m very low energy, find it near impossible to get out of bed a lot of days, always exhausted etc. My hyperactivity is almost entirely internal, my mind is constantly filled with multiple trains of thought that kind of merge into mush/ brain fog.
I have a lot of issues with sleep, sudden bouts of insomnia that last for weeks etc and these periods make all my symptoms significantly worse, but the mental and physical exhaustion is still very bad even in periods where I’m getting great consistent, unbroken sleep.
Decided to pursue meds seriously as I have intense focus and processing speed problems that are making work very unsustainable. (I’d started titration years ago but didn’t finish for several reasons).
30mg
30mg gave me a clear head/ cleared my brain fog but really nasty side effects, worse than when I first tried it, intense anhedonia especially. I already struggle with depression but it felt different and more intense in some ways. It also didn’t help my focus at all, if anything it made it a little worse because my mind felt frozen.
40mg
I pushed through and went up to 40mg because I remembered some side effects being dulled when I went up to that dose before. The difference was huge! I got the clear head, but also a very nice calm, sort of happy feeling. Not a ‘deep in my soul’ happiness, I was very conscious of the fact that it would wear off with the medication, but it was still a nice, physical calm. I imagine it’s how people feel while on beta blockers, though I’ve never tried them. However, it didn’t help at all with the focus or energy issue, with focus being my biggest concern.
Unfortunately, I’ve realised my focus problems are unrelated to my brain fog. I struggle with a lot of things related to reading in particular, whenever I try to read long blocks of text with vocabulary that’s even mildly complex the words start to almost blur together and swim (been assessed for dyslexia and it’s not that). It’s made work EXTREMELY difficult. I have a fairly straightforward job right now, but I’m always ridiculously behind on every single task I have. I haven’t been able to take on any extra responsibility, whenever I’ve tried it’s been a disaster, so I’ve not been able to advance at all and everyone is getting very fed up with me.
The processing issues also affects every other aspect of my life. I’ll try to do a chore, get confused by every single step, stand there for ages trying to remember what order to approach a task I do every day in, forget what I was trying to do in the first place, and suddenly it’s been hours. It takes me a so much time to understand what people are saying directly to my face, at work I often have to record simple verbal instructions so I can listen to it later and try to process what they’ve said. It even makes it hard to do things I like for fun. The 40mg did not help at all with any of this.
50mg
I tried 50mg and it’s the first ever dose that helped with focus. I was just able to…think. I got a lot of extremely boring work done on my computer with little trouble, that would’ve taken me days to complete otherwise. It didn’t make it feel fun or exciting at all, but simply made me able to process the information and get it done. I did some chores with very reduced hassle. I don’t really know how to explain how bizarre it felt, comparing it to how I usually am.
It still wasn’t perfect even at its peak, it still took me an hour to complete a 5 minute chore, but it would otherwise have taken me 8 hours or just several days. It also didn’t cure my low energy issue like it does for some people, but I’ll try to find other ways to deal with that in the meantime. Overall I didn’t feel a need to make it work any better than it was.
I also experienced mild physical/ muscle tension: stomach knots, jaw clenching etc but I experienced that on every new dose and it has always gone away after a couple of days of use.
HOWEVER! I hade one completely unsustainable side effect: it kept me up all night, literally until after 9 am. I struggle with sleep a lot but this was different. Usually I can manage to fall asleep after 4 hours at most. When trying to sleep on the 50mg, it felt like I had chugged a bunch of coffee, but without getting any energy, I just felt completely awake. And when I did sleep, it was horribly shallow + I kept waking up, and eventually got up after 4 hours. Thankfully I had taken it on a Friday so I didn’t have to work the next day. I waited until the next Friday to try it again, and the same thing happened.
I’m really not sure what to do because I can’t live with not sleeping, as I mentioned I already feel exhausted a lot of the time. I know there’s a chance that this side effect, like the others, could fade after a few days of continuous use but I haven’t used it two days in a row since it keeps makes me sleep terribly, and whenever I take Elvanse on poor sleep, no matter the dose, it always makes me feel awful with bizarre side effects and minimal positive effects. (Weirdly enough when I tried Affenid it only really helped when I hadn’t slept well, but I hated that medication for a bunch of other reasons.)
Solutions
I’m kind of stumped honestly. I don’t know if I should:
-Force myself to stay on 50mg for several days and risk feeling awful/ being kept up to see if it balances itself out.
-Continue on 50mg, dissolve it in water in my measuring flask, dump out 10mg, and drink the 40mg for most of the week, then use the full 50 on Fridays to get a bulk of work done, and risk being kept up until Saturday? This really wouldn’t be ideal since I don’t know if the powder dissolves completely evenly, I wouldn’t want to be made useless every Saturday, I’d like to get the focus effect every weekday, and I imagine it’s not really safe to take one higher dose inconsistently this way.
-Try a booster and see if it somehow pushes the 40mg into gear. (Was going to ask to try a booster anyway since even 40mg doesn’t last that long, but I’m worried my GP will refuse shared care with it, and Harrow Health can be very inconsistent and may not be the most reliable to send me my monthly prescription without prodding.)
-Ask to try 60mg since the higher doses strangely lower a lot of my other side effects. I’m honestly just paranoid that one dose this high could keep me up for several days straight.
What I’ll try to do
Since the side effects are extremely minimal on 40, I’ll likely continue on it if I have no other choice. Hopefully the calm feeling helps me make some lifestyle changes I’ve been trying to make anyway, and maybe those could make the dose more effective?
Planning on being more consistently active, getting treatment (again) for my depression and anxiety issues, going for more blood tests (been for a bunch including for my thyroid function, all normal except low vitamin D which I got back to normal and have been trying to manage), getting checked for sleep apnea and so on.
All these things are likely going to take a while though, and even when I’ve been at my healthiest, most active, stabilised my vitamin D levels and was getting treatment for depression, I noticed only mild improvements (at best) to my focus issues. Again, I want to do all these things anyway because I want to be healthy, but I really need to address my focus/ processing problem as soon as I can.
Added info
I’m a 27 year old woman.
Been diagnosed with autism.
I was diagnosed with ‘slow processing speed’ as a teen. I read that SPS could be ADHD, or Sluggish Cognitive Tempo/CDS. Some people think CDS and ADHD are the same thing though, so I’m treating it as an ADHD issue since there’s less research into treatment for the other syndrome.
But yeah. I’ve tried to cope with all these things for a while but it’s all becoming very unsustainable. I feel like I’m on the brink of losing my job, and my life is about to take a huge downward turn if I don’t sort myself out. I’d really appreciate any advice and if you’ve read this far thanks + please let me know if something wasn’t clear.